Do you ever look back and wonder?

Hi Margajoe dear! I am doing fine, thank you for asking. I hope you are doing great dear friend. haha..There was a time that my husband has left all the chores in the house to me. I felt annoyed that time and upon realizing that he is becoming insensitive with my feelings, he changed a little. LOL! I guess, with all the funny faces that always show on my face made him realize that he is becoming a bad boy. I am glad that somehow he is learning. Take care and blessings to you always dear friend! lovelots..faith

Hi Faith! How are you? Sounds like you have a great loving Hubby. Yes it is weird when we look back and think, how can everything have changed? I have been with my BF for two years. In the beginning I was still working 5 shifts. He helped then, but lately it is getting less and less. He seems to always have had women who took care of him. His mother and his ex wife. He even admitted it to me when I asked. I told him, he is at the wrong address with me. I am not his wife and I need a partner not another child. He looked at me funny as if he was thinking;" She will do the work anyway, I am the man." Things will need to change. I just need to put my foot down more often. I am not the little lady of 18 years old wanting to please her husband. I should have learned my lesson by now. Thank-you for commenting Faith. Take care, blessings and hugs.

Hi Faith! Mine seemed to be learning too. But it never seems to last long. Yesterday he had one of those days. He was so grumpy! It had nothing to do with me, but I cannot seem to take it. I was doing well, started my studies again. Then he ruins my good mood by being irritated. Then I really don't feel like cleaning up. But, he won't do it either. My house is a mess! Take care, blessings to you.

Yes that is exactly what I mean! I am not even married to him! I need cloths, where are my socks, where is this, where is that? Normally it is where he left them, or where it is suppose to be. But if I ask where something is, he does not hear me. I told him today, he has been spoiled by his mother and ex wife. He said they did everything for him. He did not mind. No of course not. Maybe a good idea, putting a sticker on our forehead, MAID! Why do we end up doing everything? Would'nt it be nice if they were to look after us more? I always thought a man was suppose to look after a women. Take care of her and be sweet. They look after the financial problems and make everything all better. Boy was I wrong! Living in fantasy world, that is not real at all. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

For the men reading this: My apologies. There are also couples where this happens the other way around. It is not always the women, it could also be the man that comes into this situation. Take care.

That is nice to hear. Disagreements are normal. People who say they don't have that, means something is not right. You sound like you have a great and stable relationship. You both are very lucky to have found each other. Wishing you all the best. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Yes, that happens automatically. Why do we do it? Once or twice okay, but we always end up looking after them. hahaha! Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Yes. Maybe because I am together with him for two years, I still need to learn how to ask him in the right way. Any tips? I have asked him things before, and in the beginning that was not a problem. Later he would say he would help and did nothing. Don't tell me you will help me and them forget about. I don't like that. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Yes that can happen too. When I ask him to cook because I have no time. He makes such a mess, I have more work cleaning. Problem is he likes to cook. Now I try to cook before he has the chance. I hate to cook, but I hate cleaning up after him even more. So, maybe he does it on purpose and I end up doing everything. He is smart. hahaha! But it is more the bread crumbs all over the house that irritate me. I tell him to keep a plate under his sandwich. He always eats toasted bread. The crumbs are every where, I don't want any unexpected animals in my house. When my back was still good, I could clean the house faster and better. But, I am not always able to look after everything anymore. I have told him more than once, I need help some times. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

I thought it would, but somehow I did not learn my lesson. I just found myself in the Mother/housewife situation. All of a sudden I am in the role again. Did not think that would happen to me again. I should have learned my lesson by now. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Yes, I must agree with you. I feel taken for granted. I do have to change this. I don't mind helping and doing things, but I don't want to do everything by myself. He should at least clean up after himself. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Takes for sure! It is not really that I regret it. But, after being married, divorced and having bad luck in relationships. I did not think it was possible to put me back into the good house wife part. I believe partners should help each other, do choirs together. I did something wrong. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Yes that is what I think too. But, somehow I just fell into it. I sure don't like being anyone's obedient servant! I have to make sure things change, and fast. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Sounds reasonable. Funny thing is, when you do go back to work he will be so used to you doing everything, that he just won't do it. He will say yes, and then he will have forgotten. Well that is how it went with mine, hope you have better luck. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Oh yes, I was too young when I got married. I was 18. I used to regret it, but lately I think everything has a reason. And no body is perfect, no one is expected to be perfect. Just do your best. Never the less, if I had the chance to do it over again, I would not get married so young. Being young, you think you know what you want, but sometimes things just turn out so much different. That does not mean it is wrong, or that you should regret it. It is a lesson in life, something you learn from. Like you I like the simple and happy life too. But somehow life is just not always simple. That is okay. Looking back, I think everything did have a reason. (like you I wish some things would have been different too. But the past made me who I am today.) And yes partners should work together, but somehow I just slipped into the Mommy role! I don't regret it, just I don't understand how he got me this far! I have to do something to change this. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Yes absolutely. I put myself in this situation. Thing is I did not realize it. It went so slowly and easily. Yes I will talk to him more often. We used to talk a lot, that is what is wrong now too. We will work it out. Thank-you for your advice. Take care.

I feel for you too! You have it more difficult than I do. I have only been with my BF for 2 years. Men somehow turn into one of the kids. You think 3 children are enough to handle and then the BF becomes one too! Funny thing is you don't realize how it got to be this way. It happens slowly. Communication. Yes that is true. Seems in the beginning we had the best communication. But lately even that has gotten less. We need to work on that. I wish you all the best. Thank-you for commenting. Take care.

Thank-you very much. Yes I agree with you, I too like to work outside. In the beginning he was helping me with the dishes and cleaning after his bread crumbs. I hate crumbs! We have discussed this, and he says he will help. But than he starts to do the dishes and stops half way. He does cook. He likes to cook, but won't clean up. I mean, you could at least rinse off the stuff you use. And wipe of the stove. That gets so hard to clean when you don't do that. Then I would rather cook myself. But maybe that is what he wants? I just find it so weird that I could find myself looking after a man like that again. He is not a baby! I already raised two children, I don't want a child anymore, I would like to have a man. Someone that takes care of me too. We could take care of each other. Guess I am living in fantasy world. Take care.

Yes I can see your point. When I was young, I did that. But, I don't want to feel used, neglected. I want some respect. I am not his maid. Sure I clean the house, but if I were living by myself it would be a lot easier. I have a bad back. I have a very small house, he could help me. If he would only clean up after himself, that would be great. I just feel it is all coming from one side. No co-operation and sharing as you out it. Even when he makes himself a sand witch or gets something to drink. He gets it and forgets to ask me. I always ask him if he wants something. Mostly I just bring it to him without asking. He was different two years ago. These little things, they are starting to irritate me. Take care.

Hahahaha! I really don't know why they think it is a maid/mommy thing. Mine woke me up because he could not find his other sock. As if I am responsible for his stuff. I am also a bad sleeper, I do not like being woke. Then I cannot sleep anymore. Does he think about that. No, rather wake me up, than look 10 cm further. But you know what puzzles me the most? Is how I got myself doing all these things. Somehow I just rolled right into it. But, I will remember the one about the underwear. Next time he has no underwear, I will tell him to turn it inside out too. Maybe I will hide his clean ones and see if he does turn it inside out! Thank-you for your advice. Take care.