After the breakup will you still call him/her?

It depends on how friendly the breakup was I think. There's no point pretending there is still something there even if you are not a couple any more. If you shared your life with someone for a long time and you are likely to meet up here or there then it's probably ok to ring up on birthdays and such but only if you are still friends. When I split from my ex we would still keep in touch. We lost touch for a while but when I got settled again a few years later I rang him and invited him to visit and he mistakenly thought I wanted to get back together again. We haven't spoken since so it was probably not a good idea.

While I have spoken to some of my Ex's after breaking-up I haven't done it as a general rule because most break-ups are because of fights, arguments, disagreements etc. and there are bad feelings at the time so why talk to someone you don't even like? But I have had some very amicable break-ups to where we both decided that things would just not work out because we were not looking for the same things in the relationship. No reason to be angry at that or the other person as you both are adult enough to discuss it and agree. With those Ex's I have spoken to and even spoken to them not long after break-up to see how each other is doing because we still cared for each other even though we wanted different things and we were still there for each other. But many times people need and should speak to each other after breaking-up because a lot of times those people have children together and no matter what, the children must be considered and each party, if they are both good parents, should have a say in how the child is raised. If you are not communicating then of course this can not happen. And Yes, I absolutely hate self-pitying...that's why I don't do it, I don't want to be one of those people I can't stand because they pity themselves all of the time.

that is not fair to the other party. if you have let go or vice versa then it is time to move on. let that person have their peace of mind. please, do not be selfish, think of the other person's feelings. maturity takes a lot of responsibility at hand. respect the other person's feelings.

Time does heal all wounds, and yeah I wopuld rather them not speak to me anymore after that-at least for a while whether I broke it off or they did. I think it is mean and cruel to call someone or communicate with them after you just broke it off with them. It's also not right to never ever speak to them again though if it wasn't a terrible break up. It's also cruel to be seen with another person in front of your ex again soon after if you did the breaking up.

i want to know the reason for your breakup, since you still love her ,why do you make such a choosen? please share all your pain and experience with us. the solution to a problem often comes from the source, or let time to help you cure the wound. chershing everyday.......

I'm puzzled. If you still love her, why the breakup? I'm assuming here that she broke up with you instead yea? I'm sorry that you guys broke up, but I will not pity you..I believe that you will learn from this experiece something good and become a better man. :) To me, it's better not to linger around, i hate it when loose ends are left untied. If there's even a little sign as to a teeny weeny bit of feelings there, i'd want to try to work things out. If things just can't possibly work out from any angle you see it from, then you should move on and never look back. Take it like as if a door to a chapter of your life is closing. You have to walk on towards that door to the next chapter right? Self pitying is pathetic, i'm sorry to those who aren't strong enough to avoid self pitying, but i will not fall down to that state. I'm glad you think that way too, and i hope you'll find something or someway to ease your heart. Be strong.

I had a girlfriend that I really love, but I broke up with her. After 6 months, I realized that I made a mystake, and want her to take me back. Of course, she refused and said that it was over. I kept calling her, and asking her to date me, but no success. I still want her to be my girl friend back again, but I guess it will never happen because I broke up with her before. Too bad for me.

No i won't. Not anytime soon. Like you said, time heal all wounds so i guess i have to spend that time for myself and away from her. That means i will not call her after the breakup and for a long period of time. Calling her will only make things worse. I guess the right time to call is when we have moved on and willing to start over again as friends.

I like to avoid all contact after a break up although it does depend on circumstances as to whether you even still like the person! My motto is best to move on and leave the past behind. After a while when you both feel well and truly over each other and the pain is gone it may be possible to resume a friendship. Personally I rather not see my ex again and I don't believe I can be friends with someone I was once romantically involved with but every situation is different.

If me, I will not ever call the person who has broken up with me. You are right, it hurts when listen to his voice once again. I would rather to forget this person thoroughly than dwelling the past again. My life still goes on without this person. I am glad I know a much more better guy than him after the break up. Over is over, be brave to face the hopeful future.

If i still have a feelings on that person but then i know that he have already a new love one or he have already a family, surely i would'nt bother or show any signs that i still care and love him.

I actually do.. During the first few months, we still contacted each other.. After that, we don't anymore cuz it really does hurt..

I think I won't,it is a little embarrassed.But I heard many people could be friends with their breakup lover.Maybe they feel it is good.But I can not. :)

we haved a lot of medicine for heal a broken heart. Yes it's true if you had communication to her/him it's not easy for you to move on. my relationship to someone as i remembered. we had a lot of arguments then we back together and again it's commonly repeat afterwards cause we still have communication i cannot controlled to for not responding and not answering when he call me in my phone cause i still love him. it's hard for me to move on cause when it times am alone i thought on him i cannot controlled it. Maybe If someday it's repeat agauin i'll try what you had experiencing to not responced for him. and i'll try to not communicate. thank you for this discussion. God Bless you!!!

If I broke up with someone or he broke up with me, I would not call him. And if he broke up with me, unless I run into him on the street years later, I would have nothing to do with him and even if I still loved him, it would still hurt so the farther away he is from my mind, the better.

I eagerly wait phone calls of the friends whom I like most.If I don't get a call I feel very lonely.I may call them.But I don't do that.My feeling is that they should remember me first.You are a passionate lover.So your feelings are more deep than me.

hi n30wing, Breaking with someone you had love so much is not an easy thing. But that is life anyway. We cannot say easily that one person whom we are loving right now is really the one. Sometimes, eventhough you spent so much years together, it doesn't mean that you two are so strong that you can overcome all the hardships in relationship.No matter how decisive we are that we want the relationship to last long, there still be adversities that will test us.I can say that I had love so much before. We had been together since elementary up to high school. And even we part ways in college, we still communicate and have a good bonding.Funny but true, even we are still kids, we felt something for each other but keep it a secret within ourselves. Then later on, he reveal to me his feelings. I do not know what to say. I am so happy yet so afraid to have a commitment with him which is more than a friend. But then, I gave each of us a chance to love. We became bf/gf but it not last long. Though we started for long years being friends,I realized that, that is not enough reason for both of you to be compatible with each other in terms of love.After our broke up, I not communicate with him any longer. The hurt is still here inside me until now.I will just feel pain if I still communicate with him.I keep myself busy and give my heart a chance to love someone. He send me message once but I not give attention on it.I just want to forget him.And who knows, maybe someday I can face him with a smile on my face, but not for now.I just want to forget all the heartaches and calling him is a no no for me.

its a big NO NO!, i dont want to be friend with my EXes. . if you sep, get lost! time to move on, because if you really meant for each other, then it should not be happen, right? so find the real one for you. .

we already move on each other and have our own family both with kids, and still chatting each other,talkng about problem i think nothing wrong with that,

yup for me its okey to call the girl or the boy after the break up.. just for friends only...