What you will do if your friend borrow money from you?
By jiuandrea
@jiuandrea (62)
China
March 12, 2009 2:58am CST
once money jioned the relationship in friends, the relationship sometimes become very complex, and sometimes it will break up, sometimes it will make people commit a crime.i think it's very hard to do this relationship well, if you don't borrow money to your friend, she or he will think you are not their friend, or they will hate you.but if you borrow the money to them, you cannot say anything if they don't return. recently one thing happened in our department, one sectery borrowed many managers' money, and the amount is very big.but one day, this sectery disappered suddently.those managers can do nothing about this.they cannot contact her and she rent the house outside.so she lost contact.how will you do, my lotting friends?
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17 responses
@pauline08 (101)
• China
13 Mar 09
I think people in different cultures will give different answer. Most western people have the contract concept. But for eastern nations, the people may borrow monney withtout a formal contract, sometimes just a verbal promise that will not be abided by. Especially for Chineses, the face philosophy has important effect on this kind of matter.
I think you can consider a formal contract when friends borrow money from you, in written paper, or a due bill.
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
that's ture, many chinese think the face is very important, so sometimes they won't ask for the loan receipt.for me, if somebody who want to borrow money from me, i will let me give me a receipt.
@Braveheartok103 (380)
• China
13 Mar 09
If he or she really needs the money for urgency, I will lend him or her with the limited amount;
If he or she does not needs the money in a hurry, I will consider whether I should lend him or her. If I lend , we should aggree a due bill.
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
yes, even your best friends, even your relatives, i think there should be a receipt for a loan between each other.
@gayathrigs (871)
• India
13 Mar 09
Its ok if my friend has a genuine problem when he borrows money and is trustworthy in returning it back. else, i feel that he is not a real friend and not only that hatred and dis-interest develop soon on that person. I dont like giving money to friends for silly reasons. I like people who spend genuinely and not those people who try to waste others money.
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
13 Mar 09
I do not borrow or lend money to my friends, but among relatives, in urgent cases, say, arranging down payment for housing, we sometimes do. In such cases, we leave a slip of paper, and will return in time. But from my point of view, I do not keep concerning about it, taking it as a sign of goodwill to assist. We are of one family, and usually it is not beyond my peaceful living, I would take a sort of spiritual insurance for my life, in the worst case, of course. Funny, isn't?
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
yes for my family, eg, my brothers ,or my husband's brothers, if they need money, we will try our best to lend money to them.for other friends, we will consider about it.
@elysium (169)
• United States
13 Mar 09
It depends on the friend and how much money they are borrowing. Your friend will not think that you are not their friend or hate you if you do not let them borrow money from you. Those type of friends are not friends at all. Anyways, I will only let my close friends borrow money from me, as long as it is a small amount. If I believe that the money is a big amount, then I tell them that I will not let them borrow it.
Anyways, your managers should report that secretary to the police. She should not scam people of their money. I hope your managers will be able to find her and get their money back.
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
yes, i agree with you that that kind of people are not our friends at all.
@noobfc123 (17)
• United States
13 Mar 09
If it's a small amount of money, I would not mind if he did not return money but if it was a big amount, I would make sure he returns it.
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@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Mar 09
I will not loan or barrow from my friends. First it is embarrasing to let them know you are far enough in the hole that you have to ask them for money. And secondly when you start to let people barrow from you there is alway going to be one or two that are not responsible and I don't want to let this cause a rift in the friendship. I can't do that.
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@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Well, i lent money to some of my friends wayback in high school but they never paid back.. you know, it was really annoying and yes, it was one of the reasons why i don't talk to some of them anymore.. i consider them as "users".. they are just around when they need something from me but when i'm the one who is need, it seems like they don't have time for me and they are preoccupied with other things.. yay!!!
@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
yeh,i don't like those kind of friends too.and we can say they're not our friends,they just request not return.
@shalli17here (627)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 09
that's the hardest risk in borrowing our money to someone, eventhough its our own friends. i rarely borrowing my money to people unless its my family or the ones that i really trust they will return it. im not asking though, but if they dont return it back to me n dissapear just like that secretary, i would be angry but also will think that its a bad luck, will just take it as a lesson.
also, im hardly to borrowing money to my friends coz i dont wanna ruin the friendship, i'd rather give them some of money to help them sincerely. its better for me.
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@May2k8 (18352)
• Indonesia
12 Mar 09
This can break your friendship, don't borrow the money to them. Once you borrow the money and give it to them, you'll lose your money. You will think that is not your friend if your money at her/him not return. I will never borrow the money from my friend, and i don't give my money to them. I don't want lose my friendship because of money.
@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
me too.money, money, break the friendship.unless you think the money you don't care.
@Nancy312 (282)
• China
13 Mar 09
Hello,Andrea.
Generally,for me,it depends on which kinds of friends they belong to.If they are my good friends and indeed have something hard to get through,and i know that they will return back to me.But i never borrow money to those whom i don't trust at all.
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
right, we all hope our good friends can be trusted. one thing that we cannot expect is that your good friends don't return money.that's very sad for us.
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
Sad to say what that secretary did to your manager was really bad. What she sow, she will also reap. If she think that she can get away with it, she won't be soon. I had read the same story before but they are not friends, just regular office mates and then when this co office mate resigned,she did not return the money she borrowed. The address she gave was wrong address and they can't trace her or call her anymore.
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
yes, first she let all her office mates to believe her, then she will ask to borrow money.then she left.what she did was seemed to be arranged in advance.that's very terrible to have this kind of office mate.
@gxyywhyzy (450)
• China
13 Mar 09
It's a really hard time when lentting money to my friends.sometimes i always tell him give back to me quckly,but it's of no use talking with him.so i won't agree to lend him money next time. so we must know what is really a friend.
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
yes, for those people who don't want to return money, we must set ourselves against lending money to them.for me i don't want to make friends any more.
@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
and if you don't lend, it also can break the friendship.for me i also choose don't lend money to them.
@mjmlagat (3170)
• Philippines
20 Jul 09
hello there! before deciding whether to let that friend borrow money from me or not, i still have to determine whether he/she is a paying friend or not. it would be difficult to let him/her borrow money if she behaves the other way around..i don't know how to ask the money back from the friend, just in case.
@vishwaskg (514)
• India
12 Mar 09
Hi there ,
Its best that we dont have money relationships with friends,as it will prove disastrous like those of the managers.
Well if anything like that happened to me i would try to avoid giving money ,but if the friend is too persistent on that ,i would give only a small amount,such that it would not bother me ,even though i loose that amount .
All in all its best to avoid such kind of friends .
Cheers
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@jiuandrea (62)
• China
13 Mar 09
yes, sometimes we want to avoid, but it ofen happen, so it's very difficult to do.
@JBachman (36)
• Canada
12 Mar 09
Generally, it's always a bad idea to lend, or borrow money from friends. ESP if they are not business friends but entirelly personal friends
basically don't borrow money from your friends , or lend it to them if you can't deal with stress and awkard situations
I'll do it sometimes but I know it's kinda stressful
i probably won't mix money and friends though unless I'm in a band or something
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