Is Self Esteem Linked To Beauty?

It is absolutely wrong! Lots of awful guys just show off shamelessly. It turns out that most narcissists are actually ugly! But one thing is sure! If you have more confidence than you are supposed to have, people tend to think you are better than you actually are. To be honest, I get sick of these fancydans. They have nothing to be so proud of! How come they be so brazen? haha Well, in my hometown, we called these people prince disease or princess disease sufferers! I had several friends who were so overconfident! They were so disgusting that I have already ignored them now! Anyway, I hope that you just have more faith in yourself! I have told a thousand times that you really look good!

dear wolfie34 i think that self-esteem is very linked to beauty because our society puts beauty in a high position, it considers beauty as a very important value, and the consequence of it is that those who doesn't feel attractive or not attractive as they would like to be feel to be dispised in thiat scheme of values. if the society consider wisdom or goodness as the highest value , people would not be very interested in being beautiful. i have an issue with self esteem and is concerned with beauty, i allways have been appreciated for my cleverness and other values but not for being beautiful, and recently i felt in love with a man who rejected me for not being beautiful, not only in my physical form but in psychical form too, and as he considers himself both beautiful and charming and besides he is intellectually brilliant too, i felt that, not only i lacked external beauty but internal beauty as well, which had allways been the main support of my self esteem : the result is not only a terrible depression which i carry since i was despised by that man , but a total confussion of what i really am , because all what i believed to be and comforted me about my lacking of external beauty has been denied by someone who is admired and loved by almost any woman who knows him... i feel so bad, so bad and think that it's so unfair this stuff of beauty , that sometimes i think it's no worth to live in a world which can be so cruel...

I really don't know if the answer I am giving is right or not pal, first of all sweetheart I think you know I HATE lies and never tell them soo first can I say I think you are a really nice looking guy, second can I say that when I meet someone it is what is in their heart that I assess, not what they look like, I know gorgeous looking people that are so shallow and so full of themselves, I think you look nice AND you have a gorgeous heart, I know a lot more people who will say the same of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wee xx

Hello my dear Wolfie!!!I have missed you. I think self esteem does have some thing to do with the way you see your self on the outside. I know in my twenties i saw myself as pretty, but I would always date men who I thought were less attractive than me because i knew they would treat me better than a man who was full of him self.As I got older I saw my beauty fade and now i just see my outside as old and wrinkly. But, on the inside I am the beautiful and when I am online that part of me shines trough, so i don't need to have beauty on the outside. So I guess online

Hi wolfie! I have not read any books on this matter but from personal experience I say it is looks that are dependent on self esteem. If you feel good it shows on your face not the other way round surely? If things are going good and I'm happy about what life is giving me then I bear a smile and a smile makes me look good (well better anyway). If I look good but am not proud of myself and what I'm doing then that will show through and make me look sad and depressed. Remember too that you might look good to one person but not to another so as long as you feel good with yourself, that is what matters. Take care friend! Hugzzz! xxx

It has got nothing to do with beauty get out of the house more.Try new things.What you have to remember that most people have some sort of problem and you are normal the trick is not to let it worry you.Anything can help with esteem you can read all the books in the world but if you don't get out and mix it won't do you anygood,unless you meet another book worm.You have the right to move about without anybody saying anything or hurting you,so use that right,treat yourself to a film.Go out and buy yourself a big mac not that I would recommend junk food on a regular basis but I think you need to treat yourself you are a nice person so get out there make it someone elses problem not yours.If you get compliment be pleased and say thankyou only listen to the nice bits of life and ignore the rest.take carexxx.

Though attractiveness is a factor in boosting the self esteem it is not the only thing that bolsters self esteem.Self esteem is the result of a person's confidence level in his capabilities and skills.I have come across many attractive(!) people who are so lively intelligent and interesting to spend time with the thought of their physical attractiveness never crossed my mind.

I used to have a real issue with low self esteem. At the time I thought I was ugly and no-one would ever love me. Even when we were first married I couldn't believe Mr Croc really wanted me for who I was. Luckily Mr Croc convinced me that nothing was all about looks, he thought I was lovely inside and out, so he told me and it helped to boost my self esteem. I still cringe at photos and hate having them taken but now know that I am who I am and those that don't like me can go away. It took a long time to get to this stage but with loving help in can happen. I still dismiss compliments and sometimes take criticism to heart but I think that's part of being English and nothing to do with self esteem. You come across as a very caring person and that will show through to people who meet you. Take care and think positive.

For me it is more in personality than look. I know many gorgeous people and many with an average look. It is in personality to have low self esteem. Attractiveness is in the whole package, so is self esteem.

While self esteem is not the same as confidence... You need to have confidence in yourself to have self esteem. Beauty only helps boosting that self esteem. And when you have too much self esteem... they call you "arrogant". lol Plenty of beautiful women have no self esteem and no confidence. Marilyn Monroe was one of them. It is a pretty common problem in show business. Their looks make them famous. But the confidence they show on screen is just an act. A great number of actors and music artists are actually very shy. While beauty gives you a boost while you are young... there is a price to pay as you get older. By nature... we do not like losing what we have. And watching our beauty disappear as we get older is something hard to cope with.

I know people that are extremely attractive but have no self-esteem, they feel they have to look perfect because no one will like them if they aren't. They are a product of our society. I agree that my self-esteem would be better if I weighed less and I am working on that, but while no one has ever accused me of being ego-centric they also know that I am smart and if I state some facts that 99% of the time, they are right. I am a compulsive reader and I can't help that I know a lot of crap about a lot of subject. I do not flaunt what i know, but I don't hide it either. My self-esteem is pretty good I have a job where I do something good but it is not appreciated by society - or I would get paid a living wage

my darling little brother I wish I could wave a magic wand and make you realise how wonderful , gorgeous and just downright perfect (well as close as can be) that you really are! I guess that self esteem is affected by different things in all of us. For some people it is the way they look, for others their ability in any given area, education, music, friendships, employment, parenting skills etc and in others it is probably their mental or physical health that brings their self-esteem down. I know that telling you you look fantastic won't make you believe it but I hope that you manage to build up your self esteem and use whatever you need to do that be it books, therapy, writing whatever! Love you xxx

Personally, I think self-esteem and confidence are linked. You can't be confident if you feel you're worthless. However, you can esteem yourself in certain areas of your life and not others. For example, you may be very confident in your career, but feel absolutely despondent about your looks. Do you have low self-esteem? Yes, in regard to your looks, no in regard to your career. When estimating total self-esteem, add up how many attributes you're confident about and how many you're not and then weight them based on which is more important to you. That said, it would be impossible to say that self-esteem is SOLELY based on looks. You can have a very confident ugly person. And you can have a very insecure attractive person. One of the problems in linking self-esteem to looks is that looks are so subjective. One person's hottie is another person's dog. Look around you, do you agree with all your friends about who they find attractive? There are certain people who seem to be attractive to a majority of us, but trust me, there are people for whom they do nothing. Even Grace Kelly had detractors. Self-esteem being tied to your looks is a personal decision. It's a choice you make. You choose to look in the mirror and make that the sum total of your worth. It's a dangerous thing to do. Looks are temporary, even by human standards. Nobody looks the same at 15, 25, 35, 45, etc. Looks are judged by the time period in which we live. What was attractive in the 1800s isn't what's in now and what's in now won't be 100 years from now. Looks come and go and like the saying says, are only skin deep. Does it matter to people what you look like? Oh yeah! Attractive people have easier lives, by far than their less attractive counterparts. Studies have shown over and over that being attractive gets you more perks in life. But again, the question becomes, attractive to whom? Haven't you ever noticed that your opinion of someone's attractiveness changes the more you get to know them? Beautiful people aren't always physically beautiful. Self-esteem is a ghost, it's an abstract concept that we all feel, but it's hard to pin down. When valuing ourselves, it would probably be better if we used a softer lens rather than a hard one. If you want to improve how you feel about yourself, make the choice. It's not easy, it's not fun, but in the end, the only person you'll have to impress is yourself.

I think the only way your attractiveness affects your self-esteem is if you are not happy with your looks. If attractiveness is something that you think is essential in a person, then the chances are that you will not measure up to your ideal- whatever you look like. Do you judge people on their physical looks or as a person? Would you prefer to be with someone who was beautiful and mean, or someone average-looking and with a wonderful personality? I know which I would prefer. I would be horrified if someone was only interested in me because of my looks - I would think they were a very shallow person.

Self esteem and self perception are two difeerent things but yet realted to eacch other somewhat. Its not necessary that if a person is beautiful he will have a jhigh self esteem too. I have a friend who is slim, tall, fair and beautiful but her self esteem is so low that if someone says that her dres is not suiting her she starts crying. Before every social gathering she has to go to the parlour to get her face and hair done I will say she has a very low self esteem.She sees herself through the eyes of others. SO you can not just genralise this thing it depends from person to person. We have a very famous now retired lady cop, Kiran Bedi, she is in no way beautiful as defined by the beauty experts but she has a very high self esteem and she is a source of strength to many women in our country.

Self Esteem is how one precieved one's self. Beauty has nothing to do with it.. People that 'like' themself are often seen as beautiful by those around them. I have a friend that was badly burned.. looks like a monster to some but when you look her in the eyes you feel a warmth that makes her beautiful. I find that people that stop focusing on themselves.. spend time helping others seem to have better self esteem It's when you stop thinking and judging yourself.. keep busy..feel good about what you do for others.. that you shine. Big Hugs Doll xoxoxoxoxoxo

This is a very good question that I have pondered for years. I noticed that people with self esteem come in all looks, so it's definitely not beauty based. The only common characteristic I have found that all people with high self esteem have is superb health and strength. I have noticed that anyone with high self esteem always seems to be super energetic, strong, and healthy.

its about being happy to yourself. Think that you are unique, you are special and you are beautiful. I had a problem with that too but i really have good improvemennts now. i feel proud of how i look , even of my imperfections too. A lot of women have a problem with this, especially when no one around them remind how beautiful and nice they are. Maybe we can find support with our close friends, family of course, relatives and reading self help books about self esteem can help. happy mylotting!

I do think that self esteem and attractiveness are link Wolfie, but not one is not totally the other. Self esteem to me is measuring self worth. Kind of like you feel you have nothing to offer. This might be because of apperance or it could be because of personality, feeling unloved and unable to love. I think self esteem is more of a total package of issues to work on. The example you give about the ugly and attractive guys. What makes one over the other? I think that beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. Yes there are attractive people out there, but they are empty or very ugly on the inside. I would think any relationship with a person like that would be difficult if not one sided. As for the "ugly" guy having high self esteem, well, then I would think that he has a realization of himself both in his good and bad habits. You know it's a person saying this is me, like it or not. Those kinds of people do have more confidence because they're not trying to be something they're not. They are just themselves. I do think that our self esteem does take a beating now and then. Either through what society deams as "beauty" or because we find more fault in ourselves than there is really there to worry about. Can books help? I think so, but what I really think helps people the most is finding their own self worth. Books will help you, but knowing what you're looking for and striving to get it will lead you down that path more than a series of self help books on general topics. Wolfie, don't let the past relationships you've had determine who you are today. Heal, get to know yourself again. Once you like who you are, others will too.

personally I aint an oil painting lol, but I am me and if people dont like it thats their problems. So no self esteem is nothing to do with looks its to do with what you feel inside that counts. If you are happy and positive then I think confidence and self esteem flow from being happy and being positive. And nah dont think books help, as if you aint confident etc than look inside yourself only you can make the change as its burning inside you. sorry for the long winded speech lol,