Can you always pick yourself back up?

Hi tlb0822,I can see you are depressed right now,it's really a hard time for many peoples during this recession period,many labour force have been laid off,less open positions,we are all in a bad situation right now.when people face difficulties they also blame the others to release themselves,that's because we are human beings,many do this too.just forget how they judged you and keep positive,their judgement means nothing to you now,the point is you love your fiance and your fiance love you back,you stay together and struggle for yourselves,I am sure we can all get over this and everthing will be ok. really hope my words could help a little,good luck

Well, I will not try to make this long winded. But, I want to tell you something and maybe this might help you out! If it does not then sorry. When I was married to my first husband his mom always made me feel like I was nothing but a incubator for his children. We have two wonderful kids. Anyways, so I always felt really bad. And, I could not find a job at all that worked with the kids schedules. So, then I was useless. So, I stayed like that for a long while. Feeling useless! Down! Then, after my divorce and I was on my own with two kids I still felt that way. But, then I met My guy! He was great and makes me feel great! No matter what I can't do, he points out what good things I can do! Even if it is only that I can make him laugh that day then I did a great job and was great that day! Every little good thing is a great thing he says. And, don't you ever listen to what people say about the bad things. I you make someone happy that day then, you are fine. And, you know everything worth having is worth fighting for! All couples have up's and down's but the best couple's are the one's that can take the up's and down's and just enjoy the ride. Knowing at the end what ever happens they have each other to support and be there for them! Because, that is what love is all about! Any couple that has no problem's miss some of the most adventures parts! **Peace and Love get's you through everything in Life** P.S. Just remember the bad thing's are easier to believe but don't do it! Just remember only the good things!!!!

I think you should think again about your marriage with your fiance. As whole life you don't have to just live with your husband alone family members are more important after marriage. If you have committed mistakes and its still in their mind then i suggest don't go ahead MAYBE in future you might suffer due to this. I did had many such times in my married life and things were worst at times, somehow came out of it. It has left impressions of it in others mind but being a man i don't have to answer anyone or no one can tell me anything. But for girls it becomes a tough time to go ahead with such situations or to handle it. So you better need to have a thought over it completely form every point to lead a happy married life. Else remember time is never going to come back fro any one and you wont be able to change anything.

You can always pick yourself up. What is difficult is getting rid of the bad feelings that come with serious disappointments. A judgemental family only makes it worse. They never blame themselves and everyone else or someone else is always the wrong one. Try to ignore them and concentrate on your love relationship. In the end you'll pull through.

hi tlb. I know how you feel about these things. I'm at it right now. I am at the point where I have to decide whether or not to hold onto a relationship that is going downhill. As most people know, online relationshp is hard to keep. I had been trying to keep it so for 2 years. His promised visits never came through. there are more excuses than the talks that we have for the past a year and a half but he said he doesn't want to lose me ever. But right now, he got laid off and things had worsen. The last text msg he sent was an abrupt msg saying he went back to school and have a new job so he can't talk to me. that was a few days ago. I don't think his family liked me cuz I'm an asian, he's an american. I don't want to lose him either but I'm at point where all my patience and understanding are about to get burnt out. I believe in faithfulness no matter what form of relationship it is, like mine. and to tell the truth he's my first love lol. Right now I don't know what to decide or how top pick myself up... Right now, my outlet to take my mind off disappointments is to keep myself busy like work, going to the gym, trying to read fantasy novels lol (I'm avoiding romantic novels right now), watching online comedy and volunteering to help children at the urban poor areas every Saturdays. I am trying to think more positively cuz it might get the a good result on my dwindling relationship. That maybe one day he'll realize I'm worth making sacrifices for and not excuses. Maybe you could try to do some productive things like trying to earn online and then looking for a job. it might be part time or full time. I know right now, it's hard to find a job but don't give up. In this way, your fiance's family will realize that they had made a mistake in misjudging you. I'm gonna try too with my bf's family and everyday, no matter how gloomy the prospects are, smile... smiling can take a bit of the burden off from your shoulders. And be more positive. I've been praying for the recovery of US from this crisis and I hope it lifts soon... Be including you in my prayers too... Show em what you're made of girl!

If you are 'honestly' honest with whatever you do, the disappointment level will definitely reduce, that's the way I feel. We all go through bad times and as ordinary mortals we tend to be depressed and disappointed, that is quite natural. When we don't see any immediate solution we have to leave them to time, the great healer. And mind it the solutions lie in ourselves only whereas we keep looking outside!

Even in bad times, you have to look for that light at the end of the tunnel. That light might seem like it's getting further and further away when you look at it, at least it's there. The next step is to ignore his family, when things go bad, it's so easy for family members to blame their loved ones better half. To me that shows their true colors, your fiance needs to step up and tell them. Hey, we both lost our jobs and we are trying to find a new one. Until then, stay off her back. So, ignore the negative and look towards the postive. You can look for a new job in your local paper, or on the internet. Maybe this was God's way of saying, that the jobs that you and your fiance had wasn't for you. A couple of years ago, my husband ended up owing the government almost 5 grand. At that time, that was extra money that we needed. On top of that, we had things go wrong. That saying when it rains it pours, had nothing on us. We got to the point where fighting wasn't going to bring money in, so we would just joke that we had this amount in our accounts. If it wasn't for humor, I think I would have killed him.

as long as you work together at problems and be there for each other when times get tuff you'll be o.k.. when times get tuff i go to a park and find a secluded spot watch the ducks, or whatever is around and just suck up nature, it relaxes me just seeing the beauty of the land and park surrounding's. you need to get out and find something you both like and get away from all the drama."it's you and your fiance " not !! you, your fiance, and 'family members'. i hope things work out for you both.

I so understand what you mean. I have been there and it can be hard at times when you feel like there are no answers and no easy fixes. I don't what I can do some of the time but the only thing is to try at any level to make things easier some how. Trying to never really give up hope. I think praying too helps and speaking out about your emotions even if only to God. I think we sometimes need his guidance to help us along. Asking for strength too.

Picking yourself up ca be extrmemly difficult. Especially when it is one thing after another after another going wrong. For me, the key is to change my way of thinking. I have found that more often than not, the things that seemingly go wrong are actually blessings in disguise. They are giving us an opportunity to open another door to success. I have been there, many times, and each time, I feel sorry for myself for a day or two, then, think to myself, "this isn't solving a thing", step back, and look at it all with a clear and positice mind set. I am pretty good at finding the solution that way. As far as always feeling that you are being judged by your mistakes, or for your miscomings in life, it is easier said than done, but you have to shut out any negativity in your own mind. Things will work out for the best in the end, bt the journey there will probably be full of obstacles and setbacks. Have you ever been in a similar situation? If so, look back at hw you handled it and what the outsome was. Learn from the past, and use it to make the choices that are right for you now. It sounds silly, but it really does work!

I hope I can cheer you up. To start things of I will suggest that you keep a cool and calm and collective attitude. I have seen the economy has everyone worried and on edge. I believe everything happens for a reason. I'm sorry for your job loss and your fiance. I believe that God has a plan for each and every one of us. I hope that everything works out. When you see a person being angry at you just simply smile. I always keep a positive attitude and I know everything is going to be just fine. The economy will bounce back. If you recall the outrageous gas prices last year 4.00+ a gas of gallon, look where are the gas prices today, they are 1.85 where I live.

Oh my God do I know where you are coming from. I have been in this position many a time. In fact, one of my most favorite sayings right now is this: "Why do we fall down? So that we can learn to pick ourselves back up." There are times when, like you, I feel that we will not be able to pick ourselves back up. Just before I hit that bottomless pit of defeat, I make myself angry. I get angry at the fact that I even doubt myself or my husband. This, in turn, motivates me to work harder and seek out relief. As far as the relatives, I have never let them get to me. They are entitled to their opinion and quite honestly, I could probably write a few best sellers as to the skeletons in their closets. However, the fact that I am able to overcome their stupidity and promote my own determination, makes me better than they will ever be. Therefore, all their comments fly out the window. They may as well be ghosts to me. This economy sucks right now but don't you dare give up my friend. There is a way to pick yourself up. You will find it. It may be difficult but what you learn from it will make you strong. Livy J