Why your actual lover doesn't want to hear about your exs?

'Hey Volkus. It is a good question and original. I believe we should talk to your friend, especially when your it comes to love. You should see things from all points of view. True love is not influence by some weights. Love is in consonace with the past. My opinion is not talk about your past as long as your girlfriend tells she does not first. This is may opinion. She lives happyly together with your girlfriend...

I really do believe it depends on how deep you are in the relationship. Like if it is serious and as you said, the one, it is alright to talk about past relationships. I never talked about my ex unless my current boyfriend starts talking about his. Or I may talk about something that would share his interest and not something that may stir some confusion or jealousy on his part. Basically, past is past and there really is no use talking about it. Better enjoy and work on what you have today. Stay happy friend!

Why? Because maybe most people want to pretend that you were a vigin when they met you? Maybe they just can't stand the fact that you might have been with someone else before them. They don't want to imagine that you are the person you are "because" of your past experiences. Personally, I don't think it's good to "dwell" on past relationships, but I don't think it's healthy to pretend that they didn't happen either. We become who we are because of our experiences and if something is relevent to what is going on in your life now, you shouldn't you want to undestand your partner better, even if it is because of something that happened in a past relationship? All the relationships that we have in our lives (not just romantic relationships) influence who we are. If you truly want to understand your partner, undertanding something of their past relationships could help you to understand them better. This doesn't mean we have to know every detail of a persons past. It doesn't mean we "dwell" on the past, I only mean that if something is relevant to who the person is now, and they want, or need to discuss it, you should be open to listening about it. But, if the person is not comfortable talking about painful experiences, then you should respect their privacy.

I don't think it's a very good idea to talk about past relationships. When my husband and I first met and he would mention another girl I would get really upset, but not say anything. It was the same way with him...he wouldn't tell me that it bothered him. Later on as we started to get more serious we still remembered those "early talks" and we were both really bothered by that knowledge. I don't know if we are both really jealous, or we are just normal because we love each other so much we don't want to imagine the other with someone else. I would say keep that info to yourself and provide only vague general details. For example say "I have been with 4 girls before you" and leave it at that.

This is a good one. My girlfriend will not say anything about her exs, not even any names. Whereas she Has to know my exs and what happened between us. I got moaned at for not telling her about my ex, yet she never says anything about her's even when asked. So I send her an e-mail with a general overview of me and my ex, then she send a very, very brief overview of her ex (one line), but still no names or detail. I don't obviously say things about an ex, like "Oh well 'she' would have done this." The only other time an ex has been mentioned is an argument where she has told me to go to my ex.

This is the worst thing when I just start dating some too. I hate it when I pay for a meal and movie to take a girl out and all she does is ramble on and on about her ex that she just broke up with. Honestly I dont want to hear it. It is really annoying and eventually I just want to choke myself for letting her drag me out to the movies and spend my money

I think it depends on the relationship, on the guy, on the reason why you will tell him things about your ex, and when you tell him. Nobody wants to be compared and majority of the time, if you talk about your ex, your guy will think that you are comparing the two of them and that is not a nice feeling. If it so happens that your guy is a more understanding type and there is a valid reason why you are telling him those things, like you want him to know about your past so that your relationship will be better or because you want to be completely honest with him (usually this happens if the relationship is already strong), then I guess its ok. My husband knows all about my past, he even met some of my Exs and I think he is ok with it, after all, its him I choose to spend the rest of my life with.

When i was dating i found that talking about the past to new relationships never went over to big.But as someone else put it it depends on how deep the relationship is.because now im married and we talk about everything and everything. Unfortunately i dont like hearing about my husbands ex girl friends but when he says something about one of them and i start feeling jealous i tell him.then he comforts me and reminds me im his wife.I slip sometimes and say something about one of my exs and he does the same thing,he will say i dont really care to hear this.I reassure him that he is my husband then everything is fine.So in closing i guess it depends on the couple? for me and my husband we can talk about the past but we prefer not too.

Talking about them in a friend sense or telling stories is completely okay but you really should wait until you are sure that the person you are with is ready to hear it and knows that you are theirs and will not leave them for an ex to begin talking to them about anything deeper.

I don't prefer my husband to talk about his ex. I will get really upset hearing about that. One reason must be I don't have an ex. to talk about. i am very possessive about these matters. Sometimes a just mention about his ex. makes me pisted off.

i think it all depends on how you say it. when you are in the topic, share some and don't brag about everything. it is like opening to a friend.

Personally UI think that there is nothing wrong in telling your partner about your exs boyfriends. I think you are being honest with him and telling him the truth about your past.

I think that in relationships, it may be necessary to discuss ex-boyfriends and girlfriends if they're still in your life. However, I personally think it's just that most people don't like being compared to others and might find it insulting to be compared to someone else that the person has dated. I personally wouldn't tell my boyfriend about an ex-boyfriend unless either he asked or that ex was trying to contact me.