Cool... I might be losing my job :(
@handsomeitaliano (1050)
United States
March 15, 2009 12:42am CST
I work as an EMT for a private company in NY. See, when I was taking the course, I wasn't aware that a driver license was required, I was just going to school to be a EMT Emergency Medical Technician.
However I found this out afterward. So once I graduated, I spent three months taking lessons, each one costing a lovely $32 friggin dollars each. Meanwhile I got hired with a learners permit at the company I'm at now. They kept budding me about it but in a nice, playful way. Nevertheless, I wanted to get it over with. So I took lessons from June to end of August. My road test was scheduled for October. However once september hit, I stopped once I found out my best friend whom I known all my life killed himself and it was all over the news, I was completely shattered. So, a month went by without me taking lessons, the road test came and I failed.
I decided to put it off for a while. To make matters worse, earlier this year, my dad started seeing a younger woman and screwing her while mom with dementia was dying on her death bed in a nursing home, this woman is clearly using him and she has recently moved in right after my mom died last month. She's a very bad person who's using her "poker face" on him. So with all this stress, how could I focus? All these deaths in such a close time frame. Not to mention I'm trying to make a short film to get into film business and trying to establish a second income outside of work.
But now my job is really pushing me to get the license by the end of April, they said they'll work with me as long as I show them proof that I am working towards getting the license. They said it doesn't mean I'm gonna drive the ambulance but just in the event that my partner gets hurt or something.
My co-worker the other day let me drive his car from work to my house, I was so scared and nervous, it was the first time i ever went on a highway and the first time driving since my failed road test in october. I did get the car there in one piece, didn't hit anything, but as my co-worker said, my driving sucks. My main problem is speed altercation going too fast or too slow, trying to find the medium, and staying in between the lane and the curb. Its hard because its like I end up focusing on one thing and losing track of the other.
I scheduled a new road test for April 10th and I have a lesson for tomorrow. I just feel so pressured right now. What makes me even more depressed is knowing that, if i did lose this job, it will be 100 times harder for me to find a new one thanks to the economy aside from the fact that my business references suck and so does my job history (ever had too many jobs in one year? well apparently its not a good thing from what I hear).
So I guess my only other options are playing the lottery, making a million posts on mylot, or joining my best friend and mom by killing myself.
4 people like this
6 responses
@gwenpinay (49)
• United Arab Emirates
15 Mar 09
It's tough, I know. But after the period of mourning, you must pick yourself up. Start by working with what you have - your job. You need the license so focus on that one. Forget the short film for a while. You can't cram too many projects at once. If the driving takes all you've got, grit your teeth and get on with it. In my experience, accomplishing one goal gives you hope. Things will start looking up after that.
2 people like this
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
15 Mar 09
Killing yourself doesn't make sense but getting the driving thing on is worthwhile.
The first time I drove a car in 1969 I had an accident and it took me three tests to actually pass the exam.
Driving permits are not hard to get once you get then hang of driving. I imagine this can be harder for some than others but once you get it you're really cool.
I've now been driving since 1969 and its never been a problem.
Don't worry too much about your dad.
He'll get it back in ways you probably won't know about.
Think about yourself and how much better you can do with your life.
Try praying, that works too !
1 person likes this
@kpendragon77 (417)
• United States
16 Mar 09
Well, first of all killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and believe me when I say that this too shall pass.
In reading your post, I see that you have spent a lot of time focusing on the negative rather than the positive. I know how you feel though and I do recognize that there is a lot of anger and distraction going on right now. Both of these are feeding your fear of failure.
To help you, I am going to point out the positives that I see and I want you to read them carefully:
1) You graduated from EMT school. Regardless of taking that driving test, you ARE an EMT. You earned that title! No one can tell you any different.
2) You have the driving lessons in your head. They are there and you CAN remember them.
3) While your parents may not be there for you right now, you have a great support system. Your colleagues are rooting for you. They show this by working with you rather than against you.
4) You have a life and a career of your own and you earned it! You should be proud to be in such a profession. You WILL make a difference in this world.
Ok, now to get to your family. Your father is a grown man and he makes his own decisions. If he wants to be a blind idiot and be with this gold-digger than let him. He must learn from his mistakes the hard way. That's what he gets from thinking with his lower half. Distance yourself from him because if you don't you will continue to be stressed out. Turn your affections to your mother because she is the one who really needs you and deserves you. Honor your mother by conquering your fear and succeeding for yourself and for her.
I believe the only reason your driving 'sucks' is because you are distracted by all these, well, distractions. There will be time to grieve later my friend. Do not let these things distract you and turn your dream into a regret. You have worked too hard to throw it away. You can do this!!!Find a friend who has a vehicle and some extra time to practice with. Also, find some time to release some of thos excessive emotions...yoga, kickboxing, jogging, boxing, etc. You WILL get that license my friend.
Oh, and one more piece of advice:"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Livy J
P.S. I wish you the best of luck!
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
15 Mar 09
Killing yourself is not an option. I know driving in NY can be stressful and scary, but I think for the sake of your job, you should focus real hard on passing that test and getting your license.
Why don't you ask your friend from work to give you some private lessons, that way you can avoid the driving lesson fees. There are only a few basics that are required in order to pass the test. Concentrate on them first, get your license, then continue to practice until you feel comfortable behind the wheel.
Losing your job these days is not a good thing, especially when there are 10's of thousands of people trying to get one available job, I know, because I am one of them.
Sorry about the other devastating events that have happened in your life recently. Stay strong and focused, and everything will fall into place.
Good luck
1 person likes this
@heehaw78 (566)
• Malaysia
15 Mar 09
do not worry, you should try to talk to your manager about this matter, maybe he would understand then why previously you did not passed the road exams.
For heavens sake, do not kill yourself, what you are going thru ,that is life i called. At least you still have a job to work with.
@lucas16 (98)
• Philippines
15 Mar 09
WTF!!!!!! your life is like a movie!!! wow!! you should enter your story in HOLLYWOOD.. who knows you might be a movie star!! dont kill yourself.. you can learn how to drive by playing bump car!! ahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaa... practice practice practice
1 person likes this
