Body piercing and tatoos - would you allow your teenage daughter...
By cmauthe1
@cmauthe1 (267)
Canada
March 17, 2009 5:37pm CST
My 14 (almost 15) year old daughter has been bugging me for a while to let her get her nose and belly button pierced and a tattoo.
I have told her in no uncertain terms that this is not ok with me and she can wait till she's 18 and then do what she wants with her own body.
Does this make me a responsible parent or "Ogre Mom"? I don't think she is old enough to realize the ramifications of body piercing and tatoos. Help!
2 people like this
8 responses
@maezee (41988)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well, I got my nose pierced (with my mothers consent) at age 12, going on 13. And not to say that my mom was at all lax about her rules - it took me FOREVER to convince her, and it took even longer to find a salon that would actually DO IT, being that I was 12 and only had a parent's consent.
I'm not a parent, but I would probably let my daughter get her nose pierced at age 14, it would be hypocritical not to let her (considering my own situation). I think a nose ring can actually look cute, so long as you make sure she gets a small rhinestone stud rather than a hoop or something that looks tacky and noticable. I think 14 is plenty old enough to get a nose piercing. And, honestly, my mom made me pay the $40 myself, do all the research, and pay for all of my nose-piercing "care products". And I had to learn how to take care of it myself, so it was a lesson in responsibility, as silly as that sounds.
I don't think 14 is old enough to get a belly button piercing or a tattoo, though. There's something s.exual about a belly button piercing (don't you think?) and I wouldn't be comfortable with my daughter getting it done. And tattoos just aren't a good idea for 14 year olds (I remember when I was 14 - I was incredibly impulsive about things, and if I was able to get a tattoo at that age, I'm SURE I would regret now).
But honestly, there aren't too many "ramifications" of piercings, especially in the nose. Because your nose is a mucus membrane, piercing holes QUICKLY close up and rarely leave any kind of scars (unless the piercer did a bad job). I would say there's a larger ramififcation for TATTOOS, which are incredibly expensive to get covered up or removed.
The bottom line, though, is that it's totally up to you, as a parent. Until she's 18, you have totaly control over these things. The only thing that I would worry about is your daughter deciding to try piercing herself..by herself or having a friend do it. This is just a BAD idea, and teens don't realize it at the time. At least if you had your daughter get her nose/belly button pierced in a professional salon, you wouldn't have to worry about sanitation or her scarring herself. I know that when my mom refused to take me to get my lip pierced (at age 15), I had one of my friends do it for me - and I was lucky not to get any infections or have it turn out bad or anything like that, but it happens all the time. If you decide not to let her get anything done, make sure she's educated about why shouldn't try doing it herself, either.
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@maezee (41988)
• United States
18 Mar 09
That's a great idea! And perhaps you could have her save up for it herself (maybe by making her do chores or something to that effect for a monthly-allowance or something), so she can also learn "the value of a dollar", while she's at it. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
I personally think that nose piercing with a small diamond or stud is very beautiful. But I also think that it's sexy so I am sure you understand that part of my dilemma (it kind of weirds me out). Belly button rings are even sexier!
OMG, what you've written does scare me. I would hate that she did herself damage.
I'll see if we can come to a compromise - maybe as a "passing school" reward at the end of the school year? As another mylotter said, if she gets good grades this term, etc. She's an honour roll student, so she'll be happy with this I'm sure.
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@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
17 Mar 09
Well, personally as a mom with body mods I don't see an issue any sort of modification. However, I do agree she's too young for a tattoo because at that age I am not sure if she truly would understand the significance behind any tattoo she would design at this age. That said I don't feel she's too young for a nose ring or naval ring. Though, she needs to be aware of the healing time involved and how to care for such a piercing. My second nose piercing has taken almost 4 months to heal, and my naval piercing took almost a full year to heal. Of course, I was nursing when I had it so I would catch it quite a bit.
If she doesn't have a dress code at her school perhaps you could allow for the nose piercing let's say if her grades remain good for the term, or such.
I know with our own children we'll be allowing them to have piercings below 18 so long as our piercer does them, but they will not be allowed their first tattoo until they are 18. (And most parlors don't tattoo children below the age of 18 anyhow).
Namaste-Anora
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@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
20 Mar 09
I agree Anora. She is a little young for a tattoo right now, but maybe you can use the body piercing as a motivation for good grades or something.
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@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
22 Mar 09
Thanks for the BR. I think what is tough is that so many other kiddos are out there getting piercings etc, that peer pressure plays a huge role when they are your child's age. Mine from my current marriage are really little so all I've had to deal with is our little man drawing on himself to have "tatoos like daddy" lol. My older children don't like the idea of tattoos or my guaged ears so I've never had them ask me or their step mom. Now, my sister-in-law's daughter just had her nose done at 13 years but she's not allowed to get her lip pierced until she's older and keeps good grades.
Good luck and have fun! Namaste-Anora
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@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
17 Mar 09
I really appreciate you taking the time to respond! I have my ears pierced and 4 small tatoos, but no other body piercings.
I guess I just feel that she is too young to make these kinds of decisions. I know that the navel is a sweat gland and takes forever to heal.
Maybe we could agree to a nose piercing when she turns 16 next year.
Thanks and happy mylotting...
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@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
18 Mar 09
Well, your daughter is too young to get a tattoo.. i mean, she has to wait until she's 18.. i'm not married yet and i don't have a child either but if i'm going to have one, i won't allow her to get a tatoo or body piercing at a very young age.. back to your topic, you're not being an ogre mom..what you did is right.. you know, you need to exercise your power at times..
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@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
In Canada, supposedly they can get a tatoo at 16 with a parent's consent (I'm not giving it). I've tried to raise my kids to think for themselves and they are great kids. The problem, I think, is that I can really relate to her struggles even though I am 44. I grew up in a strictly controlled environment where self expression was not allowed so I never got to develop alot of my own personality until many years later. I am probably too lenient where some things are concerned, but never safety or health. Anyway, thanks for saying I'm not Ogre Mom - happy mylotting!
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
17 Mar 09
Thank you for your support! I know she is just trying to express herself. She is a very creative kid who is strong willed and knows her own mind. However, I can't let her do something that she is too young for. I've had this heated debate with her for almost a year, and I am not giving in... I keep telling her that when she is 18 she can do whatever she wants. I have a friend who's daughter (at 14) had her belly button pierced and ended up with Toxic Shock Syndrome. It caused her to be very ill and damaged her heart!
@Krissta (90)
• Canada
17 Mar 09
I totally agree with you. I dont think kids realize the perm affect tattoos and such can have. I got my first tattoo at 16, totally snuck it by my parents, and now I live to regret it. I wish i would of never got it, what seemed cute at the time, is now totally pointless.
As my parents used to say, and as I say to my children, When they dont live under my roof, they can do as they please... Until then, its my rules ;)
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@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
17 Mar 09
I got my tatoos in my 30's after years and years of wanting them. I absolutely love them and will probably get more...
I agree that she is too young to really understand that what she picks now will not (or probably not) be something she loves when she's older, just like you said.
I tell her the same as you... my house, my rules.
@corona1234 (467)
• United States
18 Mar 09
My daughter is 17 soon to be 18 and she was nagging me for a lip piercing and a tattoo since she was 13.I told her that she also had to wait until she was 18,Iam hopeing she will forget about it.
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@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
If she's anything like my daughter, don't hold your breath! She is a great kid,and I have tried to raise her to think for herself and encouraged her to express herself. We've always played around with streaks in her hair (just bingo dauber ink to start with!), and she's always had pretty eclectic tastes in clothes. I don't mind if at 18 she chooses to do these things, I just really think she's too young as yet.
@benz87333angel (104)
• United States
1 Feb 10
I am 23 years old and when I was that young I wanted everything I could get to make a statement about myself. Thank goodness I had a very old fashioned father who would not allow it in his house. When I turned 16 I had a friend pierce my tongue, which I still have. I hide that from my parents till I was 18. Then at 18 I started getting tattoos, which I now have 4. One of them I wish I never had done. It was my fist one and really didn't think about what I really wanted. I just ran out got something done, thought it was the greatest thing at the time and now wish I hadn't done it.
For your daughter a nose piercing I think is okay. If she doesn't like it over time it will heal quick. Nose studs are normally small and can't even see it. For the belly button, I would say no to that for a couple more years. That piercing can get infected too easily and hard to take care of. Now for tattoos. That is a major no. Not untill she reaches the age of 18. Make sure she plans for what she wants, taking time to make sure that it is going to be the perfect one that she is going to want on her body for the rest of her life. Also, jobs sometimes will not hire people with tattoos showing. So she should think about that too.
Tell her if she does good in school or maybe starts helping around the house more ect. That you may allow her to get the nose piercing. Then wait a couple more years and let her get the belly button piercing. Maybe over time she will change her mind on what she wants to do or not do to her body. I wish you the best of luck because soon the rebellion teenage side is going to start and she may try to go out and do the things herself. That's what I did anyway, may not happen with her.
@cmauthe1 (267)
• Canada
2 Feb 10
Hello. I agree with your responses. I got my first tattoo when I was in my 30's, after thinking long and hard about what I wanted. It is terrible to have it done and then regret it.
I truly understand about wanting to make a personal statement - she has been changing her hair colour, getting streaks, choosing her own hairstyles and clothing for quite some time. I don't believe in stopping her from making a personal statement - I just want her to think hard before doing something that is permanent. I know of a lady who had a tattoo on the side of her face and you could tell that she regretted it and was embarrassed by it. She was always pulling her hair over to cover that side of her face. It was a beautiful tattoo, but the wrong place for it. I am sure she had difficulty finding work and people judged her without even knowing her because of that tattoo.
I agree that a nose ring would be ok, but am deadset against belly button, tongue or tattoos until she is 18 or older. As an adult, she can choose for herself.
Thank you very much for your well thought out response! Happy myLotting!
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
5 Oct 12
you are right in your decision
she should wait till 18 to get it done, thanks for sharing,
as part of our tradition, girls get the ear and nose pierced; they wear ornaments in ear and nose pin in nose. Boys too used to get ears pierced; but now it is gone; girls too don’t like to get the nose pierced any more.
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