Do you sometimes wish you could upgrade or trade off some of your family members

Girl...were we sisters in another life? LOL I was just thinking, after getting off the phone with my mother that I needed to try and find a place to trade her for a different one. You know, one that didn't want to run my life even though I'm 42 years old? Or one that doesn't text me every morning to read the obituaries out of the paper to me and get angry when I don't know everyone that she does. Or one that could be in the same room with me for 5 minutes without telling me that my hair was too frizzy and I should think about conditioner and why wasn't I wearing a slip with that skirt because she could see my legs when I walked (?) and I shouldn't allow Kristen (my 19 year old daughter) to stay out that late on a night when she had school the next morning. I need to go into my closet and pray....or scream!

I would start with the ones who I don't like the most..I know you are not supposed to not like your relatives but they are a bunch of selfish, unbearable people. My aunts are a bunch of lying vultures who can't wait for people to die to have a flea market situation in the house to divide the person's things. They tried that when my mother passed away in 2006 and I had to get each and every one of them straight that my mother's things were mine and they weren't to touch them. their children all believe they are better than everyone else and are just a bunch of snobby idiots. One had decided to go and get a bunch of plastic surgery and now you can't tell her she isn't the next top model or something. The other one is living like a true bum and you really can't even have a conversation with her without it being about her kid's father and how lousy he is. Then there is my uncles. They are all a bunch of philandering pervs who like to come to family functions and tell the grown girls how much they have 'grown' while staring at you like a fat kid at a wedding cake. That's just my mother's side of the family. My father's side are a bunch of gambling addicts who would sell their children off to hit the casino. They have no concept of proper parenting but want to try to discipline other people's kids. My stepmother's relatives are just all stuck-up and I wish I could just strap them to a rocket and send them to a planet.

Heh, everyone has certain family members that they wish that they could trade off. Heck, if I'm being honest there are certain times when I wish I could pawn off my entire family. But then.... no one's family is perfect. It's these frustrations and annoyances which make a family just that - a family.