It's Probably Because He Has A New Girlfriend....
By singlemommy
@singlemommy (2955)
United States
April 6, 2009 9:41pm CST
I had mentioned in another discussion about how I felt Mr. FedEx was treating me different and I thought maybe I had done something and he was upset with me or something, I just wasn't sure. Now I finally broke the ice last week, but he is still acting funny. Today, I walked over to where him and some guys were talking and he looked at them and said, "Well, I will see you later" as soon as I walked over there. He wouldn't make eye contact, wouldn't say hi or anything, so I'm thinking, "What the heck did I do?". Now, later on I was working with his friend and I just asked him if Bobby was mad at me, scared of me or what. I told him that Bobby won't talk to me or anything anymore and I didn't know what his deal was. He replied, "It's probably because he has a new girlfriend". I didn't really say anything, but his friend said that he met her at the bowling alley.
So, yeah, I wanted to hook up with him, but I'm not going to be mad or anything at him if he hooks up with some other girl. If I was dating him, that would have been different but I was just flirting with him. Do you think he is acting this way because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings or maybe he thinks he will lead me on or what? I just don't know what him having a new girlfriend has to do with him talking or even just saying hi to me.
9 people like this
25 responses
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
7 Apr 09
i don't know. It sounds to me like maybe he was flirting in fun and then found out that you had this huge crush on him when he wasn't really serious. Maybe that is why the back-off....he doesn't want to lead you on. If I remember from some of your other posts, he'd kind of backed of a while ago. I really don't know but I do think that you should give up on this one. By the way...I like your new aviator! 
4 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
Thank you, I kind of like the picture of myself. Well, he knew I had a big crush on him from the get go and he didn't treat me any different. But yeah, he backed off a couple weeks ago. I know it is for the better, I just don't like the tension. It's all good though, I wish him only happiness and I hope that he found it. I hope that when I find it that everyone will be happy for me as well.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
7 Apr 09
He is a weird one isn't he? I am guessing that he may not know what to say to you now that he has a girlfriend because he knows you like him. He sounds too complicated anyway with his mixed messages; one minute he appeared to show an interest, then ignores you until he comes out with something insensitive and now he's acting all strange because he's in a relationship.
Just forget about him, I think he enjoys your attention and is ego is fuelled when you show him that you like him. Move on to someone better, I just know he's just around the corner! In the meantime have fun and try as hard as you can to put Mr FedEx out of your mind.
4 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I hope that someone special is waiting for me around the corner, but until then, I'm okay, just going to keep doing what I'm doing. Yeah, I'm trying to put him out of mind, it's hard though being that I have to see him everyday, but hey, I can ignore him just as much as he can ignore me.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
7 Apr 09
It could be true he has a new gf or he knows you have a huge crush on him and feels on top of the world or something so he starts bullying you. The way the other guys were treating you didn't seem right, though. But life goes on. As I mentioned in my response to your previous discussion, you can meet new people in places like that, not only him. So don't sweat it. Go to other bowling alleys, parks, anywhere you can meet new people. Once you get over it, you will be able to go to the same bowling alley again and have fun without being bothered of the view of him with another woman (if there is any).
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
7 Apr 09
Hi singlemommy,
To be honest with you, I think people has been telling that you have been chasing him and he had backed off, maybe he didn't feel romantic towards but just friends and others had frightened him off so now that he has got a new girlfriend, you have to just back off forget that he exist and get on with your life, you will meet someone but it won't be Bobby.
Tamara
4 people like this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
7 Apr 09
Hey singlemommy! I guess he felt kind of uncomfortable because
he knows that you like him and doesn't know what to say to
you! Now that you know straight out that he met someone at
the bowling alley are you going to be upset and uncomfortable
about still going there if you see him with this woman? Now
don't lie and say no, because I do know that it will make
you feel somewhat uncomfortable! But, you have to deal with
it and move on! He is not the only man out there and for
whatever reason he has picked someone else! Unfortunately these
things just happen! It has happened to me so many times to
don't worry about it! Maybe they won't even work out, but in
the meantime act like you don't care! And I mean ACT the best
you can if you see them together! You have no other choice!
4 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I won't deny it. If I would see the two of them together then yeah, it would hurt but it isn't something that I would hold against him, if you know what I mean. I've been going to the bowling alley regularly in the past couple months and I've never seen him with a woman, he talks to the men out there, but I've never seen him talking to any women, so it did surprise me today when I heard it.
You are so right, who says that it will even work out and I should act like it doesn't bother me and that I don't care. I guess when he starts talking to me again then I will know that it didn't work out. Who knows. LOL
A man I work with today said this to me (this was before I knew Bobby had a new girlfriend), he said, "If you had Bobby, you wouldn't be able to hang on to him because I get the feeling that he doesn't stay in one place for very long". If that is true, then yeah, the new girlfriend will probably wear off and he'll be single again.
3 people like this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I'm sure he probably thinks its better. Guys are just weird like that. He probably doesn't know how you would react to him having a new girlfriend. Personally I would feel hurt but there is really nothing you can do about it. Next time he comes in I would say something like "hey just because you have a girlfriend that mean you can't talk to me anymore?"
If it were me I would have to let him know that I know he had a girlfriend. He probably thinks your not ok with it.
4 people like this
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
Maybe he just don't want you to expect anything that's why he is acting like that. Maybe he also really serious with her new girl and he doesn't want her to be jealous of you or become suspicious. I'm sorry that I can't tell much since I didn't know exactly what happened and I haven't read your other discussion about this. Let me browse over it and see if it will get clearer to me.
4 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
I don't get him either. You're right when you said that it would have been different if he was hooking up with you then suddenly you heard of this girl, why does he act that way when there's nothing really between the two of you!?
I guess he's just being a total A-Hole if you ask me.
Know what, I'd probably not do anything about it though, it would be his problem if he got issues with the situation, I'd even tease him by going there and greet him and stuff to truly frighten him away! hahahaa..
3 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I think my best approach is to just leave him alone. He obviously doesn't want to be bothered with me, so I will just go on as if I don't care.
3 people like this
@rosered0521 (41)
• United States
7 Apr 09
Think of it this way, you got out of it with out too many hurt feelings and your heart pretty much intact. If your other friend at work said he's a player than let him play and when he does come around and knock on your door, do the same thing to him, slam the door in his face. You have kids, you do not need a player, find the one that wants to be apart of your family and not just you. If a man really wants you he will want all of you, kids and all. That is the man you want to worry about, love, be friends with, and make a lifve with. Forget Mr. Right Now and go find Mr. Right.
5 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
You are so totally right rosered0521. I don't need a player, I need the real deal, the real man who wants to be with me and my kids. I definitely need a man who understands that my kids come first and if he can't accept my kids, then he can't accept me!
1 person likes this
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
7 Apr 09
A man by nature is a hunter and when he is hunted he starts getting the jitters. He does not like it. Maybe that is the case, or as you say a new girlfriend. Whatever, I think he is behaving boorish and so you tried and he did not respond. Good. We all have the message loud and clear. FORGET HIM. He does not deserve you or your friendship. So smile and get on with life with a bang. Cheers.
4 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
7 Apr 09
u need to forget it. follow his lead. if he wants to talk to u he will. all u are doing is feeding his ego.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
7 Apr 09
there you go, that a girl. u will find somone when u least expect it. u are trying too hard. believe me there are alot worse things than living by yourself & raising your children. they should be #1 on your agenda.
3 people like this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
You are probably right. I don't need to let it bother me, if he wants to talk to me then he will and if he doesn't then he doesn't, no biggie, right?
3 people like this
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
7 Apr 09
It might be hard for him to talk to you now, knowing you like him and him being with someone else. But him refusing to say even hi is kind of odd. If he is ignoring you thats just rude, especially if he doesnt give you a reason for it. He should step up and say hey i dont mind talking to you, but the flirting has to stop because i am seeing someone.
3 people like this
@pheonixstar1982 (2307)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Yeah i understand. I am the same way...if i like a guy and he finds someone that makes him happy, i'd be happy for them. I would not want to hold them back, the only thing that would upset me is if they stopped talking to me.
1 person likes this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
Yes, he should atleast tell me that he doesn't want to flirt anymore if that is what he wants. It's not really a big deal. Yeah, I did want to go out with him, but I don't want to hold someone back. If he has found someone who makes him happy then I'm happy for him. I want the same so I'm not going to be mad at someone if they have found it.
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
7 Apr 09
I would imagine, he was always just trying to be kind to you, when he knew you were interested in him. Now that he may have a girlfriend, I think he does not want to have you come on to him again, when he knows that he is not interested in you. He probably thinks the best thing for him to do is to not string you on, by chatting or hugging etc. Remember, he was never your man, so if you were to see him and the girl at the bowling alley, you should take it in stride. You are bound to see him again outside of your workplace, so if he wants to ignore you, so be it. Move on and close this chapter, there is someone out there for you, just be patient.
4 people like this
@cindyhxf (1446)
• China
7 Apr 09
what i think just try to forget him if he didn't care your feeling or didn't say hi or any word when met you.it is sure if he loves you he won't act so strangely to you.don't care too much what he is .the important thing is what you feel good and how to forget him then find your true man .good luck.
@dodongrex (32)
• Philippines
7 Apr 09
Don't you worry there are so many good guys out there ,its not your lost it him.but if u would enter a new relationship make sure that his worthy and always remember what you've done wrong to your previous relationship. don't do it again.
3 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
18 Apr 09
I would say he is just uncomfortable. I am sure you did nothing.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
13 Apr 09
from what I have read the fedex guy never seemed interested in you from day one, you got your feels hurt several times, hon for your hon good leave him alone and find somebody that wants you.
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
7 Apr 09
It may not be you at all. It is him. It is how he is dealing with the situation. He has a girlfriend. You don't know what kind of a relationship he has with her. She may make him feel uncomfortable or guilty if he talks to other women. He may have some feelings for you but wants to remain faithful to the new girl for now.
I would let him know I am aware of his new girlfriend. I would simply ask him "so how are things going with the new girlfriend?" "I hope you and the new girl are doing well." "So when were you going to tell me about the new girl in your life? haha" "I hear I have been replaced, hehehe!"
Whatever you ask him or tell him, do it with a bit of humor. Try to make him feel comfortable discussing it with you.
2 people like this
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Wow, your still hung up on this guy? Sorry, no offense, but its time to move on. Its possible he feels uncomfortable because of the way you've been flirting with him and now he has a new girlfriend. So to avoid hurting you or making the situation worse he is avoiding you and the situation entirely. I don't know why anyone would expect him to act differently. Here the guy is, trying to do is his job and not offend anyone. And yet every move he makes or word he says is judged - without even knowing the guy that well personally. I mean for all you know he could be an ax murderer on his off time. Again, no offense, but this seems more like an obsession than a minor flirtation. I'd suggest finding a guy who enjoys all the attention you will shower on him, and who deserves the attention also. Because if what the other guys say is true, this one isn't deserving of all this attention.
1 person likes this
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Apr 09
He knew I was interested in more than just a friendship. He never made a move so I knew he wasn't interested. It was all good until he started acting funny though, so I'm not sure what the deal is, but it's all good.
