Abusive Relationships !

I personally have not been in a really bad, abusive relationship, however, I have a family member that was. She finally got out when he beat her bad enough to send her to the hospital. He also contemplated whether or not he should kill her or let her go to the hospital. She convinced him that she would not call the police on him so he would let her go. She did call the police. This was in October of 2008 and they are still going to court over it. There is a lot involved since they have 2 children together. I am glad she got out, but he is a bad guy and my not ever leaver her alone. I worry, as well as the rest of the family, that he may kill her one day because she finally left him. Men like him do not change. He was abusive to his other girlfriends, abusive to her, and will continue to be abusive to any other woman he is with. It is a shame and men like that should be left alone at the very first sign of abuse. Like Tina Turner said, "What's love got to do with it?" -- No matter how much you love a man, you should love yourself more and if children are involved, get out for their sake. It hurts them much more to see their mom beat up and crying than it hurts the mom. Get out for yourself, and your children.

I have been in the past long ago and it did take me awhile to leave. This is just something that Rihanna will have to do on her own. People need to just let her know that they will be there to support her and help her to leave but to site there and keep pushing and pushing will not help things. She has to make the choice on her own and hope that she does before it gets any worse. What made me leave my ex-bf was that he beat me pretty bad and the cops came and everything, then his mom and family said you know you will be back in the morning with him. That is when I told myself no I cant keep doing it and I proved them all wrong.

H[i]i Chevee, I was able to read magazines about this and wish Chris will never do this again.... I am not in the same situation, luckily...My husband is very caring and loving, we have arguments for sure but never had even a single pinch from him... I talked with several friends who experienced the same and most of them prefer to stay in the relationship![/i]

I think in Rihanna case, she sees something in Chris Brown only she knows that make her want to take him back. Big mistake, girl! I have been in an abusive relationship for so long that I have changed from a normal behavior person to a person who is prone to depression and stress. Even though I am suffering from this relationship but deep inside me, I am still hoping that one day he will changed. He did changed from being physically abusive to only verbally abusive. I think over time, people do change their attitude especially when they started to grow old. However, my advice to all those in an abusive relationship to move on. There are a lot of good people out there, all you have to do is find him.

yes , i was & believe me they "do not" change ni matter how often u let them come back, no matter whet they promise or no matter how hard u try.

I personally have never been in an abusive relationship. But I have witness it at first hand. a few years back my friend was married to this man, he was very controlling. If she wanted to go out he had to know with whom, where she'd be and what time she'd be back... at first she thought he was being caring but later realized that he was just being obsessed. If she was late he would hit her. Sometimes he wouldn't believe her when she said she was going to meet some old friends. he even hired a private eye to follow her. So she spent many nights at my house. her family and us (her friends) all advise her to leave him. But she refused she kept telling us that he loved her and he only hits her cause he cares about her. But she finally left him when he hit their child.

Yes I sure have, one of the worst kinds. It was during a time when I thought very low of myself and thought I deserved it. It took some counseling to get myself to realize that it wasn't my fault nor did I deserve it. I made a vow to never ever again will I let a man abuse me for ANY reason and I haven't.

Chevee, it's hard to admit that I was, in fact. I don't have a bone that hasn't been broken, and my right eye was blackened so often it's sort of permanently that way. I suspect Rihanna thought as I used to - that she deserved it or in some way made it happen. It took lots of therapy and my best friend (currently my husband) to help me find myself. It could never happen again, because I'm not that victim person anymore. I pray for the same for that talented, beautiful young woman.

Yep. My marriage to my ex lasted just a few months short of 22 years. I tried to leave/divorce him two previous times. But like a fool I always took him back. I had stupid reasons too. I did it "for our son" and because I was afraid of him and his temper. I actually felt I was safer in the relationship than apart. And truthfully I just didn't register how abusive he was until later. Then one day I snapped. As usual he was making fun of me, shoving me and tried to push me down the stairs. I ended up with a bloody nose and was absolutely furious rather than afraid as usual. I had reached my breaking point so I fought back. He was so surprised he went to a neighbor's house and called the cops. LOL Chicken. Cops took one look at my bloody nose and told him if he filed charges on me they would arrest him as well. Now, years later I just don't know what I was afraid of. I have no fear of him or any other man. And I regret all those years I lived in fear listening to his nonsense. Rihanna needs to wake up and realize he won't change. Like Oprah said - Once a hitter, always a hitter.

i have never been ina relationship where i was abused but i watche dmy mom get abused time and time again.... i DO NOT think it is ok.... i understnad rhiana giving hima 2nd chance but i dont think she should be so "ok" with it. it was mentioned that he has done it before just not this bad... why keep going back to a man who hurts you so bad... a man who cheats..yes chances can be given..cause he can change...a man who is abusive... he can change but i wouldnt stick around to wait for that day cause they are far and few between