tough choice

Being honest to ones feelings is great. But sometimes it hurts. Be strong enough to accept whatever ur best friends reaction would be. Wholeheartedly accept to be able to be challenged and find ways to deal with it. Maybe this is one of the trials you are encountering being friends...

I've been in your shoes before, only the other way around. I had a friend, and for several years we were close friends. She knew me as well as the back of her hand. There was nothing like a secret between us. I cared a lot about her, but at that time I was in a relationship, and whenever I had fights with my girl, she was the first to know. Then I was away from her for a year, and in the process my girl left me, which was really a painful experience. I came back later, but was told she had moved. I lost contact with her for 6 extra months. Then one day, at a cafe, I met her at the door. As our eyes locked, I suddenly felt this unusual wave of affection envelope me. She screamed when saw me and flew straight at me. But I wasn't carried away by that. I had seen something-LOVE. I had found it! She was the one for me, all those years I just skated around her and couldn't see. But at that time, It all became clear to me. My love for her surged as high as crude oil on its first pump. Later on, she told me she had felt that way all along, but hoped I felt the same way too. Dear randiss, sometimes we just need one moment to let ourselves loose. Don't push yourself on him, except he's the kina guy worthy of that much exposure. I know what I'm saying. I'm a guy. We guys can sometimes read things differently. All he needs is one moment. Give him so time,be the same girl. Try talking of relationship based topics, and ask him personal questions. His response will determine the rest. Dont however take it to mean he'll respond positively. IT may be him, or maybe not. But you'll surely find true love. Later Hun!

I would let things play their course, naturally. One thing about "being friends", Once you become physically involved, you can never go back to being just friends. I would think long and hard about it. Look at it this way, if it is meant to be, that you and him are more than just best friends, it will be. Having a Best Friend is a precious comodity, remember that. If you were to say something to him and his feeling were not the same and he did not reciprocate on the level you were expressing, where would that leave your friendship short of feeling awkward? I can imagine how you must feel. I understand. If this were me, I would go about our usual best friend business. I would wait until things were light and bubbly. I would bring it up, something to the effect of "What if two best friends were both actualy in love with each other but neither of them bothered to day anything"? What's a better way to break that ice? I wish there was the perfect movie to refer to you for the both of you to wastch, where two very best friends had mutually larger feelings for each other and beyond all awkwardness, they both found their own unique way to express it. How sweet! You could just wait until you both are teasing, play fighting/wrestling and just plant a nice long kiss on him and see how he reacts. Just remember, you will never be able to go back to being just friends should you both take this friendship any further. It will never be the same as it is right now. How much is what you have now worth to you? I believe however that two people must be best friends, first in order to be successful partners. Perhaps you both have the perfect ingredients for your relationship to be more than best friends and he is actually thinking and feeling the same as you but just doesn't know how to say it. Instead of feeling that difficulty to share your feelings with him, realize the difficulty you are feeling is actually fear. Fear of the unknown. The unknown of how he is going to react and his possible rejection. That is why I said wait until the scenario is light and bubble and bring it up as a hypothetical situation, re: "What if two people were best of friends but they in fact were both in live with each other but neither could tell the other"? Wait for his reaction and go from there.

Hey Randiss just continue to be nice and a caring best friend to him. Let him realized later you deserve each other more than to be best friends. My husband was my best friend and he would always come to me for advises everytime they had a misunderstanding. We're like brother and sister but when they broke off after a while he told me he realized I have all the qualities he was looking for. We became sweethearts and after two years got married. What differs, I don't have a crush on him, we really treated each other as best friends and we just found out much easier to shift our feelings from best friends to lovers.

What is the worst thing that can happen? If he truly is your best friend and he is not interested in you romantically your friendship will eventually recover. Why not ask him to do something away from the crowd and try something subtle like holding his hand or resting your head on his shoulder and see how he reacts. You never know, he may be thinking and feeling the same way about you. If he rejects the idea of romance it will hurt but you will get over it and at least you will have tried and it's good practice! You may go through several relationships before you find the right guy but without the practice you won't be ready when the real thing comes along.

I had a similar problem in high school. I had more guy friends, and I got to crushing on a very good friend of mine. When he admitted he felt the same, things got weird between us. Neither of us could handle the pressure it put on us, since all of our friends knew how we felt, they expected us to do something about it, and in the end, it almost ruined what we had. I wouldn't say that happens to everyone, and you might get lucky and things will work out. If you don't say something you might always regret it. You never know. Just the way things worked out for me weren't ideal.

You really are having a big problem there and I think you have to choose what you think will be better for both of you. You can either choose between friendship and love because once friends, always friends. But since you have developed a feeling then once you tell it to your friend then I guess there will be an awkward feeling that will come out in between the both of you. If would be better if he will be the first to say it but what if he only really treats you as a friend? It is a gamble, a game of chance. I will support you if you want to say it and I will also support you if you want to just keep it yourself. But admitting a feeling to a friend is something I have already had an experience. My friend when I was in college happened to have developed a feeling for me and after admitting it I just went away from him. The reason is that I felt like betrayed because I treated him nice and just a friend but after all those times that we were together then he will say things like that. We never talked after that confession he made. Another reason is I never really have feelings for him so that was our ending. In case your friend has a feeling for you then chances are you will really end up being boyfriend and girlfriend. But friendship is no longer like before, things will be different but as long as you two knows how to value the friendship, I believe that lovers can still be at the same time friends in a manner that they are the only one who knows it.

Do you feel like he is going to say something to you? If not I guess you can open up to talk to him and see what happens. I think if he likes you, he would do something to let you know his feeling.

I think anytime you change a relationship to a different level you are taking a chance. By letting your relationship go to a romantic place, there is always a possibility that things might not work out. There are a couple of things to consider. First, if you all part of the same group of friends, if things don't work out, will it be too hard to be around not only him, but also your other friends if he is there? Second, if he really is your best friend, do you want to risk losing the relationship entirely, if the romance goes bad? If you hold back because of either of these reasons, you might want to wait. If your ready to truly risk it all, than I would ask him if he could ever think of you as anything more than a friend.

hi randiss... If I am to choose, I would rather tell him the truth than to keep it as a secret. You do not know if he has also the same feelings for you. What if he is also afraid that your friendship would be lost after telling you about his feelings. There's nothing wrong about telling your real feelings to a person regardless of being a male or female. It may set you free. Even If he will tell you he has no special feeling for you, do not take it as a big deal. You may tell him whatever you would confess to him, nothing would be changed with your friendship.

It is difficult to choose,feels,grasps happy!!!

Do you have any clue that he might have the same feeling?? Be prudent before you tell him. I had several male friends before I got married.I once believed that we could have the pure relationship beetween women and men.But all turns out wrong.Several of my best friends finally told me the same feeling as yours. This scares me!!!Because I took them as forever friends.After that we are both embarrassed.