is it easier to FORGIVE or to FORGET?

It is certainly easier to forgive but as to forgetting, it is alot harder. I also believe that it does depend on the situation as well. There are people that I can't forgive because they have done something on purpose. There was a time where a woman met my good friend. She set me up to fall. She had told her man, my friend, that I was trying to put a wedge between them which is not true. I support the relationship regardless of my own feelings about this woman. Here is what I mean. She asked me one day if she was good enough for her guy, and I told her that she was. The reason why I said that was because I saw how much he cared for her and I want to see my friend happy. Good friends do that. So it got to the stage that she fed her man, my friend lies. As he supported her, it affected the friendship. Now I can forgive him because he cares for her and supports her, but as for her, I can't forgive her because she did it to destroy the friendship. She was very insecure because of me. I also feel that she was jealous of me. So it does depends on the situation.

Hello pinks17! For me, it's easy to forgive someone but it's hard to forget. We can't just forget what happen especially if it's something that hurt us. I easily forget someone and although, there's no hatred anymore, everytime I see the person, I always remember what happen but the feeling is different though.

Yes it is easy to forgive but you can never forget. it always stay in the back of your mind.

I have absolutely no problem at all forgiving, but forgetting is a different story. I can't forget a situation from which I've learned something, either by a good example, or a bad example. If I were to totally forget the situation, I'd forget what I learned from it. Forgiveness, however, is no problem for me. A lot of people mistake not forgetting for holding a grudge, but it's not.

It's definitely easier to forgive than forget. Forgiving can just be in a form of gesture that everything's ok but forgetting is kind of embedded on our mind that no matter what, what he/she has done will always leave a mark and it will only take a little snap to bring everything back. It's like everytime you see that person, his/her image will bring you back to the time where he/she has made the mistake though you choose to let it go because it's already over.

Same here. I can forgive, but forgetting is not easy. The human mind is not made to forget certain incidents, simply because the memories are meant to help us learn our lessons on our life path. If we forget, then we will end up making the same mistake again. But if we forgive, we give ourselves a chance to trust again. Cool, isnt it? :)

Forgiving comes before forgetting that's why it is easier to forgive than to forget. Because you can always forgive the person who wronged you or what but still can't forget what really happened. It is not that you haven't forgiven the person, you are just not over it yet. You can't forget because it is scarred in your mind and heart. That's what I think about the issue on forgiving and forgetting.

Hi Pinks17 I think it's easier to forgive, as the human brain is too strong to wash away any incident. If you forgive someone, you have a feeling in yourself, that's like, a feeling of pride, a feeling of humaneness, and a feeling of doing something good. I would love to forgive my enemies, rather than forget them, only if I am given a chance to do so. [i]Regards, AJ-Rox[/i]

I can forgive but almost never forget. Trust me they say us ladies have a memory to be recogned with when we've been wronged! *LOL*

Forgiving is much simpler than forgetting...especially if you're a woman. A woman's memory is etched in granite! An incident will be recalled years later and used, if only as an example of why you're upset today. Men have notoriously short attentiion spans and even shorter memories. We tend to forget quickly, therefore creating forgiveness because we don't remember.

I think you have to forgive, even if the other party doesn't request it or care if you do. You have to let that go just to free yourself from the weight of the incident. I honestly believe, though, it's impossible to forget. I also think that you'd being doing yourself a disservice to not learn from an experience, but simply put it behind you. You would only be setting yourself up for a similar type of experience in the future.

I think so many people believe in forgive and don't forget but of what use is that. I think, if I have to forgive I must forget too.so I would say the two must go together

When you forgive someone who had caused you so much pains, its easier to forget. But when you just forget it but still there the haterd in your heart, Oh pinks17! the heavy load in your heart still unlessened. So why not forgive first, that is the first step of unloading all your grievances then the next step is forgetting. it's a matter of time to heal wounds. It's like when God forgives you in all your tresspasses, he will erase or forget all of those. The page in the book of life where your name is written is empty. Its because he had forget all of those sin you have done.

u shud forgive,coz it suite ur gueisture,i know it is hard but we shud kind so person which has done mistake also start to respect us

We have heard the saying many times that, “It’s easier to forgive than to forget,” but the truth is that unless you are capable of forgetting you never really forgive. Forgiveness is the act of excusing someone for their offense but unless you are also willing to forget their transgression you aren’t truly forgiving them. Refusing to forget a wrong action against you results in a lingering grudge between you and the other person. Although you may have told them that you have forgiven them, the memory of their actions remains with you and creates a prejudice towards them that results in a lack of trust in the future. True forgiveness involves both forgiving and forgetting and this can be achieved by understanding your own feelings as well as those of the person who wronged you, expressing your feelings in a rational matter, realizing that your relationship is more important than being right and finally accepting your partner’s apology. You may have been wronged in a situation and your feelings of anger may be completely justified but it’s important to truly understand your feelings in order to forgive and forget. It is imperative that you realize that the actions of the other person may have hurt you or made you angry but that reacting in a hostile manner as a result of these feelings is not beneficial to your relationship. While your feelings of hurt of anger may be justified, taking the time to work through these emotions before offering forgiveness will help you to forget your partner’s words or actions. If you rush to offer forgiveness before you have had the opportunity to vent your own frustrations it will be difficult for you to forget your partner’s wrongdoing. You also need to understand the feelings of the person who offended you. It is also important to speak to your partner about why they committed the offense against you. It is not fair to them to make assumptions about why they acted the way they did. Giving them the chance to express their side of the situation will give you a better understand of why they acted the way they did. You may learn that everything was a misunderstanding or that you were not hurt intentionally. Allowing the other person a chance to offer their take on the situation will enable you to see their motives. Understanding your own emotions as well as your partner’s will help you to really forgive and forget. Dealing with your own emotions in a calm and rational manner is also crucial to forgiving and forgetting. Your partner may be wrong and you may be completely justified in your feelings of anger but it’s important that you not act strictly on emotion in this situation. Acting and speaking out of anger can elevate the tension in the situation and deter the forgiveness process. Give yourself a little time to manage your own feelings and collect your thoughts so that when you approach your partner you are able to speak about your feelings in a rational manner. It’s best to wait until both you and your partner are ready to speak about the conflict in a calm and rational manner. If you are truly interested in forgiving and forgetting when you have been wronged, wait until both parties have calmed down to ensure that neither one speaks out of anger and destroys the chance for true forgiveness. A crucial aspect of forgiving and forgetting is valuing your relationship more than you value being right in an argument. While you may be completely right in a situation, being right is not worth destroying the relationship over. If you are able to put your love for your partner ahead of the vindication of being right you will be more willing to forgive and forget. Also, forgiving and forgetting will allow your relationship to continue to flourish because working through conflicts makes a relationship stronger. Finally you can never really forgive and forget unless you are truly willing to accept your partner’s apology. Harboring feelings that the apology isn’t genuine will damage the relationship because you will never forget their offending action. Listen sincerely to your partner’s apology and have faith in them that there apology is heartfelt and genuine. Then let them know that you accept their apology and are willing to not let this situation interfere with your future interactions. True forgiveness involves not only excusing the transgression but also effectively forgetting it as well. You can not truly forgive someone if you don’t also agree to forget the offense. Refusing to forget indicates a lack of trust in your partner to not repeat the offense. While deciding to forgive and forget is a personal matter a few suggestions for doing so are to understand your feelings as well as the feelings of your partner, taking the time to rationalize your emotions before you act on them, valuing your relationship enough to truly forgive and accepting your partner’s apology with an open heart.

i think both are tough. Still if we try we can manage to forgive someone. But at some point it may not be easy to forget something how hard we try.

Yeah, me too. I can forgive, but cannot forget what has happened. But then again, if you forgive, you should forget isn't it?

It's true that it is easy to forgive than to forget but when you think about real forgiveness, this is the most difficult part, because when you truly forgive a person, who will also have to forget what he or she has done to you. It is not that easy, but to be sincere, it has to be done no matter what. Yes, time will tell i guess for some of us. And what is important is the act of forgiveness, since when we say forgive but does not act according to what we said, then we will just be hypocrite about the word "forgive" if our act does the opposite.

I guess its easier to forgive and not to forget!

Definitely forgiving! its hard for me to forget but its easier to forgive. Based on personal experience its hard to forget. It's like a childhood memory, its embedded in your brain that you can't remove and once you see that person again that part of your brain where that memory is stored would trigger and everything that's happened would flash back and that's worse! I assure you that's worse!