Abuse

I have been through this situation with a former friend. I say former, because I tried everything to help her, but she is so brainwashed that she kept going back to her abusive husband. Believe me, it is not worth your time or energy until she actually decides she wants to leave him. Nothing you can say or do will help. She needs to contact a woman's shelter if she needs help, especially with the violence that can take place. They have the proper resources to help her.

Unfortunately you cannot really help a person until they see the need to get out of a situation. Even when it is Physically abusive relationship and their life is in danger. Because when you try to help someone and they are not ready or seeing what you are seeing they may turn against you going back to the abuser until something worse happens to them as well. Personally I think the Best thing you can try and do for them, is help them to see the trouble that this is causing them, and want to leave the situation. But if they are not seeing it there is not much you can do before they are ready.

I will help a friend who has been abused by telling her to quit with her relationship and just live alone. She should be the one to decide what she wants in her miserable life. If she ask my help then I would help her but make sure that I am prepared in case the boyfriend makes any trouble. If a person is abused we should lend help only if they want to be helped and they are willing to cooperate. I hate people who just let others hurt them without taking any action to depend themselves. I hate violence against women because we do not deserve to be hurt physically or emotionally without us doing anything wrong.

I would find a local shelter. I think she would be safer their. This way too he won't be able to track her down easily. Too it would be safer for your family. Some shelters have resources to help these women get back on their feet as well. They also have counseling programs at these places. Don't be suprised if she takes him back though. It seems to be a trend in a lot of demestic violent situations. But I think it would be helpful to her for you guys to check som of these places out.

Emo Chinese guy also a English learnin beginner,so i try to give some advice if u can understand it will b a big happiness 4 me. Which ever problems i meeet ,firstly , i shud ask myself wut they actually mean to me ,wether i can help sb live a betta life or the problems cud make me know more how to live tha rest of my life ... so wut u do next is Keeping ur frnd in a safer pl ,Figurin out why tha thing happened ,Is it exactly tha man`s fault or not,,,,, Maybe i exactly mean is trying to help everybody not just somebody ,,,,but just try

offer her shelter. Try also to let my friend bear in mind of the things her bofriend is doing to her. have patience if its one or two, but be alarmed if this gonna be done more often. Trash love if still be happening in the future. this is not healthy in a relationship anyway. misunderstanding is normal in a relationship, but having physical injuries is another story. be strong to stand for yourself. of course got hard consequences to come...

I had a cousin who was being abused by her husband. She left him and went and stayed with her parents but I told them that if he made trouble, she could come and stay with me, thinking that he would never think of us...

I would offer her my home to stay at as shelter and I would encourage her to seek counseling and help from the police. I would keep talking to her and being there for her and tell her what she needs to do to get herself safe from this man.

i would have a feild day with the boyfriend, let him meet some of my big friends. but i would let her stay with me, and i would go and get a restraining order for him to stay away from your house and contacting her in away. if he breaks the protecter oder the jerk get locks up. and everytime he lays a hand on her call the cops. there arent guys, men, boys, they are jerks, punks, worhtless. i would just try not to beat the living crap out of him. but he most likey had knocked down her self esteem, help build back up. have her to this site, and let her hear "The Hands That Loves HER" this my song i wrote for abuse woman. www.myspace.com/scottmmaddensrlyric

I would of course offer anthing I can do for her.. Unfortanately people who are in abusive relationships usually never take you up on help.,. WHether its fear or they think it will stop or she thinks he truly does love her. I would be there to help her if she needed it but most of the time they lose all there friends and sometimes there family because of this..

i will help my friend ofcourse she can stay in my place as long as she wants and call their parents,ill talk to her boyfriend and ask him whats going on their relationship and if he make troubles thats the time ill call a police.

very troublesome. I will definitely offer my shelter if she needs it, a shoulder to cry on, and a listening ears; try to understand her; And if her boyfriend kept on pestering her on my residence, then I will call a police right away; I have a my family to protect too; and I will try my best to let my friend realize and face the reality, that she will need to help herself too, that she has to put an end; otherwise, the boyfriend will keep on coming back and pester her.

Yes, I would offer them a place to live. I would feel required to provide a safe place for my friend and any protection that I could offer. I probably would ask my friend to seek counseling though, and if it were really bad and he or she were in danger for her life, I would definitely get the police involved. I really care for my friends and would always want the best for them. This is just how I feel, and I don't know how connected you feel to this person. Before you take her in, realize that it will probably be a very large burden and it is true that it does bring some danger to your family if she stays in your house.

Hello, I worked for 10 years as a advocate for an abuse shelter, and even though you want to be a good friend and save her you are putting yourself and your family in great danger. What you should do is get a list of shelters close to where she or you are at, call them to see if they have a vacantcy, and what there policy is. You can offer to take her to one of these safe houses, however she should file a police report if there is recent evidence of the abuse like bruises or broken bones and get an Order of Protection. If not the shelters can help her get an Order of Protection. Also please know that in most abusive relationships the woman goes back many times to her abuser. The average is 7 times before the either leave them for good or their abuser murders them. You cannot save her until she is ready to save herself, and please no matter what put your safety and your family's safety first. Please help her to seek help and go into a shelter. Most of these shlters can help set you up in a safe home, a job, and a new life after you have been with them for a while. They also sometimes can help out with money for traveling to get her to another state to a friends or families house that her abuser may not know about and cannot find out about. Please let me know if you need more information on this I have tons. I am a victim of abuse and like I said I was an advocate for 10 years. Good Luck and God Bless.

I'd offer my friend help, without a doubt. After all, that's what friends are for. However, i have worked in a shelter for battered women, and I know that sometimes they don't always want help. So, this makes it more difficult for others to give these victims any kind of help that they may need.

Let your friend know that she has a safe haven should the need arise and help her fill out restraining order applications with the court house and file a police report for every instance of abuse to show a judge a pattern of conduct. Help her relocate to another state so this idiot can't find her and change her appearance so he would not recognize her and try stalking her. I would suggest helping her move at least 3 or 4 states away somewhere that she has never lived before and has no connections to anyone that she already knows as this idiot can charm his way into getting that information from her friends, especially if they are not aware of his abuse. Above all, be there for her and let her know that she has a friend to turn to if need be.

If the abuse can be documented (bruises) it should be reported to the police, and he will go to jail for a short time and get some incentive to lay off. If it is not so physical, be wary of escalating the situation with police involvement. The police can't really keep a person from doing anything. Ask your friend about the risk posed to your family by the boyfriend, if she seems very afraid, you should maybe house her somewhere more safe. (Unless you are well armed).

If you don't fear her boyfriend, then I would try to help her understand that she is safe in your home. If she is in your home and the bofriend starts trouble, then YOU can involve the police. That way she doesn't have to worry about calling the law or pressing charges herself. It sounds like she doesn't take action for fear or retaliation. It's one thing to tell a friend that they are welcome to stay, but the situation sounds dangerous. If you and your family can handle it, I would TELL her, to get out of there.