can you have the relationship that you want??
By shadzrufo
@shadzrufo (64)
Philippines
March 14, 2009 7:29am CST
relationship can either be the source of quiet a bit of happiness in our lives, or the source of a bit of misery, can you conciously choose your relationships and have control over wether or not they make you happier or fill you with sadness?
sure, you can! wether or not we always realize it, we have a choice in who we decideto interact with and who we want to be in a relationship with at all times. sometimes when you hear someone complaining about their relationships, it will seem as if that person is a victim and that they have no real choice. but, that is not the case....
learn to direct yourself and your life.....
knowing what you really want is the best place to start. far too many people know what they do not want in life and yet they have no real clue as what they hdo want if they could have everything go their way. this is why so many people will feel they have no real choice when it comes to dating or friendship in their life. they feel as though they have to take what they can get....
what do you think??
1 person likes this
8 responses
@nirjaagrey (209)
• India
15 Mar 09
happiness or sadness depends on individual . for ur happiness u need to change ur poit of view & then things will happe the way u wat , nobody is perfect & u can never find a perfect patner . so except the thigs the way they r
@borgborg (821)
• Philippines
15 Mar 09
I believe that you can have the relationship you want. Wherever you are in your relationship, that is a result of the choices you made. Me and borg have rough times, we often fight about small things (though I'm the one starting it!) and sometimes when we fight, we feel like giving up but then at the end of the day, you'll realize you don't see yourself with anybody else other than the one you have right now. What I'm trying to say is that we don't have the perfect relationship but we are happy as it is. We love each other so much and there is no greater feeling than having the person you love, love you the same way back! (I told him that earlier) -cherry
@kpendragon77 (417)
• United States
15 Mar 09
I happen to believe that in any situation we are our own worst enemy. Think about it. When I write a poem or a short story, I always need someone to critique me because every time I read my own work I think it is dreadful. So in some ways, I think it is subconscious. In that respect we sabotage ourselves.
However, you are correct, we can make the choice whether that relationship makes us happy or miserable. Sure there are exceptions such as being with someone who hits you. While it takes two to make it work, it is also up to them as individuals to develop themselves as well as develop the relationship.
Does that make sense?
LivyJ
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
15 Mar 09
Through experience I have found out that one needs to become the type of person they would like to be with too. I strive to be the kind of person someone else would like to be with and I predict that that energy with come back to me one day, I think it is important to be the one to make the effort first for myself and then for my happiness as well.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
14 Mar 09
Welcome to myLot!
Surely those of us who have the joy of great relationships with those we love have discovered that control is not an issue. We humans change constantly, and if we are able to go with that flow, our happiness is enhanced. We are attracted to those who deserve our attraction if we are in balance within ourselves. In a great relationship, the constant change is a source of wonder, not upset, so we are happy...
I know you mean that we control with whom we choose to share our lives, not control one another, and I'm afraid my response sounds as if I mean controling one another or a relationship. I mean it the same way you do, an I believe we attract to us those who are positive in our lives if we are OK within ourselves. I think I've probably done the worst job ever of expressing myself here, but I hope it makes sense to someone beside myself!
@blair_leighton (101)
• Philippines
15 Mar 09
we can always have the relationship that we want provided that everything around you seems to fall into place.. or even if it seems to be like love against the world..
i am dating for two months now and my family doesnt know this..they think im too young to have a relationship but that doesnt keep me from having the relationship that i have right now..so what if they'll know, as long as i know that im still in control and that i am ready to take this kind of responsibility and i know that my boy is the right one..
@elghrasya (501)
• Philippines
14 Mar 09
We can have the relationship that we want if we will be careful in everything. We need not only to think twice but to think a decision many times. Look both side the pros and cons of a decision. We should be aware of the risk and consequence of a certain action. We should not be too much repulsive in doing some thing. We need to understand a lot about love so that we can have a good, smooth and nice flow of relationship.
@pricelis (86)
• United States
14 Mar 09
I believe most of the time we all choose our relationships, we may not be doing a good job of it, but something inside us triggered the desire to start a relationship with that person. Some of us continue making the same mistakes over and over again, by being attracted to exactly what we don't need. I've seen this with my friends so many times, I think its one of the reasons I'm very cautious when it comes to dating. Listening to their horror stories keeps me pre-occupied with their relationships. Until they've truly learned whats inside them that makes them tick, they will just keep choosing the wrong person.
