Define Depression
By Grandmaof2
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
Canada
March 17, 2009 11:27pm CST
So lets' call her Jane. You are talking to your friend and Janes' name comes up in conversation, something along these lines. I have sure noticed Jane is awefully depressed lately and looks like she's been going through bad depression for awhile now.
My question is, What has Jane said or done that would prompt you to know Jane is depressed, assuming of course you're not a doctor or nurse.
8 people like this
28 responses
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
I would say that she may be very tired and not into things. That she would not have that get up and go she usually has. Also she would not smile as much. Another thing is that she does not take advantage of opportunities as she should. Depressed people, even mildly depressed people will not take as many chances and the only time they will is if they are in a manic state and then they go too much the other way.
So watch how she acts and then you will know. You can also ask her what is wrong. Depression sometimes is an inability to cope with a certain situation. God does not give us all the same ability to get over something bad.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
We all have problems, no marriage is perfect. Like for me, I wanted to get pregnant so badly, and because of me being a bad girl (that is what they called girls who got pregnant before marriage -I had to give up the baby and the rules made it so that we were nervous about seeing a doctor unless you were heartless)) I could not and only was long enough for the miscarriage. And not only that, I married a guy who only wanted two children when I wanted at least six.
Not only that, my husband is a bit bossy and controlling. And now I am helping him because of his severe stroke and I wonder, if I am so good at this taking care of someone who is an invalid (even though I would not be able to get into nursing because I am bad at chemistry and math), getting pregnant and going through pregnancy and birth would be a cinch and I could have easily done that as well as adopting our sons.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank You for your response and definitely you bring up good points but this is what happened and it has really impacted me.
I can't believe this but this lady young yet with children of her own at home and a new baby grandchild that she truly loved, no one from work suspected a thing. She was a good worker she always greeted co workers with respect, just an all round wonderful person. She had an excellent marriage, hubby is a really good guy. The one and only thing she ever said was to one friend and all she said was that her and her husband were have some issues. No more said about what issues or anything. Now how many people can say they have been happily married for 30 years and never had issues. Maybe some Yes, but you'd never think this was going to happen. Scary really!!!
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank You for your response. Nice to have you here for me.
I can't believe this but this lady young yet with children of her own at home and a new baby grandchild that she truly loved, no one from work suspected a thing. She was a good worker she always greeted co workers with respect, just an all round wonderful person. She had an excellent marriage, hubby is a really good guy. The one and only thing she ever said was to one friend and all she said was that her and her husband were have some issues. No more said about what issues or anything. Now how many people can say they have been happily married for 30 years and never had issues. Maybe some Yes, but you'd never think this was going to happen. Scary really!!!
2 people like this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
18 Mar 09
She is tired alot, she doesn't have an interest in things that she liked before. She eats more or eats less then normal for her. She might gan or loose weight, She doesn't seem happy, she seems sad and unemotional lots of time. She sleeps alot, she doesn't talk to family and friends as much, She doesn't get dressed, stays in jammies all day, watches tv all the time. Things like this that are out of the ordinary. Sometimes people do get depressed and feeling down in the winter time. getting outside in the fresh air and sunshine helps.
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Oh My I live in my PJs most times, Perhaps Not A Good Thing!!!
I have heard of two people lately that took their own life, both cases young children were left and I think we all need some awareness in hopes of being able to save a life one day. I like your answers, rated + Thank You.
2 people like this
@hushpie234 (32)
• United States
19 Mar 09
yeah it happens
she could have a bug
or maybe its just that time of the month
if you catch my drift
@Idlewild (6090)
• United States
18 Mar 09
There are guidelines that professionals use that are included in self-help guides as well. Some of the factors to look for would be feelings of despair, hopelessness, lethargy, giving up on tasks when encountering minor resistance (or not taking on tasks at all), etc. The professional criteria would probably say that the behavior or feelings would have to occur for a certain length of time, etc.
I would do a Web search for depression screening or something like that and look for guidelines from reputation medical or psychology organizations.
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
This is also a very good answer. The reason for this post is because I have known of cases where people have taken their own life and what a shame to think that maybe we could have said or done something that could have made a difference. I will never blame myself if Jane takes her life but I'd sure feel great knowing I influenced her against doing so. Thank You +
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor or nurse....I only play one on the internet...LOL
Okay maybe with this Jane, she might look more worn out and tired than before. She may have in passing said something that she's not sleeping well (or the opposite sleeping too much)---not eating much, lack of appetite or overeating (some people when depressed tend to overeat..sort of a comfort thing)---maybe Jane has also mentioned she's just not interested in doing things anymore like she used to and has no pep or energy to do anything either.
3 people like this
@hushpie234 (32)
• United States
19 Mar 09
well lets face it the medical profession is kinda tough on the energy levels isnt it??
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Well with not a lot of info here to help me to understand a little better here, I would say a lack of energy, lack of intrest at work, not really wanting to talk to or see friends and family, wanting to be alone and mope around and sleep, and not eat well or overeat depending on her nature. Also not really caring about what is going on around her and just trying to go through the everyday motions of living and getting through the day.These are just a few of my thoughts.
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
19 Mar 09
You're so right on with the examples but unfortunately there are times when we just don't see warning signs. Thank You for your response.
2 people like this
@weemam (13372)
•
18 Mar 09
I would say she looked tired , she wasn't really interested in anything and she wasn't concentrating on anything much either , She wasn't laughing like she usually did in fact she was hardly even smiling , I felt really sorry for her , I wished I could help
Wee xx
@weemam (13372)
•
18 Mar 09
The sad thing is pal that some people always keep to themselves and might not have a good friend to confide in , I am lucky and I do have a special friend , we share everything , he is my hubby and I met him 50 years ago , We discuss EVERYTHING and that helps , I just wish more people could tell someone how they feel , it is just so sad , I am lucky that we have a close family and we can all talk about anything that is a worry
Wee xx
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank You as always for being a loyal friend of mine. There's a lot of people that wish they could have helped their pal. She gave no warning signs which is unusual.
I can't believe this but this lady young yet with children of her own at home and a new baby grandchild that she truly loved, no one from work suspected a thing. She was a good worker she always greeted co workers with respect, just an all round wonderful person. She had an excellent marriage, hubby is a really good guy. The one and only thing she ever said was to one friend and all she said was that her and her husband were have some issues. No more said about what issues or anything. Now how many people can say they have been happily married for 30 years and never had issues. Maybe some Yes, but you'd never think this was going to happen. Scary really!!!
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Well I'm glad you're here too. I guess depression is horrible but fortunately for me in spite of all the trials I have had to face, I have never felt low enough to consider ending my life. I want to see my Grandchildren grow up.
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank you so much for your response. The reason I started the post really is to bring awareness of how things can sometimes happen with no notice of any changes.
I can't believe this but this lady young yet with children of her own at home and a new baby grandchild that she truly loved, no one from work suspected a thing. She was a good worker she always greeted co workers with respect, just an all round wonderful person. She had an excellent marriage, hubby is a really good guy. The one and only thing she ever said was to one friend and all she said was that her and her husband were have some issues. No more said about what issues or anything. Now how many people can say they have been happily married for 30 years and never had issues. Maybe some Yes, but you'd never think this was going to happen. Scary really!!!
2 people like this
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Since my doctorate is not in a medical field, I presume it is ok to answer this one :-)
My response is that I would never make that comment, since I view that term as a clinical label connected with psychiatry, and I am a follower of Thomas Szasz. He wrote, among other things, a book called The Myth of Mental Illness, in which he describes some of the dangers of labeling people with such terms. If any friend of mine mentioned feeling depressed I would suggest that person take a closer look at the food s/he is eating, because what many people consider depression is often, in my opinion, just a chemical imbalance resulting from improper nutrition.
3 people like this
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
18 Mar 09
To me, it shows in the way a person loses interest in things she used to enjoy. She either doesn't get excited about things she used to, or shows no interest in engaging in activities she once enjoyed, turn down invitations to do things she always did before. She may be more tired, complain of not sleeping well, show marked weight loss or gain in a short period of time, without appearing to be trying.
Most significantly, these things need to persist over a period of time. If it is just for a few days or so, it's probably just a passing thing. But if it hangs on, and starts to interfere with her relationships or work, I'd say she's depressed.
3 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
You bring up points I would also look for but this situation is scary and really has impacted me.
I can't believe this but this lady young yet with children of her own at home and a new baby grandchild that she truly loved, no one from work suspected a thing. She was a good worker she always greeted co workers with respect, just an all round wonderful person. She had an excellent marriage, hubby is a really good guy. The one and only thing she ever said was to one friend and all she said was that her and her husband were have some issues. No more said about what issues or anything. Now how many people can say they have been happily married for 30 years and never had issues. Maybe some Yes, but you'd never think this was going to happen. Scary really!!!
2 people like this
@joyceshookery (2057)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Has Jane lost interest in her usual activities? How is her energy level? I have no idea what Jane is like in person. If she's usually lively and seems more quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean she's depressed. Maybe she's preoccupied. If guessing doesn't give you an answer, ask her if she's feeling okay or if she wants to share her thoughts. If she tells you anything, don't tell anyone else. Keeping her confidentiality is very important.
If she talks, just listen. If she doesn't ask for your advice, don't give it. Just being supportive as a friend is a valuable gift.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank You once again for your response and I do agree a true friend will not tell others what was told to them as confidential.
2 people like this
@hushpie234 (32)
• United States
19 Mar 09
personally i think she is going through some stuff
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
18 Mar 09
I would probably feel bad for Jane and I can relate to how she might be feeling. I too suffer with a little bout of depression here and there. It goes a little further than just having the blues.
It is not easy in this life to go through the everyday struggles that's for sure. A person like this needs someone to talk to and might not know how to go about asking for help.
I say that the best thing is just be a caring person and let her know you are willing to listen.
I know that I would figure that she might need some professional help if it seems that she looks down most of the time.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160665)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Grandma, I hope that you do not fall into a situational depression, thinking about this thing that happened with Jane. She actually may have felt like she was not important enough to "burden" anyone with her despair.Not worth noticing. That is a depression symptom as well.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank You so much for your response.
I pride myself on being a person who is always willing to listen when someone needs to talk to me but my goodness this lady never offered anyone any clues that she was having nothing more than issues with her husband and lets be honest we've all had those. This has left me speechless.
I can't believe this but this lady young yet with children of her own at home and a new baby grandchild that she truly loved, no one from work suspected a thing. She was a good worker she always greeted co workers with respect, just an all round wonderful person. She had an excellent marriage, hubby is a really good guy. The one and only thing she ever said was to one friend and all she said was that her and her husband were have some issues. No more said about what issues or anything. Now how many people can say they have been happily married for 30 years and never had issues. Maybe some Yes, but you'd never think this was going to happen. Scary really!!!
3 people like this
@Super_Mommy (119)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well, it doesn't have to be just what she says. It can be anything from her attitude to how she talks lowly about herself, or is quiet, or anything else. That's the best I got.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
And your best is a very good answer. Thank You This has blown me away
I can't believe this but this lady young yet with children of her own at home and a new baby grandchild that she truly loved, no one from work suspected a thing. She was a good worker she always greeted co workers with respect, just an all round wonderful person. She had an excellent marriage, hubby is a really good guy. The one and only thing she ever said was to one friend and all she said was that her and her husband were have some issues. No more said about what issues or anything. Now how many people can say they have been happily married for 30 years and never had issues. Maybe some Yes, but you'd never think this was going to happen. Scary really!!!
2 people like this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Jane may react strange to jokes. Fun can make depressed people even more sadder.
Trouble sleeping can lead people to depression, so for sure Jane can mention trouble sleeping. Pain, financial stress, lost of job are also on the list for possible depression.
Jane may not be aware, but she may feel good only in her bed, far away from other people. She may stay in home and she is not willing to see her friends.
She may say that she is tired, she may look very sad, her face is pale with gray-greenish accent. She may feel alone and out of space.
HUGS
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
18 Mar 09
Well she could go around looking very sad, maybe not sleeping, maybe forgetfullness , or maybe sleeping to much, she could be crying at the drop of a pin...you might notice that she has lost interest in things, mood swin...it is usually easy to see depression in a person IF they are around you a lot...
2 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Hi Grandmaof2~ I have severe clinical depression. It is not
always something that is easily diagnosed. A person can be
sad, not want to do anything, be moody, appear angry, have
mood swings, seem confused, have changes in weight gain or loss,
not want to be sociable. There are alot of different symtoms
that one can have that can point to having depression. There
are also many types of depression. Some require a person to
see a doctor, some will just snap out of it on their own. If
the symtoms are long lasting they it is a good idea to suggest
seeking medial help.
2 people like this
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
18 Mar 09
There are different types of depression. Here it seems to be the common one.
Depression is more than the blues or the blahs; it is more than the normal, everyday ups and downs. When that "down" mood, along with other symptoms, lasts for more than a couple of weeks, the condition may be clinical depression. Clinical depression is a serious health problem that affects the total person. And surely the person needs medication I guess.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
18 Mar 09
Thank You very much for your response and I agree some people do need medication.
2 people like this
@gvannorman (438)
• United States
19 Mar 09
Could be anything from not talking to friends and family. Maybe she is showing signs of not caring about anything. Sleeping all the time. Not performing the same at work.
Depression can come in any shape or form. Noticing the signs of depression is the first step in helping you help your friend.
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