What parenting advice/ issues do you disagree with?
By lumenmom
@lumenmom (1986)
United States
March 25, 2009 2:20pm CST
I saw a similar discussion on this on another site and thought it wuld be interesting to bring the question up here. For myself, the one thing I cannot understand is why people spank a potty training child just because he/she does not get it right? I know too many people who just start spanking the child as soon as they see they have soiled themselves and the child has no idea what they are being hit for. The worse part of it is when I question the reason, the answer usually winds up being something like "diapers (pampers) cost too much" or " I don't like cleaning up after them, they should be able to clean themselves". It has nothing to do with trying to teach the child.
2 people like this
7 responses
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
26 Mar 09
I definatly do not agree with a spanking because of potty accidents. Often kids will wet from being fearul. Or the just are not ready yet. Gentle approaches with firm ruitine goes so much further than anger. I do know this from experiance since I have potty trained 4 of my own as well as several daycare children. Positive reinforcement is Always the way to go!! Any one disagree?
@kimberlynnF (170)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I disagree with screaming at a child, or telling them they will be nothing. I also hate that some parents compare one kid with another and tell them that one is smarter than the other, or better than the other. I also disagree with hitting a child with an object such as a belt, stick, or paddle. I disagree with parents whipping their kids. A smack or a slap is one thing as long as it isn't in the face... but parents can break bones when they get angry and go too far. My mom got a broken tail bone from being picked up and thrown onto a cement floor in their basement when she was 12 years old.
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
10 Apr 09
All of the things you mentioned sounds like abuse to me. To think your mom had to suffer a broken tailbone, I can't imagine what she could have done that was so bad. Most of the time the punishment is much worse than the crime, especially when it comes to children.
@Jae2619 (1483)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Parenting issues that bother me is when parents will not correct their child when they have done something wrong, but feel they can point out when your child has done something wrong. Really irks me the most. I punish my child for everything he does wrong, and i feel when there's a group of children playing together, the fairest way to punish them, it punish them all. Make them all take a time out or what ever but there are some that won't do that, they will insist their child did nothing wrong and let them go play, as the other kids sit and have time out. It's such a double standard.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
25 Mar 09
Wow, I could come up with a list that's for certain. I agree with you, I don't agree with spanking what so ever. I also don't agree with making your child clean up his or her mess when toliet training. They are STILL learning. I don't agree with humiliating your child, or saying mean things to them. I diagree with people who say you should just lock your child in his or her bedroom when teaching them to use their toddler bed. It seems cruel and unusual punishment and seems it would cause more psychologicla damage then if you just worked slowly.
This is a really good discussion and one we definately need to have as parents.
Namaste-Anora
@kimberlynnF (170)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I stand with you on this. I agree with you! Spanking or hitting is really old school now days..we have supposed to have been taught to do better now. Parents tend to parent how they were parented. I would suggest some parents take parenting classes before becoming a parent.
@blion23 (403)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I think that parents try to give children too much responsibility at a young age. I have seen parents that are not willing to clean up their children's puke and tell them to clean it up themselves. That is just not necessary. If you give birth to a child, you are responsible for the safety and welfare of them. I also agree with what you said about spanking. Children are still children and they really do not deserve to get spanked. I don't think that violence is the way to teach children and is completely useless to getting your point across to them.
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
10 Apr 09
I could not agree with you more. I now several parents that will not clean up their children's puke and will even spank them for not getting to the bathroom in time. I know one child who got beat for not washing the dishes properly but I later found he was never taught how to do them, he was just told to do them. His feelings were so hurt becuase he thought he was doing it right. I think in general if these type of parents would be more supportive of their children, we would see a lot more well adjusted children in our society.
@pentaluda0878 (118)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I hate being told that you will spoil an infant if you hold them to much. For my own personal sanity it isn't better to just sit there and let them scream, so how can it be good for them?!
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
10 Apr 09
I hear that one a lot myself, but yet when they get older and want all the gadgets, shoes, expensive clothes, etc and the parents break their necks to get them these things, to me that is spoiling them. I don't think you can ever show them too much lov and affection.
@okkidokitokki (1736)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I disagree with a certain family member who will not take way the gaming systems from the children when they misbahave because "then what will they do?" Please people get a grip. (I just don;t get it, send them outside.)
I also disagree with people who think that anykind of spanking, including a swat (gentle but firm) is child abuse.
Wow, I could go on forever but I will stop with this last one: Parents who have not potty trained their children by the time the child is three. Unless the child has a medical problem thay should be potty trained and you do not even have to spank them to get them to not mess their pants.
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
1 Apr 09
Another benefit of taking away the gamimg system, or limiting it's use even the child not not misbehaving, is that it forces the child to come up with imaginative ideas of what to do with their time. They get a chance to see how creative they can be.
