Help! I don't know what to do about my husband's stealing

Why you husband would change to has this behavior? Do you ask him about that? I sense something's wrong with your husband, he may be too stressful in his work. Talk to him and tell him it is extremely wrong to steal things. You two are adults and you should teach your son learn what is wrong and what is right. At this moment, if you don't teach your son how wrong his father is, I think you may not have a proper chance to teach your son behave normal again when he may has used to this habit later. If you just hope your husband will not be caught and won't go to jail, you are cheating yourself, you wait for this thing happens if you still wait here and think what you should do. Talk to him. Ask him don't do that anymore. You said he is a stubborn man, you must stand your ground and don't give up hope to persuade your husband that he is wrong and promise not doing this again. If problems still can't be solved, I think you're better let him see some physco therapist, I think he may be suffering some mental health problem. Hope you will be well very soon.

I'm afraid that you have to take a firm line. You have to make it crystal clear to him that shoplifting is a crime and that, sooner or later, he will be detected. It is also, as you point out, bad parenting to show an eight year old that sort of practice. He probably thinks that it's clever or smart and is patting himself on the back every time he comes away with something he hasn't paid for. Even worse, he is probably encouraging his son to celebrate with him and say "Yeah, dad! You did it again!" (even if in not so many words). People who habitually steal small things are not acting rationally. There are many reasons why they do it and none are because they really need the things they take and can't afford them. There are two kinds of people. Those who do it consciously (as I suspect your husband does) and those who do it unconsciously. A few of the latter are genuinely forgetful but many of them are sick. The problem is that the conscious kind (who sometimes does it for the excitement of the risk and sometimes from some kind of imagined grudge against the store) can become the unconscious kind because the misbehaviour is pushed to the back of their mind by their moral sense. Perhaps the way to go is through your son. An eight year old is very able to know right from wrong and is often the strongest upholder of what he has been taught is right. Don't, of course, set him specifically against your husband or make him afraid of the consequences but make sure that he knows generally that stealing is wrong and especially why it can hurt other people. Teach him, too, that everybody has many good points and some weak ones and that we should judge people as a whole and try to help them with their weaknesses. Of course, avoid using your husband as an example. Let your son make the connection on his own. Once he knows WHY it is not clever, he will begin to be critical of his Dad's behaviour (rather than to disrespect his Dad generally). Don't mention (or at least, don't stress) that his Dad could go to prison: that would only make him fearful and, in your husband's case, would probably not make a strong argument - he must know that already but the excitement of getting away with it is, at the moment, stronger than the reality of getting caught. I hope that helps and that you will be able to overcome your anxiety and that your husband will overcome this 'habit' - and his stubbornness. Many of the problems involved in this situation seem to have strong emotional roots. There is a very easily learned technique for dealing with many problems of this kind and I would encourage you to learn more about it, even if you cannot at first see how it might help: http://www.emofree.com/a/?3252 (It is completely free and without strings, by the way, and can be easily learned and applied in an hour or so. The 'inventor' of the technique, Gary Craig, encourages us to try it on everything, which is why I hope you may find it useful!)

I agree with the first poster that said you need to stand firm with him. He needs to know that you do NOT agree with his behavior and that shoplifting is a huge crime that can send him to jail. If he goes to jail, you and your son will suffer because you are out of work and you two will not be able to survive. If you need to, really play the guilt card. Let him know how terrible it will really be if that sort of thing happens.

If your husband is choosing to steal, that is a bad thing, but he is a grown man and it is his decision. What shocks me is that he is teaching your son that this is ok. This is very, very bad. Your son will go through life thinking that if things get tough, hey, there's always stealing. I know things are hard and it must be exhausting living off just one income but this just isn't the answer. You have to figure out other ways to save money. The money situation can pass, but bad habits that are being instilled in your son will last forever and I'm sure as a mother you don't want to see him going down the wrong path.

You stated that you have tried talking to him about this several times, what has he got to say? Actually, for one thing, you can't do anything about it at all because as you said you are jobless, so the authority of what should be done doesn't fall on your hands right now. I guess what you can do right now is strive better to look for a job at the same time try talking to him about your worries. People are indeed desperate and people who owns businesses too are desperate to track down thieves. You know what I mean?

This is really a severe problem,for it does have effects on your son.Maybe it is very difficult to change your husband,but try to change your son.You have to konw that parents are very importent in a child's growing process.If you do not let your son stay with your hasband maybe ,it is a better chioce.And you have to comuunicate with your son frequently,educate him oftenly.This is really very importent for your son.If your son is not well educated,he is likely to do crime which definitly will let you down.

wow, that seems like a hard issue to deal with. i would not know what to do either. you are doing the right thing in trying to talk to him about it. but he is a grown man and there really isn't too much you can to. if you are home, do not let him take your son to the store with him. you will have to put your foot down on this. tell him that you can not make him stop what he is doing, but you don't have to let your son be a part of it. your son would freak out if he saw your husband get into trouble over this. also, if he is stealing food. then don't eat it. don't let your son either. if you use the stuff he is stealing, then he will continue to think it is alright. if he stole it, then don't use it under no circumstances. then he will know for sure that you serious and you do not condone his behavior at all i hope that this helps you out

Unfortionatly when people are not well off financially the temptation to steal becomes more than some can handle. I would never say that it is right, but I have seen many people that had to resort to this and I felt that it would be almost wrong of me to actually turn them in because of their situation. What happens happens in terms of getting caught. I'm the type of person that I was at a 1 a bag sale once and they had shoes priced individually from the bag sale. It was rediculious how much they were asking for a used pair of shoes! My cousin pointed out that if I put the in the bag anyhow I'd still be paying for them, just at a discounted rate. I followed her logic and put the shoes in the bottom of my bag and threw some other stuff on top of them and checked out. I got away with it, but I felt sick the entire drive home about it. I looked over my shoulder every time I heard police sirens, so sure that they were coming after me! Haha. I ended up calling my grandma and telling her what I did, and she went back to the place and gave them the amount that the shoes were worth. She didn't want me to have to deal with dirty looks and lectoring from the people when I had pretty much paid for my 'sins' enough! Haha. Anyhow, I don't think that it is right of your husband to do this around your son. You can't really stop him from what he is doing, not really, but you can stop him from doing it around your son. I would explain to him that even if he somehow feels this is okay behavior that it isn't right for a young child to see that and maybe he might get a little bolder seeing his daddy get away with the little stuff. Also, if your husband got caught while your sone was with him that could spell more trouble with a capitol T!!