Do your step-children listen to you and what about rules?

Hi there, I am a step mum of two and have my own child,as I am learning every day on how to be a step mum it is definatley a gift to be one!!!!.Especially when it comes to discipline in your own home,I have learn t in my own stride when my step children come and stay with me every weekend now and holidays that I have to give them space and not discipline them so much as I use to.I have noticed a change in my step son,who is a naughty little boy,so I am not going to give him a piece of my own medicine,he doesnt need it he is too smart for his own good and he will learn from his own father who is with me,I am learning to keep my mind open when I need to and speak my own mind not to them but to their father.It is hard I know but when you let go of things it will become easier.My partner and I have been together for three years,and my step children know me well and good enough to settle down with,but to only get through with your step children it takes 7 years to accept to get to know them fully enough,and remember you dont always have to love your step children either,just be their friend and support.I think you need to talk to your partner about him acting onto your son with disapline that is so not right,you need to do that,and tell him so if he doesnt listen to you then I would make him realize and take a day out with him and talk!!! to him to make him listen go out for the night or day,start going away for weekends etc and say ya not mucking around thats the only way to get men to listen to you is to get serious lay the law down.If you cant get your partner to listen enough then the relationship is not going to be good in the long run for you and your son he is being lazy. Hope it works out for you all the best a stepparent

I was the step child and I can tell you that this is on purpose. They honestly do not feel that they should listen to you when their dad is around because you are not their mom and he is their father and so he trumps you. The only fix for this is for your fiance to lay down the law: you are also in charge. It has been 5 years, a serious talk needs to be had, not only should he be consistant on his parenting but he needs to talk to his kids and tell them that you are not going anywhere, and while you are not their mom you are the woman of his house and your wordis equal to his. Good luck with it.

The same things happens in households where all the kids are your own. These children are not at a fun age for listening. As I think of it, a child of any age is no fun to deal with when you don't have the backing of your partner. Is there any way of hiding a camera in the house and then showing your man the differences between his kids listening and them not and how he is the factor. Most men don't know how or don't want to deal with their children even if they are aware of the problem. This has nothing to do with disrespecting you as much as them disrespecting him.