UPDATE: Can you ever forgive your mother once she betrays you?

I think your Post is way too long and hard to read. Try to be concise and to the point. However I'm wondering if you have ever forgiven your Mother for conceiving and raising you, when she could have had an abortion and had it over and done with right away. She went to a lot of work and trouble over you, and no matter what she is doing, or has done, you can never take that away from her.

you know what when i was 2year old my mum and dad wanted to sell me away and the seller already paid a deposit. after that my grandma know about this and decide to adopte me. and so far i being with my grandma. and since i'm young till now i never forgive him and her, 15 year my mum never visit me at all. and my dad 10 year never visit me. and my married i never invite them. and never tell them too,until they heard from my sis i had married without inform him/he they get very disappointed . and i feel what you do and what you get.this is what i agree on you. and on my whole life i believe i won't forgive them.forever and ever.

Sometimes parents does things to hurt us and we have to learn to forgive them. I am sorry that you have to go through this experience with your mother but please my dear forgive her and move on with your life. Jesus says we cannot love the father who we never see and not love the ones we are seeing. Having resentment only will hurt you and so you have to let it go. Showing her love will make her see that she has a wonderful daughter and all the things she has done will allow her to repent. Continue to do the best for your children.

My mother never betrays me. If she betray then it is my mistake. Due to this all it is not matter of forgiving mother. Ultimately she is mother.

Please read about narcissistic personality disorder. Although I am not qualified to diagnose, it sounds like she may have this (or something else)--she is jealous because she is not getting your attention, she tries to manipulte family members, she makes up stories, she moves to your town. When I researched this disorder, it fit my mother to a tee. My mother also betrayed me, but not to the extent that your mother did. All advice on the internet suggests that you cut off all contact with these people. They can suck the life out of you. You should forgive her to bring peace to your heart (it is difficult-I still haven't forgiven my mother) and soul, but cut off communication with her. A good counselor can help also.

Please read about narcissistic personality disorder. From your story about your mother being jealous of not getting your attention, moving to where you live, and making up stories, this may be what she may have (although I cannot diagnose anything). When I read about this disorder it described my mother to a tee. My mother has betrayed me to, but not to the sadistic extent that your mother has betrayed you. The advice all over the internet is that these people are toxic and you must cut off all communication from them or they will suck the life out of you. I honestly believe that you should forgive for your own soul, but you should should definitely cut off all contact with her. You must remain calm in doing so in order to avoid adding fuel to the fire.

I could forgive my mother in time, but I could not forget what she did to me.

First of all, this sounds like your mom was super jealous of your relationship between your and your in-laws. I think in her mind, you were putting them above her (which I am sure you won't but that's probably how she saw it) and she didn't like it. Secondly, did you ever ask her who gave her the idea that you were video recording her? The reason I ask, is because something like this happened to me but with a friend. I had 2 friends (I was already a grown woman at this time with a baby) and we'd all talk. One of the ladies (I'll call her lady X) would talk about the other (lady Y) behind her back and then try to get me to say bad things about her. I never did because I didn't want to get involved in that and besides that I really liked the lady Y. She was nice and I didn't have anything bad to say about her. Anyway Lady Y stopped talking to me...just out of the blue. She didn't want anything to do with me and I didn't know why. I was really hurt about it but I was too embarrassed to ask her what was wrong so I never did. Later (like 2 years later) my husband comes home and tells me he finally found out what happened with Lady Y. He worked with both their husbands so he'd hear things. Well turns out Lady X went and told lady Y that I WAS TALKING ABOUT HER! That was so not true! I never said anything about her except that I thought she was nice! But Lady X for some reason wanted to cause problems and lied and blamed for saying things she said. To make a long story short, we moved and I never got the chance to talk to Lady Y again. To this day, she thinks I was the one talking about her. If I had just called her that first year and asked her what was going on, everything would've been settled and I couldn't at least told her my side of the story. So that's why I am asking if you ever asked your mother where she got the idea about video recording from...I don't want to get ideas into your head but someone else may be involved in all this...or maybe not. You won't know till you ask. Also did you ask your mom if she called DHS? Did she admit to it? Maybe it wasn't her...maybe it was someone else. I've learned to ask before I accuse (I don't mean this in a bad way towards you...just trying to help is all). And if she did call DHS...well that's a BAD thing. Because yes it does stay in your record and you look like the bad guy even if you're not. I would've been just as angry as you...and probably wouldn't have ever talked to my mom. Actually I also had a problem with my mom years ago. She had been cheating on my dad so I told him. why let the poor man think she's being faithful while she's sleeping with someone else. I told him, then called her and told her I told. I wanted to be upfront and honest as possible. Well she didn't care because she was all in love with this other man (who is a piece of crap...he's in prison again and was never good to my mom. He used to beat her and treat her like crap and take all her money so that's one other reason I told my dad. He would give her money and she'd support her boyfriend with it and that's not right). Anyway we still talked and everything was fine until she started opening up credit cards under my name. She would max them out and all of it went to her boyfriend. He had new jewelry, clothes, you name it...my credit cards bought it! Also, (before I knew about the credit cards) she asked for $500 to fix her car. She told me it was broken and so I over nighted the money. Later I asked my dad if they got the car (he stayed with her) fixed and he said," What? The car has never been broken." I asked her about it and she denied it but my brother told me she spent the money on her boyfriend. I was shocked because I didn't think she'd stoop that low! Right after that, we got transferred and whenever we move we always get our credit checked and that's when I found out about the credit cards. I called her and asked her about it and she again lied about it. But I called the credit card people and they sent me a copy of the signatures and it was her handwriting. I know my mom's handwriting and that was it! Luckily I lived in another state at the time so there was no way I was making those purchases so the credit card people took it off my bill and closed the accounts (I had to send a notarized signature too). We didn't talk for almost 4 years (I'd send her pictures of my son)...we only started talking because my dad passed away suddenly. We've talk every day now for hours. So I totally understand where you are coming from except your situation is worse because this has to do with your baby. I guess the only thing you can do is to be friendly but keep your guard up. Ask her about DHS and the video recording and I'm sure you'll be able to tell if she's lying. Keep it friendly and be tough. Don't let her walk all over you! Good Luck and sorry for the long post.

I think this is a hard call. To turn in a report like that would tear me up too. I understand her elevator doesn't reach the top floor, but that was cold hearted and vindictive. Any move you make should be with great caution. This might also be a time that you bond better with your brother. If you two have a strong relationship, maybe you would feel better about opening that door alittle more because you have another person that understands your mother and her lack of reality. I think that when it comes to our children you really need to weight the differences of do they need consistant love or more love. Meaning, what your daughter has now is consistant. Letting your mother back through that door to bond again with her - how long is it really doing to last? Will it be harder on your daughter to no know her until she's old enough to understand or would it be harder for her to get to know her and then have her disappear again? If this were me? Until I knew where my mothers head was, I wouldn't have her anywhere near my daughter.