which one??
By eloraburgess
@eloraburgess (10)
United States
April 1, 2009 4:00pm CST
okay.. so I have a situation..
(guy #1) I REALLY like this guy.. and I have since the first day of school.. but I dont know if he likes me.. so I asked him if he likes me and he said only as a friend.. but he acts like he likes me.. all the time!! but in every way he is perfect for me. and he knows that i like him.. everyone I know thinks that he likes me but he said no.. then the other night i had military ball. I went by myself, and so did he. he always came and sat by me and finally he asked me to dance with him. so of course I said yes. He taught me how to waltz ( one where he holds me really close. and it felt so right) and he talks to me all the time. I am in love with him.
(guy #2) he is in love with me. and I like him but not like guy #1. and all I can think about is guy #1 but guy #2 is going to ask me out.. I hate turning guys down. He gave up so much for me and I told him about guy #1 and he said "You said honestly and loyally. but instead you played me n told me the truth in the end. I backed down from fights like I told myself I would never do for you. and left m.h.m. for you because you were trippin on it. I would do anything for you and you feel the same but for someone else.. theres nothing more I can do to try and prove my love or my honesty. I gave you my all because I trusted you.and you broke me. now its your choice."
I feel so bad!
what do I do?!?!?
7 responses
@greatwolf75 (90)
• United States
2 Apr 09
I was in the same situation once, except I was guy #2. The girl played around with me a little here and there but only when guy #1 wasn't around or wasn't on her mind, which was very rare. It messed with me, upset me, at one point crushed me. Finally, I asked her point blank if there was any chance for us to have a relationship without him, and her answer was very upsetting to me. She told me that we could give it a try but if he ever asked her out she would drop me in an instant for him. At that point I was crushed again. I gave up, I knew I didn't stand a chance against Mr. Everything. I'm now in a happily married man, and it's not to that woman. I love my wife. Eloraburgess, please don't play around with guy#2, try and let him off gently, or as gently as possible. Go for guy #1, and he doesn't want to be with you then move on. No matter how you handle this situation, it sucks for everybody except for guy#1 because he's the only one in the equation who has nothing to lose. If anyone cares about how the story turned out with the girl and Mr. Everything, they were together for a while and he cheated on her. She forgave him and then a little while later he did it again. They are no longer on speaking terms. Somehow, I felt better by the whole thing.
@eloraburgess (10)
• United States
2 Apr 09
thank you for your advice. that was the one i was looking for. :)
I think it helps even more when it is coming from a guy. Im sorry you had to go through being guy #2... I am happy to hear that you are a happily married man now.
thank you again for your input. it is greatly appreciated.:)
@deadlyorchid1029 (107)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Greatwolf75 I am so sorry you went through being guy#2 but at the same time I am very happy you were not guy#1. I know that seems so mean but if you would have been guy#1 I would not be your wife now.
It may not seem there is a winning way for you Eloraburgess even if guy#1 never comes around but in time the right #1 will find you and make your life the happiest you could ever emagine. Takeing #2 till #1 comes around will only hurt you and #2 in the end. If your heart is not completly there dont do it the pain is not worth it for either one of you
@soulist (2985)
• United States
1 Apr 09
hmm interesting position. I am actually in a similar one. A friend of mine once told me he liked me then took it back after we kissed and some friends saw us together. Then at a mutual friend's wedding (my best friend to his best friend) he danced with me the whole time, held me close enough that the groom made fun of us that there was no space between us. He walked me back to our hotel room, we always run to hug each other...etc.
but he has said he doesn't have feelings for me, so I started dating someone else, but it isn't the same feelings. it's hard.
@eloraburgess (10)
• United States
1 Apr 09
i know. it is very hard and I dont know if i should wait, or try for the 8th time to have a different boyfriend. but every time.. guy #1 is on my mind more than the guy im with. so? any suggestions?
@zapood (54)
• China
2 Apr 09
Hi,If I were you.I try to forget both of them.If you go out with guy#2,you could not get rid of guy#1,which will hurt guy#2.This is bad.And for guy#1,be careful.If he just wants to be a friend,he should try to keep a little distance away instead of getting closer to you.Good luck.
@710888239 (9)
• China
2 Apr 09
I think you must give up the guy.
does not want,for a trre loses entire forest.
@valpopa (154)
• Italy
2 Apr 09
One thing is clear...if a guy tells you he wants to be your friend it usually means he is not interested. This kinda works both ways as girls who say or present you as their friend have no real meaning in the relationship. If he asks you to go out with him well then it is a different story...that is when you find out if he cares for you or not.
Good luck
@nobzbiz (16)
• Indonesia
2 Apr 09
Hi Eloraburgess,
The feeling for someone we like is absolutely marvelous. Now it's time for you to ask yourself.
Would you prefer love someone who don't love you or learn to love someone who love you?
I myself would prefer learn to love someone who love me. And it works.
Guy who love you will be patient to help you learn loving Him. In mean time, you have to lower your intensity to meet the Guy#1. If not, you will end up liking/loving Guy#1 again.
Well, that's my opinion...
Hope this can help you
@Sabrinali (16)
• China
2 Apr 09
Find the true love of your life, although guy #2 is kind to you, you do not love him so much, it is not fair to him. Although you could stay with guy #2 and may be a couple in future, ask yourself, are you happy then? I think the answer is clear.
