He gets on my nerves..................

You need to let him know how you feel. He may not even realize that he is rubbing it in. I have often had to tell my husband that his words hurt, he really doesn't realize that some of the things he says might hurt me. He doesn't mean it to hurt he just is clueless. Try talking to him calmly, and if that does not work then offer to let him stay at home with the baby and do all of the things you are doing for free while you go out and make the money.

just try to camly tell him how you feel.. i know it must hurt to have someone look down on you.. luckily my hubby hasnt yet.. i miss working though and might have this new job but if he ocntinues to down grade you you need to let him know how you feel.

I'm in the same boat, so I feel for you. We're not married, but have been living together for two years, and now have a two month old baby together. I stay home with our daughter, and he farms and pays the bills. I too used to work, and contribute to paying the bills, and now I have no income for myself. A part of me wants to work, but another part of me doesn't want to be away from my daughter. We've had several fights over the working situation, and we never seem to resolve anything. His words can hurt a lot, but when I ask him if he wants to stay home with her while I work, his answer is "absolutely not". So what do you do? It's kind of a no win situation. I can't really work a forty hour week and raise our daughter at the same time. It's frustrating not knowing what to do.

You are really gonna have to sit down with him and tell him how you feel about the constant reminders he's passing on your way. Tell him, how it makes you feel. You understand how rough it is to make the money, and see it go right out the door. As he's seeing now. Tell him, that just because he's the breadwinner in the family doesn't mean he has to be a punk about things to you. There are times when my husband makes snide comments about what i did or didn't do while he was at work, and he'd get fired for not having this and that done, thought thankfully, he's gotten a real look at how things run in the house since he's gotten some time off from his job, and he knows now why I don't get things done with two rotten kids running around, tearing everything back out that i just cleaned up. Make it known to your husband that he makes you upset and hurts your feelings. Holding back your feelings about things will only make things worse when they do finally get brought up, talk about things when it happens, so everything is out in the open. I wish you luck, most don't understand what stay at home actually does have on her plate. They think we get to sit on our butts all day long and watch soaps... (very nice dream, but it's so untrue).

I think a reminder of equality would be in order. Try not to be nasty just let him know what he is saying isn't needed and you do your fair share as well. Remind him you can make it on your own as well. You would just prefer to have someone with you.

With my husband if he starts to get out of hand or just becomes down right ugly, I cuss him like a dog and I just become really ugly its best to show your butt first and embrass him first then let him do it to you. I learned to do this because I was married before and he ran all over me and started beating me. Its bested if you go all PMS on him before he has chance to get ugly.

Thank God my husband never said anything like that to me. I would have lost it.... I do know of a woman who actually went on strike. She said once he got a taste of trying to get laundry done while cooking and watching 2 kids he changed his tune....Most men do NOT know how much a woman has to do to keep the home running smoothly. I am surprised that he would do such a thing if he has already had a taste of being the "homemaker". Must have been before you had any children. I guess one reason my husband never said anything was because I went to school 2 nights a week and he was the one who had to see that the kids got feed and in bed as well as doing the clean-up on those nights. I would try to explain to him how his statements make you feel and if that doesn't work find something to do that takes you out of the home and leave some of the work for him to do. Maybe he just needs a little reminder of what has to be done daily. Good Luck Kowgirl

ok. this might be long.lol..when I first got with my guy, I had a lot of money and he was poor!! Now it is 8 years later and I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years, and now we have 3 kids, he still constantly reminds me of how he pays the bills, blah blah blah...I remind him that I have been helping with and even paying all of the bills for the first 5 years of our relationship (I still had some money left when I was at first a stay at home mom) Yet, he doesnt care or get it... Thing is with most males, is that when they didnt used to have money, or didnt have the responsibilties they have now, they tend to rub it into peoples faces as a way of making themself feel proud, and proving to themselves that they are capable...why? As you said the EGO...The MALE EGO is very sensitive... Why do they feel they need to treat us a second class citizens in the process? I dont know...maybe they feel that they finally have something over us, when that shouldnt be the way of thinking in a family and relationship, but who what female has really ever understood why men think or do as they do? Especially as a stay at home mom, it is hard to get respect from other women, let alone a man, who I am sure most of the time thinks it is all flowers and bon bons! I know MY guy would come home and say things look the same as they did when I left this morning, what have you been doing all day? EXCUSE ME? Do you know how much hard work it takes to make it look the same by the time you get home? lol! I think that the best approach might be to just say thank you, kill him with kindness, and see if that eventually starts to work, or just tell him how it makes you feel when he does and says those things.. I am sorry it was so long, but you struck a cord..lol.. =)

Hello Queenperk, the thing about man ego is that they want to be the King of the Castle. We, women are the slaves. Our situation are quite similar where I was the breadwinner for almost 4 years while my husband stay at home and sleep. Worse thing was not only I have to support the family alone, I also have to do the routine housework i.e. cooking, laundry and cleaning etc. And guess what my husband did, he only sleep and if I came home late from overtime, he would demand me to still cook for him dinner. Then the role revised, I stayed home and he works. When he pays the bill or whatever, he will make sure I know how much he spent by writing in details of all the bills payment. He always complaint about how he struggle to make ends meet. What annoyed me most is that I have the same problem when I was the breadwinner and I kept it to myself and try my best to deal with monthly payments. I used to feel depressed about it and feel hopeless because I couldn't help financially. But, I start to fight back saying that he should be the one who bring back the bacon and I am the one who prepare it. I told him it was his duty as the head of the family. Each time he complaints, I just sit and listen without uttering a word. I guess the best is silence treatment.

Well first thing I would like to ask is he always like this? Has he had an ego problem in the past and now it is shining brightly or is this something totally out of character? If it is out of character then ask him about it, he may not even realize he is doing it. Is it possible that since this is your first time staying at home that you are overly sensitive to comments? I mean NO disrespect but I dont know you or the circumstances I just know that sometimes I do that to my husband so please do not get mad at me... If neither of the above applies snap on his azz! lol sometimes the best way to get their attention is to well... get their attention! Good luck! I hope it all works out.

Hi, Queenperk! I am so sorry about your husband's bad ego! If I was you, I would talk to him about it and how it makes you feel. I would give him time to start acting better. And if for a while, he does not, I will have to just seperate from him. He should not throw up in your face, how he is the big man and all. Just because you are not working does not give him the right to make you feel as if your are beneath him. Marriage is supposed to be about partnership and he is doing a very poor job of this! He needs to shape up or get out!

In the nicest way you can, tell him that what he says really bothers you. Remind him that you contribute to the household too, just in a different way. The last time my husband made a comment about him making more than me, (and we do both work outside the home) I reminded him that not so very long ago, I was the only one working and taking care of not only him and the kids, but also two of his brothers and my oldest son's step-brother. I also told him that I do not appreciate him reminding me that he is now in the position where he makes more because I never said things like that to him. He didn't realize that he was coming across the way he was, and once I brought it to his attention, he quickly apopogized.

It does no good "talking" to a man because rarely does a man listen with both his ears AND heart, seriously. I've been married three times and each breakup had to do with their damned ego. The last one was the worse because I not only had to deal with his but his preacher's as well...it wasn't fair. He used to work at home eh? Well...I suppose you could bring to his attention the way you clean the house, cook the meals, take care of the children...etc. Yes, you're an at home mum which means you get no rewards, salary, days off, sick days, bonuses or things like that in your honour but that doesn't mean you have to sit there and take it. A household is managed best by two or more people. Good luck. *Pleiades

Hi the best place to deal with this matter is your bedroom and at the time of ... Understand. First make your hus cool at all time and make him to understand the situation. Dont explain in ordinary way and at odd times. make him feel happy and blow in his ears whatever you want. Lenin http://www.indiainfovision.blogspot.com

It might not be a bad idea for him to see you react to his ego. My husband doesn't typically have an ego, but occasionally something comes out. He says his goal is not to treat me like a submissive little wife who should be under him, but occasionally something happens, AND WHEN IT DOES HE GETS IT....just as I'd get it if I started acting like a little damsel in distress who needed him for every little thing, and couldn't take responsibility for anything. However, I don't have a delicate bone in my body, so he never has to worry. It's like I always say. If you pull the cat's tail, can you blame the cat for scratching you?