Ego

tell him what you think and both of you decide of whose idea is better

No I do not! Your feelings are yours and therefore very important just like his! The idea of a relationship is to enhance your life not to stifle who you are. Each person should make his or her self feel good not expect someone else to fill that void. If your husband is making you feel less than the wonderful person that you are you may have a problem that needs to be dealt with either by communicating to each other or counselling. I'm not a relationship expert but in my opinion being a good husband or wife means supporting and encouraging each other not putting the other's feelings aside to feed one's ego.

I think with constant encouragement given from both side there is not a need to put one's own feelings aside to make the other feel better. Even small things just give encouragement instead of saying something -ve which most people tends to. Honest praise and encouragement will go a long way. Try this and it works.Oh and giving and receiving many hugs throughout the day !!

You need not to do this. main case with you is that you have large age difference. But since your husband is mature then he can ubderstand all these feeling if he wants.

I always put aside my feelings to make my husband happy and comfortable. but I realized that if too much would be no good. consequently I was a fool by my own husband. consequently very painful.

No you do not need to put your feelings aside to make him feel good. Both of your feeling are important so you need to talk it out. By talking it out neither of you will hurt the others feelings.

NO!!! Why is the husband's ego more important than your feelings? A marriage is an equal partnership and the belief that the husband's ego is more important than the wife's feeling is extremely sexist and outdated. My husband and I are there for eachother, not making one's feelings or egos more important than the other.

I got married at 22 and being brought up in a very conservative home I tended to my husband's needs hand and foot. In the 9 years of our marriage I have come to realise that by being everything he needs, wants etc. I have totally lost myself, who I am, what I want and what I believe in. I have since started reading religious self help pages and come to realise that YOU are the most important person, nobody else. Too many women, myself included sacrifice everything to be the 'perfect-something' be it wife, mother, employee etc but if you do not put yourself first, love yourself and care for yourself you can not expect others to return the favour! I am not saying that you must not try and make your husband happy, as there are other ways of making your husband happy. Dont be like me who realised so late in life that I am actually very unhappy. I also come to realise that I actually miss the old me and have now started taking better care of myself, spoiling myself for a change and sleeping when I feel tired instead of pushing myself to the point of self-distruction. My advise, tell him how you feel, no matter what. He married you for who you are and not be his slave that strokes his ego day after day!