What would you do if you were her?

yeah i'd go back to my father i mean why not he's her family and a father is forgiving and suppoertive of their children all she has to do is go back appologize work her way to earn his trust and approval that's what family is for right?????

I might CONTACT my father but whether that turned into anything else would depend entirely on his response to that contact. If it were promising, then perhaps we'd revive our relationship. If it was not, well then I would support the kid alone regardless. There are ways to do that, from taking advantage of programs that help lower income people and single parents to relying on any friends that offered their help. The point being, I would not give him a chance to bleed toxicity into my life again, no matter what. I'd give him one chance to be a 'bigger person' and to prove he was a good dad, but if he blew it, end of the road. As a parent myself, I cannot imagine disowning my kids because of who they chose to be with. What I think is wrong is that her family even thought they had a RIGHT to approve or not! She was in college - she was a legal ADULT! Whoever SHE chose to be with was up to her and her alone. It was none of their business and they should have had nothing to say about it one way or another. I think it was highly immature and rude of her family to 'force her to choose between them', and had it been me, I would have written off my entire family without a backwards glance. They had nerve. Of course there are LOTS of people who act just like that, and I dont have much respect for THEM either. I would definitely rather form my own support system of friends and rely on them, since if they were my friends, they would WANT to help and not be judging me nor forcing me to choose between people. Family can be really really odd. They aren't entitled to acting like jerks, even though people think they can BECAUSE they are family. Biggest falsehood out there.

For the sake of my kids i will come back to my father. I will drop all those pride and everything the important is the future and my kids survive as i can't support the kid alone. I know father is always a father and seeing thier grandchild will touched his heart.

i will not go back to my father..he dont want me anymore amd i dont want to be the burden for my family again. i will leave that useless husband start a new life with my kids...it is hard very hard but gie a try..im sure everything will be alright.

No loving parent abandons their children. Well, this is my point of view. She chose him over her father, a father will say that to her daughter because he cares. Because he knows what a man is because he is one. He knows the risk. Choosing over family and a lover is one major problem in love today. Majority would choose love, some people choose love without thinking because he or she loves him, without even thinking what lies in the future. What the father is showing is love and concern, some children take it as if it is a threat or something, or forbidden love story, but that is not the case, it is a case of securing a good future for the child. For me, I think the girl didn't think this through that is why she chose the man she loves, but look what happened, a battered wife and a child whom she can't support. I would say go back to your father. Sure the dad disowned her, but, disowning a child is like saying you are nothing in my life, then what are those chouces for anyway? That means he cares. I am sure he will accept you in some ways. Just apologize and tell him what you realize. Life is tough I am sure of that.

This would be a really hard decision for anyone to make. I think if she went back to her father he would allow her back and help her take care of her baby but on the other hand he kicked her out of his life because she feel in love and that is incredibly wrong. I think i would try to make it by myself and do all i could to take care of my child and if i really really needed help i would go back to my father not for me but for my child.

It would depend. If her father relented when he saw that he had a grandchild, then if I were her, I would go back. But I would rather have him see the grandchild alone (with myself hiding just in case the old man decided to harm his grandchild when he found out about her or him.) and if he was moved to tears, I would know that I could go back, but if he tried to harm the child or slapped him or her, then I would try to make it on my own. I would also go to Social Services or the authorities to get that lazy bu*m who sat in his backside and would not support me to pay for the upkeep of our child.

Indeed! Where else can I go? Afterall he is my father and when kids make mistake parents should forgive them after realization of my fault. On the other hand, when she decided to go with him, then they both must have been doing good, bad patch are bound to come in life but we need to face them with strength, which that guy didn't. That was his real test and he failed in it. May be that test wasn't done by the girl when she planned to get married. I am sure that after 3-4 months that guy would come back to the girl to have her company again.

hmm... thats a big fix.... parents are always there for you no matter what you do.. i think if she has no choice she could at least try and go back and see what her father says..... from her life before.. it seems as if her parents loved her very much......

yes,of course,i will go back my parents' house.they will accept me together with my kid.the parents are the first people we trust and also the last ones.they love us without any conditions.though we havd done wrong and made them sad.they will forgive us and give help to us,they will do everything they can to help us.so,please go back to father.

The girl should apologize to the father. Even if she didn't follow her father. Her father will understand because their the most important person to their heart next to his wife. Also the girl can't endure her child being homeless and starving. The love of her parents will be the answer to that.

if i were the girl, ofcourse i'll go back to my parents house and admit my wrong all this time... but i bet my parents will accept me and my kids...

She made the decision in the first place, and it wouldnt be right to go back to the father just for the money. If she did contact her family, it should just be to build bridges, not just because suddenly she needs them. She's managed 10 years of work, supporting the lazy hubby and the kid, so surely to god she should just get another job and do what she used to. Theres always some sort of support group however for battered women, and she will find that she can go to a charity and they can at least give her a place to stay whilst she gets back on her feet.

Well...Thats not really the easiest of choices..The father was in the wrong. Love, especially unconditional as a parents should be, should have kept him from completely disowning her. And probably there was no contact between the two in ten yrs. If I were the father I think I'd feel guilty, and I'd want to get to know my grandchildren. Returning to the father would provide him with a chance at seeing his grandchildren and repatching things with his daughter. Its easiest to go back to the father, he can of course Afford to support the child and he likely would not turn them away. Sometimes though, The easy path isn' t always the right one. I was engaged to a guy that was abusive, and while I did not have a child to leave with I did have a pet Dog. Moving back in with my parents was harder on me then it was on them. I always feel like Ive been something of a burden. If I were in this girls shoes, I'd call the dad and ask him for a loan. Explain what is going on , and start workign at rekindling a relationship from afar, where neither is after a benefit from the other, but simply Wanting to have a relationship with that person. Loans can be repaid, and burnt bridges rebuilt. But that takes time. I guess what I'm saying is I'd find a way to not fully rely on the father, but rather just ask him for a hand up.

i am not from a wealthy family. nor i did not elope. but i left my husband for he is a very abbusive person. i went back to my family for i have four children and of course i can not raise them alone. i went back to my family. of course they will say something about it. that is their right. i take all those things they said but they accept me. now i can say that i am stable, my four children are all in school. it was a rough road to start but now i can say i am okay. family is always there to help. they will be nagging and blaming and there will be rule i am sure but i am sure her family will welcome her back.

[i]Hi laydee, I will for sure go back to my Parents hoping they will accept me back and forgive me....and I am ready for whatever decision they will have when they will see me and my baby and I will never go back to my husband![/i]

yes, i'd go back to my dad. he is my father afterall. And if he is a normal father (loving and all), he will take me in. Of course there is the initial stage of fear and getting scolded. but 10 years!!! the old man's heart would soften (in normal circumstances). If you notice i keep emphasizing normal circumstances because i have seen elderly people die bearing a grudge. And it's terrible and heart-breaking to watch. But back to the discussion, if i were that girl, i would return to my family.

Me no!!I would not even think to go back to my father.He dared to send away his child,because she got in love?What to wait for him?If he can not support his child and after years not regretting it,does not worth trying.I would find a job,some good friends or other relatives and look after my kid.He will be happy for this coclusion!!

there's a saying that "blood is thicker than water". maybe after so many years, her father has forgiven her. if it's okay between the two of them, then it's time for her to do something that would make him proud. i don't think that her father would be angry to her for the rest of his life.