Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Its just you are taking things the other way, i dont think your guy is stopping you from making your own ways. just be with him but make a diferent way for yourself wit a different identity, you both love each other and both need each other in the walk of life.just be with him, as you really mean a lot to him.But if you are not comfortable with this relationship, then you should give a thought for it again. otherwise you should be with him and get married as soon as possible after knowing what exactly you mean to him, because meaning just a support to him or just a care taker is not your identity to be with him i suppose.

Hi lotter i think enough of these threats now ,make this one the last one,and decide not to repeat it or else he will start taking you for granted,that you always say but never go ,so dear never do it again ,and now lets come to ur prblm ,giving threats is never a solution,just give your self some space and try to maintain some distance from him for a few days ,so that he come to know ur importance,and one more thing men ,with ego are very difficult to handle,so handle with care.:) happy my lotting.

My step-daughter has the same problem. Her husband does so many bad things to her, and she says she's miserble. Now, she can tell him she hates him and wants to leave him all day long on the phone, but when they come face to face, she always gives in. (She really needs to leave this guy) But we can't make her. We keep telling her he's not going to change. And he never does. You have to follow your heart. Do what you need to do for YOU! If you don't think he's going to change and the life he wants isn't what you want, then you will never be truely happy. You need to do what is going to make you happy. You don't in 5 years or sooner/later, to look back and say why didn't I do this then? I'm miserble now! You don't want to regret this. Think about your future and talk to him. If you or he can't see himself in it, then do what makes you happy. Good luck.

oh,i do have the same situation with you,i wonder if all the female will come across that situation.Everytime,we quarreled,i would be soft-hearted and decide to start a new life with my hubby, as a matter of fact,my hubby do have a change then,but after about one or two months,his bad habits will come back then a new quarrel begins. Now,i think it thoroughly,now that we love each other deeply and some habits can't be changed easily, why don't i accept it with a peaceful mood? If our bf or hubby takes an important part in our hearts,maybe we should learn to accept something at the same time,we should tell them they also need to respect our feelings.

i think you should go,give up th eild lifeto remove from the new life.you alreadly have threatened to leave 3times,didn't you think it is boiling??Look,forgot the unhappy things,and go ahesd the new life.

I think you should talk with him and point out what you have worried about.

they always fall right back to what they were...why? ajust can't `change someone and mold them into what you wish they were as much as you'd love to. He is who he is. you have to accept him just as he is or move on. you can love someone for all that they are but only you can decide if you can still love them & live with them for the things that they aren't. it sounds as if he too wants to be what you want but he is only who he is. Having been there, it sounds as if it is time to hug and move on. who knows...maybe you'll move back towards each other. If not, I guarantee you will look back and realize it was the right choice. it's tough. wish you the best whatever you decide.

Fortunately I haven't been into that kind of situation and I am not hoping and wishing to bet at your footsteps either. Going back to your case, I believe it is time to set things right, pack and start walking out of that door and never look back. It is not easy but it is not hard either if you start making that first step and as long as you are not moving, you will remain and stuck in that situation. Just remember that things don't happen over night. It could be along ordeal for you to recovery but at least you are not stagnant in that pit. Once is enough, twice is too much. I may sound silly but this will go on and on until the time you snap it and make it straight.

Hi,tracie,If I were you,I would leave at least for some time.You said in your discussion that its the 3rd time you've threatened to leave but failed as usual.Dont make your boyfriend think you were just grouching.It would be too late if he takes it for granted.I suggest you being independent in love. Good luck.

No things happen when you are in a relationship, every one has disagreements here and there. It seems like you all love each other very much but you might need to work on your communcation skills a little better that way things do not get blown out of portion. I have had disagreements with my boyfriend but we love each other very much and we know things are not always happy all the time. Thanks and I hope you guys can work things out.

I have to ask why you'd want to stay if you aren't being included in his planning? Part of being in a relationship is about being able to communicate and work together, and it sounds as if he's a tad on the selfish side. This is really a part of the abuse cycle, that you're describing. They treat you poorly be it this or worse, then cry when you say have enough, then have a honeymoon cycle, and then return to their old ways. You seem like an intelligent young lady, and I'd say get out while you can, before it esculates into something worse. Namaste-Anora

Honestly, things may change for a while, but then they will go right back to how there were before. Its hard, but you may have to leave him and let him see what he let go of before he will honestly change, that is, IF he will change. Its great that he has his life planned out, but when you are in a long term relationship, sometimes you need to make changes to those plans so both partners are happy. I have had my life planned out, but when I met my future husband, I realized that some of my plans would not work out when I thought they would for different reasons. I have not said "Forget this or that" but I have moved things around and readjusted so that things work better for us as a couple.

i've been to situation like this but im much stupid than you are coz i stayed for 5 years .... its far too late when i realized that he will never change , and the situation will never change! i threatened him thousand of times that i would leave but still i stayed.. and the worst of it .. he tell his frends that i'll be before the week ends and i did! but i got devastated when he proposed and i dont see sincerity to his voice! i asked him if his serious and he told me that he proposed also to a particular girl and he was rejected. i cant believe what im hearing that time. out of shock i dont get mad or even cry that time ... the words dont sink in... what sink in to me is that .. im not the first person he asked for marriage! we knew each other since birth?! we've been together 5 years... his the first on everything for me.. i stand up , tap him in the shoulder and said " it's ok, nevermind." then went straight to our apartment and packed my things! when i get to my sister's place i cried none stop! thank god i have 4 wonderful sister!! im wiser now!