Yesterday a lady was very upset

Hi maximax8, That is so very sad, hope she hasen't done anything to harm herself or the baby, don't really know what the cultre like in South Africa but she should have got on with having her baby and washed her hands of her husband and got on with her life. Tamara

Sounds like a really sad situation. Hope she finds some help.

Hi there I think this is a very sad story! I also think that the mods shouldn't have stopped the responses - it is possible that if they were supportive, they might have helped her through a difficult time - you know, sometimes just knowing that there are people out there supporting you makes all the difference. Abortions in South Africa are illegal so no matter how far she is in her pregnancy, in South Africa, she would end up having a back street abortion which could (and often they do) end badly for her and her baby. I think that those who thought she was perhaps depressed were correct and she no doubt does need help, but unfortunately, in SA the health service is all private and it would cost her to get the help that she needs - it is possible that she doesn't have the money or resources to get the help she needs. I hope somebody comes to her rescue. Violetdreams

I didn't see this discussion, but I desperately hope the lady has found someone to help her, support her and give her some sensible advice. What a horrible situation to find herself in - and I hope she is able to take a deep breath and think of the ramifications of whatever action she chooses to take - it's not something which should be decided in haste, so I hope she has good friends to support her at this time.

Yes I feel sad to because what the lady is experiencing is a traumatic one. I think she might be unlucky with her husband but she should just think of the baby in her womb. It is not right to think just of yourself when you are to become a mom. I was in the same situation before but the difference is my husband is very caring and responsible. He does not have any affair and I am a witness to that. I myself guarantees that fact and I thank God I am very blessed. I may not be ready to be a mom but I just thought of the baby. In her case she really needs help. I guess if the comments that were written in that site does not help (that is if she is hard to convince) then she should seek advice from friends and more importantly family. We all may not know her story but in case she will not listen to our advices despite the trial she is experiencing then let us ask her to deliver the baby and give to an orphanage or someone who could take care of the child (in case she can't support the needs of the baby.) That I think will convince her.

This is tough decision. I can say that it is better that she and her husband live now on their own because they might end up hurting each over and over again if they continue. With regards to the baby, it is really her choice what to do. But on my part I rather let the baby live.

Well, I feel a little for her, but she's brought this upon herself to an extent. She's 26 weeks pregnant, and all she can think about is that she's lost her husband... what about the baby? Surely after 26 weeks, she's fairly attached to the child now, but she wanted to be rid of it... why? I don't understand. Why is she so hellbent on ending her life when there's a little person there depending on her being there for it? Does she feel that the child caused the break-up? How long has she been married? What has she done to try and stop her partner leaving her, and is this all a false cry for help? It just doesn't ring true to me, my friend. If the child was conceived in love, and she's 26 weeks down the line, then I can't understand why she hasn't any feelings for the child, and moreover, why she's not ecstatic that the child is ok... blow the husband. If what he wants is to go around planting his seeds in every farm he comes to, then he's not worth the hassle. I say she should seek some counselling and be happy to bring the little newborn into the world, and care for it. It gives her a purpose in life, other than grieving for a no-good excuse for a man, who doesn't deserve her affection. Brightest Blessings, my friend.

I think that she is suffering from depression and she needs help. By all means, she should not get an abortion and should not blame her unborn baby for her husband being such a cad. The baby is an innocent. It is not his or her fault. If you belong to this website, maybe you can suggest that she go to a Crisis Pregnancy Center in South Africa if she has no way to care for her baby and also tell her to get some help. It is too bad that the post were stopped, but I guess that is because there were nasty people who encouraged her to get an abortion. '

If only she posted it here there would be a lot of suggestions and verbal supports she could get. I'm sure mylotters will jump in with responses, although I'm not sure if anyone here lives close to her to actually show up and talk to her. It's enough that financial stress is burdening us, I can't imagine having trust issue while being pregnant on top. Why do people do this to the one they married, I have no clue. If he didn't want to stay, why marry in the first place and have a baby?

That is sad and that poor lady does need help. But she won't get help on the word of other people. It is too bad that she relies on a website to make her choices. But since she is posting something like that on the web than she is begging for help and I hope someone in her family, or her babies family, or a friend or a professional, are able to help her before it is too late. If she is more than 20 weeks and gets an abortion there is a good chance she won't survive especially since she would have to go to the black market to get it done. If she takes an overdose she will also die, not just her baby. I would hope that out of the 50 responses she got, that at least one of them jolts her awake and she gets help. Soooo sad. Alrighty then, talk to you later my friend, Have a good mylotting day, Chris

What a horrible situation to be in! It is probably such a bad time( not that any time is good! ) to find out your husband is having an affair and she must feel so low to contemplate her actions! I only hope she gets the help she needs. x

no more travel discussion maxi?hehehe

I think there is a lack of education and resources to deal with overwhelming distressful situations that come upon us. Society needs a better structure. We need supposrt so that we can weather the storms. The storms are temporary. They pass. The sun will come out again. We need more compassionate understandig family and friends. Very sad when temporary problems overwhelm a person to such a degree that they now want to give up on life. Life goes on! She may meet a better man. The child could add so much joy to her life. Life is worth living no matter what. Every day is not the same. We have good days and bad days. She should not be so quick to throw in the towel.

Well I think it is very sad case, someone better get help to this lady before she does something that she is going to regret. I think the dad is such a jerk. after what the women have done for her, he treats her this way.

I also feel sad about the story, I think she needs to go to the nearest gov't welfare who helps like in her situation, so she would be attended well and they could help her situation.

Hi maxine! Oh my, that is terrible! I hope she is feeling a little better or hopefully her husband or any friend, relative could be there for her. This is really sad to know and I hope she will be enlightened with all her respondents on her discussion. I pray that she will see some hope and light. Take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith

That is vey sad. I hope this young mother-to-be finds help before she hurts herself or the baby she is carrying. Regardless of what the father did or is doing, she needs to think about that baby and herself before all. I hope that the site managers that read this discussion, tracked her IP address and tried to get her some help or at least called the local authorities and had a wellfare check done on her.