My Moms Needs Help!

Distance and time heal all wounds.

Tell her in a positive way-like she is too good to be pushed around and you want to see her do something about instead of talk about it and take it from her sister. Tell her you know she's stronger than that and put a lot of confidence in her (even if it's false) that she can tell her sister what is going on and to start taking control of her own decisions again. Praise her as a mother and how good she was to you and how she taught you the same stuff when you were young and how you can't bear anymore to see her go through this. good luck!

Hate to say it but in this situation your probably going to have to take the bull by the horns and just tell her outright how you feel. You can do it in a nice way but your probably going to have to be plain about it. Something like "I know your having a hard time there and I told you it wasn't going to work, but there isn't much I can do from here". If she keeps on then your going to have to tell her outright that she's the only one that can change it. I've been dealing with a simular situation with my Mom. She has problems with certain ones that live with her, but she can't or won't change the situation. I let her call and vent b/c I know she needs it...and it mostly goes in one ear and out the other. I also tell her that until she makes changes there's nothing I can do to help her other than lend a shoulder. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

Just talk to her and tell her how you feel. My kids tell me when they disagree with me or if I am getting on their nerves. I don't always like it but I'd rather them be honest with me than to feel like they had to avoid me. You don't have to be mean about it....just gently tell her that it is putting you in a bad mood when you have to listen to her everyday because you love her and hate that she is getting treated so badly.

Hi, AcousticSoul!! I am sorry that your mom won't listen to you anad take your advice to just do the right thing.. Maybe you should have a talk with her and tell her that you don't want to be her doormat anymore. You want her to move back home and take care of herself. She should be more concerned about how she is being treated by her other relatives. I hope that she realizes that you love her and want what is best for her.. I hope that she will come to her senses about her family. They are doing her wrong, and she should not put up with it!

You should suggest that your mom move and let her sister's family take care of her since they're treating her so badly. If she chooses to stay than she's deriving some emotional satisfaction from being a martyr. I have an ex-mother-in-law who is like that. She suffers...she waits on everyone at a family gathering, insisting that they eat yet she won't sit down to eat even though half the family would be begging her to. No, she would wait, insist that someone have the last piece of pie or the last piece of chicken...insisting that she didn't like pie or chicken anyway. You get the idea. It used to irritate me so much...her standing at attention incase someone needed something as if we couldn't get a drink of water by ourselves. Finally, I accepted that she loved the attention and the admiration that her suffering provided her. If your mother is truly unhappy than she needs to move. If she refuses then maybe you can convince her to talk to a professoinal about her situation...to help her deal with it better. Let a psychiatrist see if she has other issues that need to be addressed. Meanwhile, don't answer the phone if you're not in the mood to listen. No one says you have to answer every call. Hang in there.

You know the older one gets more emotional they become as we tend to brood over the past and our blood realtions alot. I also get all emotional when I think of my relatives. my mom and her mom were the same. You can not tell her anything but may be ask her to take a break for few days and bring her over , treat her as she is supposed to be and then if she can realise ask her to move back and if she still wants to go and live with her blood relations , let her but just ask her out from time to time that way she will get her much needed break from the mundane routine too.