Love means you never have to say you're sorry?

I feel not saying sorry in love is somehow taking your love for granted. In love if it is equal relationship sorry can heal lots of wounds which we give sometimes unknowingly. It is better to say sorry as taking someone for granted is not a done thing even in love.

Your thought are very nice, appropriate, and I am sure experiential, for fights in a relationships are unavodable. It is not that when one cofesses love after the courting stage is over, everything becomes identical- like you have rightly said. It is probably foolish to evn assume that for love's sake one would simply give up individual opinions or perceptions. They will only be kept under check with all those apologies, and compensatory "I Love You"-a in a bit to retain the hard won love. I am assuming that the LoveConfession was got after lot of pursuing, tacit refusals game-playing and what not those painful-yet-sweet moments of fight-avoidance-sorry-saying-reassuring and like-such drama. Once this period of make-believe is over the differences if any would come to the fore and depending on the ego-levels there will be tempestuous fights, strong disagreements, silent rebuttals. One must however decide on when to say we are going overboard or bending backwards to say sorry or compensatory ILUs.

That saying came from the movie "love Story". Great movie but it was just hollywood and not all that realistic. I recently watched it with my daughters because back in the day...i read the book, watched the movie and thought it to be the best ever. It was actually not that great. I re-read the book as well. It was better than the movie but again...not all that great. It is kind of like watching a movie or show from years ago that you split a gut over and now it is just corny. It was just a silly movie. In real life, saying you are sorry when you are wrong is very important as long as it is sincere. If you love someone you will always feel sorry if you wrong them and you should always express your honest feelings.

I've never understood the saying either! If you can't apologise to a loved one, you aren't going to apologise to others and sometimes that one little word can heal even deep 'mental' wounds!

I'm not sure that I completely understand the saying. Yes, it is true that actions speak louder than words. But sometimes, it's better to simply say that you're sorry. Because although a lot of people know their partners, the person that they love, they can't always read your mind.

Well, the more in love you are, the more you need to say you're sorry whenever you had did something wrong. My husband and me had been practising this since we get to know each other. Whenever anyone of us had done anything wrong or even a slight arguement, in the end, we will always apologize to each other. Eventhough sometimes apologize may seems the hardest word to say, but it is the strongest weapon in healing your wounded relationship.

I have said it to hubby but I dont remeber him ever saying it to me. Not in words any how. And during courtship day. I never did for what he seen is what he got.

It seem that in love the relation is such that you never has to repent after loving. even if it breaks, you should remember there are lots of thing you have got from it. There should be no cheating that later you think you were wrong in knowing that person.

hi well i know that my boyfrend never says sorry, EVER ! And usully we have even bigger arguments because he doesn't say sorry,he says things like "it's too late for me to say sorry" or "i have no excuse to give you". And in a way i believe hat if he said or did something its because he wanted to say or do that something, why should he then say sorry ? If he doesn't trully feel sorry ? Jess

You are right. A relationship requires maturity and saying sorry and admitting you are wrong is a sign of maturity. For an alliance to be real the participants need to be authentically themselves and disagreements and arguments are part and parcel of any union. Life is ups and downs and everything in between and the most important thing to remember, I think is that when all else fails we must always turn to each other and speak words of love.

Hello Zandi, You are so right. Any relationship without disagreements would get very monotonous and there would be no spice in it. After the resolution of each disagreement, the relationship becomes stronger. There should be no ego involved in a relationship. Saying sorry is the simplest solution to the biggest of conflicts.

Hi.. first of all it is normal if you hurt somebody's feeling to say sorry, Well if you love that person that much you will ask for apology from the bottom of your heart and you will never hurt you partner again.

Hi Zandi, That was well documented but 'Love means you never have to say you're sorry' is just an analogy of what love can do to us human. When we love someone, to give forgiveness is so easy that asking sorry seems unnecessary anymore.

I definitely do agree that a conflict-free relationship would be boring. I recently moved, and am in another state than my girlfriend. We get into small, little fights every once in a while about something stupid. The thing is, that's how you know your love is real: you fight and you find out what your values are. You know it's real this way.

Zandi I feel that relationship need not be bumpy to be exciting and peace is AS GOOD AS excitement.Sometimes, intensity of emotion creeps in and leads to dire consequences.As far as I am concerned, I never have had problems saying'sorry' when I feel bad about something I have said something hurtful or intentionally insensitive.I also feel genuinely bad for having said that.On the other hand there are people who can NEVER ever say or even feel sorry even when they know they have done something unnecessary.And if you notice they would be people who have different perceptions of love[it would be more of the 'detached attachment 'kind.]Courting stage is too immature a stage where there would be umpteen sorrys and making ups I guess. The trouble would only start after the courting is over and I feel that there is nothing wrong in saying sorry for the occasional insensitivity if it is unintentional.And I do not agree with your statement that the more you are in love the more you have to say you are sorry.THe more emotional you are the more spontaneous you become and this results in a feeling of complacency that the love you have would make the other person unmindful of your faults and finally you end up saying something an d then saying'sorry' and it goes on.As long as one needs the other, it will all be alright but it all depends on the mutual need of the person.I have gone over to some other aspects but I feel that the more you love a person , the more careful you are about not hurting another and the more sensitive you become to their likes and dislikes and the chances are the less you hurt them , thereby eliminating the need for too many'sorry's.

I think you misunderstood the sentence. It was extracted from a romance of Segal under the context of which, "say you're sorry" means "say you regret" but not "apologize".

I agree with you Zandi, there are many times I have apologised to my other half cos we are both stubborn and refuse to 'back' down so to break the ice I apologise and the making up is good...but that isn't saying my other half doesn't either cos he does...I don't see anything wrong apologising in a relationship the disagreements etc do make the relationship stronger...littleowl

very nicely put zandi. i agree with you. loving without having to say sorry is just not love. nobody is perfect, therefore love exists on the premise that even though there may be mistakes along the way, love will be strong enough to accept sincere apologies. so there. good discussion. i am glad that there are still good discussions around here

Dear Zandi, as usual your discussion is interesting. i agree with you in all respect. i am a practical example of that. when you show your love ion a respective sentence " i love you " than thousand s of appologies will creat for to save the relationship.

of coure not. If someone r in love with somebody, she/he have to say sorry,and it's easy to say sorry. Coz he/she doesnt want to hurt the one he/she love,he/she care about he/she's feelings more than itself. love is not as important as apology? taht maybe not true love~