Frayed Nerves

@CRIVAS (1815)
Canada
March 16, 2009 8:16pm CST
The last couple of days have been really hard for me. My two daughters don't seem to be listening to anything that I say. They are talking back and fighting with eachother from the time they wake up, pretty much until the time that they go to bed at night. I don't know what is wrong with them, they are normally so well behaved, I usually only have to ask them to do something once and they do it, lately I have had to ask them two or three times just to get their attention. I am starting to wonder if it is something that I am doing or not doing that is causing them to behave this way, but I can't think of anything. To make matters worse, last night after I put the girls to bed for the night, I was walking down the stairs to let the dog out one last time and I fell down the stairs. It was the large set too, I skid down the steps on my elbows, back and butt. On the way down I also hit my elbow on the corner of the wall and managed to hit my head too. Needless to say I am pretty sore today and the girls aren't making things easier. I even bought them some new coloring stuff to keep them busy, instead they started fighting over that too. I would love to know: Have you ever felt like your children's behavior has changed overnight? What did you do? How many times should I have to repeat myself before finally giving up? Time outs don't even seem to be working anymore so I have started to take toys away, does this seem mean to you? Am I doing the right thing? HELP.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@nympha687 (940)
• United States
17 Mar 09
Being a mother is not easy. try talking to them in a diplomatic way. treat them like mature individuals and let them know what's on your mind. Hope you fell better.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Mar 09
feel I mean
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@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
17 Jan 12
Thanks for the advice. I actually tried that and while it worked for a little way, they were back at eachother again in no time. I am hoping that as they get older they will learn how to solve their differences in a better manner, lord knows that me and their father are trying to get them to do just that.
• United States
17 Mar 09
I don't have any experience with my own being at the ages of yours but what I do have is experience with my nephews who are. I know for a fact, kids at a certain age don't respond to yelling or screaming (not saying thats what you are doing) you can talk to them calmly and they usually compute what you are saying. My nephews all did major turnarounds in their behavior and my brothers all wondered where it came from too. It seemed like they just woke up one day and started acting real irrational and extra hyper. You do need to take some time off for yourself but before you do, I suggest you try separating your girls for a little while to see if they are acting the same way apart as they would together. I am telling you now, timeouts don't work..they just give children the chance to figure out what to do next. I was told that when it comes to telling children what to do, you speak it firmly one time and if they don't comply, you are supposed to give them warnings and all that but to me thats wasted air too. This might be one of those times you can call on the help of a relative (grandmas usually can set children straight) so this way you can take time off to just relax without the stress. My son is only 6 months and I see weird behavior in him from time to time and when its gets too much, I get his uncles, grandmother, and his godmothers involved. You can also ask their doctor and see what they might have to say...
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@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
17 Jan 12
Thank you for the advice. But talking to my doc isn't going to help. They are just kids being kids and things worked out fine. Docs are for medical advice, not behavioral. But thank you regardless for taking the time to read my discussion and give me your advice. I am very greatful to have people here on mylot to help out when I need it. Thanks again and happy mylotting.
• United States
17 Mar 09
O let me tell you I have had days just like that and it really sounds like you need you some "you" time hun! Trying running you a hot bath after they go to bed and just laying in it in a dim light. Have a mental talk with your self it helps. Refresh your self and refresh your ideals. These Are things I am learning myself I have to kids one is 2 and well we all know about that nice age of two and back talks really bad and well the other is 8 and has ADHD that I prefer not to treat with meds.I have had plenty of days like this on that you write of. Kids will be kids and they go through that state. How you deal with it is how it will turn out. So do something after they go to bed to refresh you body and mind and you may find a solution to your problems. But taking care of your self mentally and phonically is a big factor. Your no good to them babies if your all stressed out. Take care of your self and remember how important you are to them kids. Treat yourself to alone time. And keep your head up.
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@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
17 Jan 12
Thank you so much for the advice. I did what you said and now ever night after they go to bed, I take the time to take a nice hot bath and read a book. My husband has been a great help. He takes over while I'm in the tub when he is home and has been really helpful. My daughters also seem to be back to their normal selves. They are not fighting any more, just arguing every once in a while but nothing like they were before. I am very happy with the way that things have been going lately and I definately feel a lot better than I was back then. I am actually back on track and have started work on my novel which I hope to get published this year (that is if I have enough time to get it done LOL.) Thank you so much for taking the time to not only read my discussion but to help me with some much needed assurance that this is normal. I was starting to wonder until my friends here on mylot helped me out. I don't know what I would do without you guys. Thank you so very much.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
17 Mar 09
I remember days when nothing ever went right. However, believe it or not, my boys never fought. Seriously I am not making this up., My son and I spoke of this today when his twins had a barney. I said that I wondered if my memoryhad grown selective but he said the same. They did not fight. They argued sometimes but did not fight. I think that you need some time for yourself and also speak with them and tell them how you are feeling. Ask thme to cooperate.. tell them what you feel to hear them quarrel so much. Listen to them too. Best of luck. Mine are now so grown up but I still worry over them.
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