Mother in laws.
By suzzy3
@suzzy3 (8341)
March 16, 2009 12:16am CST
I have just answered a discussion on mother in laws.I did make a bit of a mistake with my son: My son asked to come home as he was having serious problems with his partner,so what else could I do but to say yes,within half an hour of him being there they had made up and he had gone back.Good I thought ,the next time he rang ,I asked him what was wrong,he said he was not allowed out as much as he used to the pub,so I reminded him that he had four kids and a hard working partner who loved him and her request was not unreasonable to stay where he was and grow up,I then rang his partner and told her the contents of the phone call she thanked me ,I did not want her to think everytime something went wrong he could bolt home,he had to stay and sort it out for himself like an adult.My youngest son who I am always on about I cannot imagine him taking any notice of me when he gets older,to stronger mind,I try not to make him a mummys boy if he makes a mistake he pays for it.So hopefully he will think before he speaks and take measured consideration in everything for himself.
8 people like this
13 responses
@mansha (6298)
• India
16 Mar 09
That was nice, most moms I know are blind to the faults of their own kid. I know most of them as emotional blackmailers trying hard to get their boys back and most of them do not get well on their son's wies or girlfriends. I selldom across a mom who is like you straightforward and not afraid to doing the right thing for their sons. I also admire your writing the fact that his partner is a hardworking women most mom in laws don't think so fdor them its never enough. I wish I had a mother in law like you , I would although try to be exactly the way you are when I have a shot at being a mother in law.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
16 Mar 09
I have learnt to live in the real world and can well remember how hard it was when we started out in married life.learning to pay rent ,deal with all the housework,plus earn a living as well between you and then maybe a child the last thing anyone needs is someone coming roung and interfering,helping yes on their terms ,when they need it,other wise you could put so much pressure on them they split up thanks for kind words sometimes you wonder if your doing the right thing it is just so nice to know there are plenty of good responsces to this it means a lot to mexx
1 person likes this
@doddee (53)
• United States
17 Mar 09
I have 4 kids and I told myself a long time ago I wasn't go to be one of those mother-in-laws like mine was...lol...always meddling and pulling the guilt trip thing. I am lucky that I have a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law that I love very much. They will always be a part of my family. They are the parents of my grand kids. Like you that is the way that I talk to my daughter-in-law, and son-in-law. My kids know that I won't take sides with them just because I gave birth to them, if they are being stupid I will tell them so. One of my favorite movies is "Monster-In-Law". Synopsis: After years looking for Mr Right,"Charlie" played by Jennifer Lopez finally finds the man of her dreams, Kevin Fields (Michael Vartan), only to discover that his mother, Viola(Jane Fonda) is the woman of her nightmares. It is a fun movie and I've watched it a couple of times.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32190)
• United States
16 Mar 09
My fiance's mother is a very nice woman. I consider her my mother in law already because she basically is. We live with her, and she instructs us in the right ways of doing thing sometimes, while other times she listens to us. I'm glad I live with them though as I have learned early in my fiance and my relationship what kind of a woman she is, and how I can go about not insulting her. I think you've done a good thing for your daughter in law and also for your son. I think that he will soon learn to not run home so much and I hope that they will be able to work everything out.
I know it's hard to make decisions, and as a couple sometimes you make sacrifices, in your son's case it's his social time at the pub.
Good Luck to you!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32190)
• United States
16 Mar 09
Sometimes it's tough to give out tough love! I appreciate the comment!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29085)
• United States
16 Mar 09
Hi, suzzy3! If you are a mother-in-law, yoiu are a good one! You mind your own business, and you don't stick yours nose where it does not belong.. You are smart for being this way! Your sons and daughters will thank you for it! And plus your daughter-in-law will too. And any other in-laws that you will have. I just wished that my mother-in-law could have inherited these traits. Itr sure would have made our relationship much better tahn it ever was! Cheers to you, suzzy3!
1 person likes this
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
16 Mar 09
That sounds like my brother, everytime he and his wife have a fight or she's throwing him out, he calls our mom, and of course, she tells him he can come home, even if its his fault. I told mom, she needs to let him grow up, and let him fix his own problems, and quit babying him, or he'll never learn anything. Alot of the time, she'll call and talk to his wife to see what's going on, and tell them to try to work things out on their own. He lives about 300 miles away from us, so its not like we can go running up there every time something happens.
1 person likes this
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
16 Mar 09
that is great that you let your son know his four kids are main priority and being a married man he should not be out as often very good suzzy.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
16 Mar 09
Hi Suzzy,
You are a good mother and good mother in law too. I think a good mother can only be a good mother in law. Usually mothers are possessive on their kids and when they grow up and become married then the problem starts. If a mother can treat her son and daughter- in- law equally then their home will be a heaven (daughter in law should also be able to care her mother- in- law as her own mother).
I am lucky on that matter, my mother-in-law treating all her (four) daughter-in-laws equally and loving them much.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
16 Mar 09
i to try to be a good mother-in-law & stay out of their buisness. i have never wanted anyone in my buisness, luckily my boys have never run home like that & i don't blame u for putting your foot down w/him. u needed to. i know it wasn't easy but it was what needed to be done. us moms have a way of spoiling our sons. lolhope everything works out fine for them.
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
16 Mar 09
very well spoken, knowing when to tell our own kids they did wrong, my kids know if they do wrong i will tell them.
1 person likes this
@red_amethyst (3518)
• Philippines
16 Mar 09
Hi suzzy.
you are a good mother and a mom-in-law.
I wish all mothers will be like that. and I also wish when my son grow up I will be like that also.
We just wish that our son will do the right thing
take care
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
16 Mar 09
You will be if this comments anything to go by,I just want all my children to he happy I will support if asked but not run their lives or try to.With some women it is a power struggle they have run thier husbands into the ground now their next challenge is the kids.Take care your self.xxx
@JHawkin214 (279)
• United States
16 Mar 09
Yes that is an excellent thing to do. My boyfriends mother always babyed my boyfriend. She always made and excuse for why things weren't his fault and tried to get him out of all the trouble he got into. Which in turn made him believe that was okay. Now that she's backed off and started telling him when he's in the wrong instead hes grown up a lot.
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