How to face divorce of your children?
By Zhu Huifen
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
China
March 20, 2009 3:56am CST
A friend of mine is in trouble. She has to face the issue of her son's divorce. I have little to offer her, but personally I guess she should
- control her feelings, and express her readiness to accommodate her son's decision, and to help if needed,
- not to say bad words about the ex in law, and be friendly to her if possible,
- give more warmth and safety for the grandchildren, physically and mentally, and
- be supportive to help getting out of the mud, but not going all out to sacrifice her future living.
Your opinion, and experience, if any, to share?
3 people like this
3 responses
@Jason_king (14)
• China
20 Mar 09
I think she should control her feeling,and except what you said,I have many advice.
-don't say too much to her son,because the more you said,the worrier you will be,and at that time she can't control her feeling;
-Just talk to her son with smiling,don't let him worry about you;
1 person likes this
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
20 Mar 09
Thanks you very much. You are right that she should not add worry to her son.
1 person likes this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
25 Mar 09
Hello my friend zhuhuifen46 Ji,
It is really a sad affair for any mother, but it gets more heat when it has never
happened earlier in one's life. In our case too, our younger son married of his own
choice, but we have taken oath from both of them that so long we both are alive
there won't be any seperation even if they wanted, our 'VETO' power is essential. I do
not know under the circumstances your friend's son married and wants to get seperated.
But my elderly advise is to sort the matter amicably, or life would turn sour for all.
May God bless you and have a great time.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
22 Mar 09
zhuhuifen46,
As a parent, it is equally disappointing and sad that one's child is going through the woes and pains of separation or divorce. Just like anyone who is going through this would feel heart wrenching, utterly disappointed, frustrated, confused and to the extent of utter loss too. I just feel that no additional anxieties and words could help but a quiet and solid shoulder to lean on.
IMO, being a parent, we should always be their pillars and refuge when they face the throes and woes of life. I am sure with the amount of time vested on them, parents would understand and knows what's best for them. So, there is no need of over reactions, anxieties and over doings here. Timely shoulder, outstretched arms, a hug and timely choice words should be more than enough. Remember, the eventual will still be dependent on being themselves and to evolve within.
I hope that your friend will realize these and wise up according to the situation. Have confidence in their children and that they will or rather HAVE TO come around on their own.
Take care and have a nice day.
