Time to oil the creaking gate
By p1kef1sh
@p1kef1sh (45681)
March 27, 2009 12:40pm CST
There has been a sad loss from the old ancestral pile, P1kef1sh Towers, this week. Old Creaky, faithful manservant to myself, my father, grandfather and great grandfather has at last been let go. After 100 years in service to the family it was all beginning to be too much for him. So, it was to the family archives I went to see just what the etiquette is to release a servant. That quickly solved my problem. Old Creaky's father was let go on a fiver. Allowing something for inflation I let him go with £50 and saying that he could do worse than use the money at the £1 store for a new overcoat and umbrella. The night was bitterly cold, but he had to go. I have a new dilemma now. Old Creaky was around so long that none of us know exactly what the requirements of a good personal servant are. In this age of equality, should I automatically employ another man. A woman might do just as well. What do you think the attributes of a good personal servant are in this day and age?
4 people like this
11 responses
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
27 Mar 09
I think you should have kept him, and just bought a can of WD-40 to take care of the creaks and squeeks. Nowadays most people get married to acquire a personal servant, and if you want to get rid of them, it's going to cost a lot more than the £50. Just ask Paul McCartney...lol
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
28 Mar 09
Personally, I think you need to hire a sturdy woman...possibly 45-48 years of age. Very secure in her own self worth. And totally capable of whipping the ol p1key into shape!!! (WEG) 
Then if you beg properly, maybe she'll allow you to scrub the floors & dust the knickknacks for her!!! 
Then if you beg properly, maybe she'll allow you to scrub the floors & dust the knickknacks for her!!! @LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
29 Mar 09
Yes you do. You might also want to consider a lady between 55-60. She should have much more experience than the 45-48 year old. Good luck in your quest my friend!!! 
@mummymo (23706)
•
27 Mar 09
I think you should hire a woman - a Scottish woman to be specific. You do realise that live in servants these days have to be treated very well - they demand breakfast in bed and to be given access to your wireless connection. You have to spend lots of time chatting and sharing coffee and cakes with these nice, Scottish , internet mad women servants too. I wonder if I can think of anyone who would fit the bill! xxx
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
28 Mar 09
Hi p1key,
Awwwww, after all these years how could you let Old Creaky go? poor Old Creaky had to leave the Pike Towers, can't you just let him live out his days there instead of letting him go in the cold wind rain across the plain, "Come back Creaky, come back" and poor old Creaky carried on walking not hearing p1key calling him back, with tears running down his face, he felt lost unwanted thrown out and worn out with just £50 pounds in his pocket that won't get him far, so as he trodden down the windy plain, he spied an old unused barn with some hay, as he laid his waery borns down upon it, he cried like he never cried before and laid down to die and yet still hpeing that p1key would find him and take him home to Pike Towers. Hugs.
Tamara
xxxx
xxxxx
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
28 Mar 09
Hi p!key,
As p1key fogets about him, he gets a young spritly thing, taking care of it and looking admireling at it, Old Creaky lays in the hay his olb bornes decaying, but just think he would have put a lot of iron in the ground which is good right? or if the horse get fed with the same hay, he would have iron in him and get strong. Hugs.
Tamara
xxxxx
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
27 Mar 09
The same as they've always been--discretion, respect, efficiency. Discretion is pretty hard to find these days when servants can sell stories to the tabloids for thousands of dollars!
Did you really take out your gate? What are you replacing it with? I've always wanted a nice iron gate with a dragon on it.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
28 Mar 09
Hey p1key! I'm not sure what the hell you are talking about
so I have no idea how to answer this discussion? Who did you
have to get rid of now? Was it actually a human? I don't
quite get your English speak sometimes so I don't want to
respond to hastily and get this all wrong now! So will you
please let me know what you are talking about?
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
28 Mar 09
LOL. According to my discussion Old Creaky was my valet. Personal servant etc. I retired him with a most generous payoff and now I need a replacement Opal. It's a tricky job looking after me so I need to know exactly what qualities the new person that I hire should have.
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
29 Mar 09
I am sorry but maybe I did not understand you right! You have a servant that has worked for your family for at least 100 years and all you gave him after letting him go is enough to get a coat and umbrella! Have you got any decency in you? I mean if someone was to work for my family for that long I would have gave them a wonderful retirement and make sure they was taken care of. He put you ahead in his life for that long he deserves it! You know speaking fro someone who knows how hard it is to take care of family or friends. It is very hard to please people for that long! You should have at least giving the man a great retirement so that he can live the rest of his life in peace and be fine! I think you where not very nice if all you gave him was the boot and money to get a coat and umbrella! Well, you know what they say "What goes around comes around!!"
**Peace and Love get's you through everything in Life**
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
29 Mar 09
Oh dear. I knew someone would take me seriously. Trust me, if I was really as heartless as you think that I might be; I wouldn't write here about it. LOL. The whole "discussion" is just a joke and isn't meant to be anything but lighthearted. Sorry if I confused you.
1 person likes this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
27 Mar 09
I've always wanted an Alfred. If he looked and spoke like Michael Cain the better lol. (Ok, so I've always had a soft spot for him). But I agree, I've wanted someone who could do the day work, and allow me to be free to be fully with the children. Someone who knew all of my business, yet held it in strict confidence. I suppose an all around sort of person. Namaste-Anora
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
27 Mar 09
I'm sure you know the story of The Little Princess. When I was very young I wanted to have a man like the one that served the old man next door. Or an Indian couple to be care sitters like in Anna and the King. I've been giving great thought to finding a teaching post through a colleague's friend in India. Maybe one day. Namaste-Anora
