I am not Angry!

when i am angry i have to walk away and calm down then come back to the person and express it in a more positive way than wha ti could have before.

As I read this, my heart wonders what could have taken you to the place that caused you to write this. Though I know that everyone has their "moments" I have felt only tenderness from your heart. I could write on several things here but without knowing the true cause of your writing, I would only be guessing and I do not like to write on a guess. I will say that yes, sleep does often help to lessen anger but it seldom removes it unless in ones sleep they have found resolution. If that is the case then it is a new day and we move on from there. If not then we will somewhere along our day revisit the situation and the battle begins anew. As for why you did not give and be done with the complications: I think you respect yourself and respect in the beauty of the love you have to give. To simply give it, lessens the strength inside you and disrespects your own self. You deserve moe than that and I think it is wonderful that you held to your self-respect and stood for yourself. That is the strength I see in you, in oyur writing and in your heart. You need not worry of losing your friends here. You are well rspected and very well Loved by so many here. I would be terribly saddened if you were not so much a part of here and of our lives. Hugsssssssss in case you need it. Mwahhh because I needed it . lol Always, Darrel

I buy your arguments that we should cultivate sweetness rather than creating bitterness through our anger. You are right when you say that if we go to sleep, our feeling of anger somehow changes, because in our sleep, our sub-consious mind start working. We feel angry - when things do not turn our way and when people do not act as per our wishes, therefore, we should try to make ourselves understand that everytime others won't behave, as we are thinking in our mind. If the things do not turn my way and I feel anger boiling inside me, I just keep quite and try to divert my attention towards some other task. I believe - 'either change the circumstances or if you cannot, accept the circumstances'.I won't like to lose any of my friends, because of my anger, it will look foolish on my part. Because I believe - Words are our slaves, till we speak those words and we become slaves of words, once they are out of our mouth. I always remain very alert and consious, while using my words in my posts (however, I am not infallible) and try to be as polite as possible.

Plenty of deep breathes and delayed reaction to situations. Counting from one to ten while I let the angry thoughts race through my head is another way to do it. Keeping quite and let the other person finishing his or her piece before I put in my angry perspective to show him or her my side of the story. But the delay reaction while trying to pick the best response has been working well for me so far!

I don't understand at all. How can you be angry when you have nothing in your mind. There must be something in your mind which must be doing something against your wish. You may not be getting things which you like or wish. Otherwise, i would feel like top of the world if my mind is empty!

When I get angry, I try really hard to isolate myself so that no one gets their feelilngs hurt. Anger is not really at a person or an event, but my interpretation of it. I try to look through different eyes, and that helps me to cool down. Sleep is a good thing, reading for me is another. Even though I may be engrossed in a story, the back of my mind is still focused.

I am part Irish so I can angry quick but get over it fast too. I am hoping through the years i have mellowed some and that all my friends like me for who I am . For now I aint a gonna change!

The comments you have made in your first paragraph could very well have been said by my wife. I see this far more than I would like but then other times she is fine. I know her anger comes from frustration. We have been married only but a short time following 11 years of her being on her own. What you say here helps me to understand that better. I seldom if ever get angry at anyone I know. At times, perhaps frustrated, but never angry. Anger within me comes from one basic source. I am a very considerate person. While that may come as a surprise to some who know me, I am. So when I encounter someone who is inconsiderate in a very blatant way it angers me. But that anger, for the most part, is short lived and stays within me. Of course it is perfectly human to become angry. It is as much a part of our human emotion as is love. The strange part is that we often will become far more angry, and be far less able to control that anger, with the one person we love most. While we may become angry at others, we are often able to control it and at times they never know. Human emotions can be one of our greatest gifts at times and at others our worst enemy, for if we reach the point where anger, in all it's forms, become our way of life we loose all of the things that make life a joy. You speak to that so very well in your last sentence.

To be angry is something that is not all bad for me. There are times when we need to be angry. We cannot be always smiling. We need to express what we feel and if we will sound and look angry doing that then so be it. But, we shouldn't be always angry either. there are also times when we need to be calm no matter what. So I'd say it's just a balance that we need to exercise. On the other hand, it's also more healthier to be calm most times.

Hey zandi! Sometimes it is just necessary to be angry and to let angry be! Sometimes you just can't force "nice"! You just can't always be nice all the time! I know what you are saying and I know that it isn't always easy to be nice all the time when you are just not feeling it! And then sometimes you regret having let that anger out! But, sometimes it just happens and sometimes you just need to let it happen because it you don't it will turn around and eat you up from the inside! You can't walk around always being nice even if you want to and think that is the way you should be. It would be great if we could always be that way, but if we are truly being ourselves and being human then we know that that wouldn't be real!

I have been feeling an underlining anger most of the time and it doesn't take much for me to snap! My problem may have started due to hormonal changes in my body and feeling excessively tired does not help. I decided the other day to take stock of the situation when I noticed my family was a little afraid to approach me! I decided that it is ok to feel angry; it's what you do with that feeling that is important. I have a long way to go but I am working on channelling my anger into more positive directions by taking time out, listening to music, a walk whatever. Wish me luck!

There is an old proverb in China, which said "don't transfer your anger to others, don't make the same mistake before". But in fact, only few people can be up to the standard. The one who is happy must live without depression. So, I suggest that you should change yourself naturally instead of forcing yourself to live in another way. Anger is not a bad thing. No anger no delight. I don't mean you can get angery at random. You can improve yourself by reading some books, communicating with others, doing some urgent things, and so on. I hope you will be happy every day.

Everyone, every person out there has been angry and gets angry from time to time. It's a very normal human emotion. It is what we do with it that counts. I think that is the first thing to accept is that it is ok to feel angry. Once you have validated your emotion you can find out where it is coming from. A great deal of anger comes from fear. However, there is righteous anger as well. That is the type of anger that rises from injustices, etc. I find that if I share with others what has caused the anger we can begin a dialogue, especially where friends are concerned. They have a right to know what actions resulted in the anger. If I am too angry to speak at first, I will do things that help to bring that anger down and into a place of rationale thought. So I meditate. Then I approach the friend in care but with honesty. I don't think it's wise for friends to hide their feelings from each other. And good friends will understand. Namaste-Anora

I think every thing must follow your feeling . believe yourself and never give up . keep a positive attitude . you are not anyry!! yes . may be love can bring you boring .on the other side , it can bring happy and ture feeling. ok . don't think too much , do whant you want to do .have a nice day! welcome to my discussions!!

zandi,i cannot imagine how a sweet person like you can ever get angry!!i,on the other hand do get angry.usually ,its because of some hidden frustration.when i am angry i blurt out certain things which i regret later.so ,now i am doing meditation.it has helped me to a great extent.also ,i count till ten before speaking anything(when i am angry)

just go on the flow and everybody are happy

You write really well. Sorry you're so angry. One would think you've outgrown it. I used to be angry all the time but life sort of worn the edges of it down. I had a total nervous breakdown. The way I deal with my anger is not to hold onto it. Let it go. My way of letting it go: I call my husband and unload on him. When we are home and I'm going off, he just turns his hearing aide down. It's worked for us for 27 years. Another way to deal with anger is to identify where it's coming from. Anger leads to depression so maybe some counseling would help. So the best way to deal with anger is go do something nice for someone. I work at a job where I do that all the time. So I still get angry but I don't let it fester. I hope this really isn't you having the anger issues.

Hi Zandi! what's wrong? Did any one tell you something to hurt you? Or did I do anything silly? You seem to have been a lot upset and I smell fish in the corner. Please collect your =self and be as you were before.

all of us have the right to be angry but of course we should be careful coz sometimes anger could overcome us. but youre right anger can affect a lot of aspects in us. our decisions, our relationships, even the way we speak to others is affected.

yes you are right. anger take our everything away. so being angry is not good it always give out negetive environment.