friends who borrow money who buy expensive stuff w
friends who keep borrowing money
irratating friends
rabid rants
This is a RANT alert!!! If you're weak of heart don't read!!!
By Loverbear
@Loverbear (4918)
United States
April 8, 2009 3:12am CST
I was driving home tonight and decided to give my "friend" a quick call. BAD mistake!!! I mean really really BBBBAAAADDDD mistake!
First, she is jealous because I am very involved with one of my classes and am working like crazy for the "A" that I am hoping to get. She feels that I am getting attention and becoming important. Right, like being important matters to me, I just want to gain as much knowledge from the class as I can, and if possible make some contacts that will help my teddy bear business. I have a function that I volunteered to help at tonight, and it is bugging her down to her toes. Plus the class is putting on a forum and the friend wants to go, but she is in class and can't attend (plus the forum is by advanced reservation only since there is very limited seating) so that is getting her goat too. Also later today I have to make an emergency trip to see my neurologist because the pain in my neck is so great that I am about to shoot myself in the foot so the neck doesn't hurt so bad. This friend proceeded to attempt to invite herself along so she could go shopping...the punch line is coming, trust me!
Well after I shot her down about riding down to see my doctor with me, she had the balls to ask if I could loan her money to get a "SPIRAL" sliced ham. One of the local markets has them for ONLY $1.27 a pound!!!!!! In the same ad, right next to the spiral sliced hams are regular hams for 77 cents a pound. Normally this wouldn't bug me, but the woman received $3500 in grant and loan money for the semester. She pissed it all away!!!! She bought Easter candy and Easter basket stuff to the tune of $500! She ordered $150 worth of Avon stuff, bought cookies, more candy, sodas, and other crap with the money...then has the guts to ask me for money to buy a spiral cut fricken fracken #@###@%$$@^&% HAM!!!! I just paid for my annual rent, car payment, utilities, and animal food. My expenses came to over $1500 and I only get a little over $900 a month!!!! That wasn't including my annual rent either! Yes, I have a cell phone, but it is because I live so far out of town and need it in case of an emergency (which happened tonight when there was a tree across the road). I buy the cheapest cuts of meat, rush by the deli counter because I know I can't afford the prices, and I grow my own veggies. I limit MY food budget to less than $60 a month. MY animals eat better than I do!!! I got sick last week because I bought a piece of cheap meat that was a bit too old. This woman eats like a pig and gets the stuff I never even think to dream of since it is way too expensive to even consider buying. When I treat myself to shrimp, it's usually two to four shrimp...not pounds, just two to four shrimps. Then it's only when the friggen things are on sale for less than $6.00 a pound!!! My neighbors drop cat food and left over frozen foods from when their families visit and bring too much food. That's when I get some of the things that I really love...but I can't afford to buy them for myself. I look at the prices and put the stuff back!!! This person has more balls than a tennis court! I have loaned her money for "food" before and was appalled at how she spent the money. I tried to gently show her that there were cuts of meat just as good and not as expensive...I should have talked to the wall.
The woman has made Easter baskets for every one she knows...she probably even has made some for people that she never met! She even has made baskets for her college instructors!!! I am beyond angry...I am totally loosing it!!!! (I do sometimes wonder if I ever had it, and what in the heck is "IT" anyhow?) I am about to strangle her, and would probably enjoy every minute of it! I have gotten calls from her that she and her husband are totally out of food could she borrow $20, so I took her to the grocery store and it came to $60...I almost bit my tongue off because I had returned stuff I had bought so she could have some "food" in the house. The food amounted to a few pieces of meat, and cookies, chips, sodas, cake, deli meats etc.
How in the heck can someone have the guts to ask for someone to buy their Easter dinner for them, and then want the "BEST" of the friggen meats? Why not ask for prime rib? How about Fillet Mignon???? Or maybe Pheasant under glass??? I know full well that she is going to be begging for more money through the month!!! She didn't friggen listen to me when I told her to put the money aside to help with costs through the month. She had to go out on a spending spree that would put Paris Hilton in awe!!! ARRRRAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
I will admit that I am going to be a bit of a b-tch. I got the tile to redo my family room floor and I am going to loan her $25 for her fricken facken Easter Dinner and then I am going to tell her that I had to return the tile so they could eat their spiral cut fricken fracken friggen froken fraggen HAM! I am not going to answer the phone after that! I just can't take it any more!!! I have pain going up both sides of my neck, up my skull, down into my eye sockets, down my nose and into my jaw. Even the ends of my hair hurt! Vicodin doesn't cut the pain, and the pain is so bad that Somas don't cut through it enough to make me sleepy. I hurt, I'm crabby, and I could punch a hole in a tank I feel so friggen nasty. So some moron has to ask me for the money to buy a special ham for their Easter dinner. (Why didn't she do that the first of the month?) I saw the prices on the hams and I screamed one of those primal screams that scared the crap out of the cats and the dogs are cowering on their chair staring at me in awe!!! I am so sick of being so fricken fraken friggen careful with my money so that I can make it last the month and then have the a$$hole ask me for a loan because she blew his entire check at the beginning of the friggen month!!! I know that after I do the flea market that I have rented a booth for she is going to hit me up for more money. Any one wanna bet that she isn't??? Or she is going to go through the stuff and pick out the good things that she wants and never pays for them. She did that at one of the yard sales. I had a DVD player that she picked out for her husband and she has never paid for it. Of course this time I am pissed enough that I will say something. She wanted my jewelry armoir, I gave it to her and after three weeks she didn't want it and gave it to her cousin. Then she called me and asked me if I wanted it back...Yeah right, I am going to make her cousin give it to me after she got it as a gift. I was furious about that one too. She gets something and then doesn't like it and gives it away a week or two after she gets it.
Thanks for wading through my rant. I just so totally lost it when I saw the ham prices. I eat out dated meats and keep my expenses down so that I can survive, just to have someone else hit me up for money... it didn't sit well the physical pain I have is so bad. I apologize for both the length of the rant and the rant itself. I usually try to post fun things and share Khuay's antics...but this one had to be gotten out of my system before I blew a total gasket (actually I think I did! )
10 people like this
20 responses
@neerajpandey_13 (1765)
• India
8 Apr 09
Your discussion is too long. If you want my opiion about this then first explain your point in short so that I can give my precious time to your discussion.
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
8 Apr 09
It's a rant, I needed to get this off my chest. If you want the short version, I am PISSED. Is that short enough? My time is precious too. I am taking 19 units at college, I am currently busting my A$$ to maintain a 3.7 GPA (grade point average). I am trying to get ready for a flea market so I can make some money to try to do some of the repairs to the house.
I am not going to try to explain further than that. I am in incredible pain and I am extremely CRANKEY, I am going to see my doctor today on an emergency basis (it normally takes 6 weeks to get in to see him. I got in in less than 24 hours...so it might give you an idea of the severity of pain I am in) and I needed to vent my spleen last night about the a$$hole borrowing money to buy the best spiral cut ham while I eat cheap meats.
Short enough or do I need to pay for your time to read this? Haven't you ever got pissed to the point of needing to release it and rant and rave until you can let the matter go?
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
9 Apr 09
neerajpandey_13
If you found this discussion too long all you had to do was ignore it and move on to a shorter discussion more suitable. There are plenty of us who do ranting discussions here as it may be the only outlet for us to let off some steam
1 person likes this
@taface412 (3175)
• United States
9 Apr 09
Loverbear i can understand wanting to help others, and I can understand the frustration when it is totally abused....but I do have to say one thing. And don't take it offensively, but you are enabling your friend. Because obviously she knows how to get to your sensitive side and once there you cave in....I would do it this way...because I am one to want to help others as well, but if it puts you in debt or compromises your living situation and in the end it's not like it really helped her (if she constantly asks it's not) then say no. If she gets mad she gets mad. If she calls again say no and hang up. It may take awhile but she'll get the message and move on to someone else.
you're not her bank. her household is not your primary concern. I can understand you feel bad, but that should be the extent of it, because by enabling her needs you are causing yourself pain. And I am sure that pain in the neck gets worse under stress?
good luck and Happy Easter
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
11 Apr 09
I so agree with you here taface. And I commend you for putting things so nicely.
This person is no friend. And I'm sorry for your pain but i think the stress you certainly must be under is exacerbated by the situation. Friendship is a two way street. Good luck.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Oh {{LoverBear}}, You poor dear woman first of all you are too nice of a person to keep helping that nim-witted friend and #2, you should've used the money you loaned to her to buy yourself some good food for a change and Screw her!!
I bet she won't even share any of that ham with you huh?? Invite you over for a meal or anything??
Yep you are just toooooo nice to that creature, I think personally I would have decked her one for even asking you for money in your situation;
I'm sorry too that you are still suffering with so much pain, its time your doctor
get you a different pain pill and you said the Soma isn't helping you either to relax to sleep? That sucks!!
Dear Dear Lady, you need to start looking after yourself and not that selfish friend
I repeat Screw her!!!
She needs a good horse whipping or something to keep bugging you all the time what a selfish B!tch she is;
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
9 Apr 09
If you were here I would be hugging the stuffing out of you! I ended up having four nerve block shots, two on each side of my neck just below the base of my skull. They really helped, and now all I need to do is get rid of the residual headache from the tension and pain. We switched me from Vicodin to Tylenol 3, because of the governments intervention with the amounts of vicodin that is being prescribed. In the Los Angeles area doctors are prescribing massive amounts and it's being sold on the streets for $5 a pill! Stupid me, I use them for pain!!! I could be getting between 200 to 300 a prescription! Sigh, I'm going to college "WHY??"
Thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. I am putting my foot down on the lady and she needs to decide what to do next. She is living like she has a huge income from her job that she had 7 years ago...and it doesn't work since he gets just a few dollars more than I do on his disability income...he's soul support of the two of them. She needs a strict budget and she really needs to stick to it!
1 person likes this
@TenmaMetsuki (452)
• Bahrain
9 Apr 09
Don't you think you should have blown her off from the beginning, and never lend her any money whatsoever?The woman is clearly using you! She's probably the type of 'friend' that would disappear the moment you stop giving them money. If you have to 'pay' for her friendship, then you don't need it, now do you? there are many other better people that would rather lend you money than take it from someone in such a bad state! Her hubby definitely needs to take control over their expenses, unless he's the same as her, then they're both goners. But, friend or not, you've done more than enough, it might be a friend's job to be there for their friends when they're in trouble or need, but that doesn't mean you have to force yourself on the streets to let them have a comfortable life! that's just ridiculous!You should take your stand right away, and not let her have her way much longer, or else you'll end up in real trouble, which I highly doubt she'd help you out of. You should try making her pay up all the loans you gave her, too. Afterall, a loan is a "loan", it's not a give-&-not-receive kinda payment! You should notify her that you're expecting it back, and whether she does or doesn't pay up, you're not going to give her money anymore.
1 person likes this
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
9 Apr 09
I think if it had been me and I knew what type of person this "friend" is, that I would not have gone home and called her because it seems from what you said here, every time you get close to her she wants something. I don't know but I don't think I would call this person my friend and I would have to cut my ties with her so she could not upset me so much. While it is true that the two of you are around the same places and bound to bump into each other you do not have to be friends...being cordial would be just fine and lady like also.
@alexandra777 (643)
• Philippines
10 Apr 09
Dear kind loverbear, what a terrible friend you got there, a user, a leech, a parasite. I hope now you have enough courage to say "NO" to her. I understand what you are going through, i went through a similar (not exactly the same) thing with someone i treated as a friend before but i am glad i found out her true color at an early stage. And now she knows that her charm and pitiful life stories would never do their trick on me anymore. I'd say, just relax now that you have vented out your anger. Stay away from that 'friend' because she is just not really your friend.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
9 Apr 09
I just read your discussion titled, Maybe we should issue warnings about long posts, and came here to see what the big deal was as far as the length. It served the purpose of getting it off your chest and that is also what mylot is good far. There is nothing wrong with you doing a long post. I have seen long posts before. That is just downright silly to make a comment like was left for you.
@kpendragon77 (417)
• United States
9 Apr 09
This story reminded me of a similar situation I had to go through. I lent a friend near $600 to help her get a job that she had to dress very particularly for this job. She promised to pay me back and since she practically lived with me I knew I could keep track of her income. However, when she would get her checks she would blow her money and say that she needed to buy these things to survive. I had no idea that DVDs were necessary to survive! When I asked her to start paying me back she kept saying she didn't make much because she had a slow night. I tried not to get too upset but I couldn't help myself. I finally called her boss who happened to be a good friend of mine and came to find out that she had in fact quit her job and had not been to work for a couple weeks.
Needless to say, I was furious and I kicked her out of my home and told her that she would not be getting any of her stuff back until she payed me back the entire amount. She tried to steal the stuff back once by breaking into my house and she ended up in jail. I was able to get a court ruling to keep her items until she paid me back but I know that money is gone for good and her time limit is up. Therefore, I sold her things including the fancy clothes I had bought her and got the bulk of my money back. Of course, she pitched a fit and tried threatened me daily. It all led to nothing.
Sorry, I had to rant a little too. LOL. Anyway, if I were you I would not lend her anything at all. If she is going to be wasteful with her money that she is given then why should you have to pay for her stuff. You are scraping by right now and she is not your responsibility. A true friend would be understanding about that and not think of you as some ATM that will always be there to dispense money. If I were you, I would explain how you feel to her and if she wants to end the friendship because of it then that is her loss. It is not your job to take care of her and it is her job to manage her money right as you have done.
Don't be afraid to be truthful with her. It may seem selfish but why should you give up your dream over her stupidity?
LivyJ
@kpendragon77 (417)
• United States
9 Apr 09
Oh I forgot to comment on the headaches that you get. Have you been diagnosed with migraines? I get headaches like yours as well. My neurologist diagnosed me with migraines and one of the triggers is stress. I take either Imitrex or Treximet and they both work great. They make you a little light-headed at first but only for a few moments and they work quickly in getting rid of the headache. Sometimes, when they get REAL bad, I will take a Vicodin with it to ensure it goes away. Excedrin for migraines workd real well too.
Livy J
1 person likes this
@arkansos (545)
• India
9 Apr 09
OMG!!!You can rant like s/t. so all this is over a ham, I suppose. I do know such people who don't have the money(or don't realize that they'll run out of it) and still spend extravagantly. Whenever I am out alone, I generally spend minimal on normal food like lunhch breakfast, dinner and would probably try out the place's specialities. My friend doesn't thing so. I remember we spent 500 bux at a college we went on just food (lodgings were free) thanks to his tastes. and it was a 3 day trip
1 person likes this
@PrarieStyle (2486)
• United States
9 Apr 09
I sure hope she made you a basket. I would cut all ties with her as fast as possible. Did you ever consider that she's the pain in your neck?
1 person likes this
@ekimflow (121)
• United States
9 Apr 09
some people never stop and think before they act.i had a friend that came to my door one wed. night not very late mind you to ask if they could borrow some money $20 to go to the bar.i was already to go to bed as i had to get up early for work the next morning.she was broke and knewed that i had gotten paid that morning so she figiured i had money to spare not thinking that i had bills to pay unlike her who lives with her parents that pay for everything there.on top of that she had two friends with her that each wanted to borrow $20 each themselfs.that's $60 that i needed for food,lights and other bills that i had to pay myself unlike her who's parents pay it there.they promised they would pay me back on friday.well i not only lost $60 but two muchiers and one so-called friend.
@dmrone (746)
• United States
9 Apr 09
Hi! Well to begin with, i think your rant is right on the money!!! I enjoyed every second it took me to read it and had you have continued i would have continued to read it. I can relate to everything you have said in your rant. I also have a large family, and money is always tight. Some members of my family are just like your friend and it ticks me off to no end. I have gotten to the point that i have told them several times that i just did not have the money to loan them at all. After enough times of them being told there is no money to lend, they finally get the picture and leave me alone.
Thank you for sharing your rant, i was glad to read it. Hope you get your gasket fixed . Hope you have a great Easter.
1 person likes this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
9 Apr 09
I've known a few people like that in my life and I've always cut them out. They aren't worth the aggrevation, and certainly don't treat you very much like a friend. I've never quite understood people like that though. I keep trying to, but it I just fail to see how they can sit there and be so completely selfish and then act as if they have done nothing wrong what so ever.
It really sounds as if this woman has picked you over. She's a user, and I'd frankly just drop her. Let her find someone else to mooch off. You've more important things to do with your life, and there are probably better people out there who will appreciate your talents, gifts, and know what true friendship is about.
Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@signum (545)
• Australia
11 Apr 09
Oh My Goodness!! You weren't wrong when you said rant lol.
You gotta ditch this "friend". She's a user.
She needs to stand on her own two feet instead of relying on you to bail her out when she needs it. People like that take take take, and never give anything back in return.
To be honest, I do not know how you've managed to only flip your lid now....I would have lost it with her ages ago.
You've done well staying calm for so long, but hell, enough is enough....ditch her...fast.
She's a leech lol.
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
11 Apr 09
It doesn't matter how long or short your rant was, it's good to get things off your chest. I think anyone that's been there, knows how good it feels to get things out in the open. Maybe it's time to cut ties with this friend, because she's not just bringing you down, she's also irritating you so much it's causing physical pain from stress.
I have been there, and friends like that are never there for you when you need them. Mainly because they are so self-centered all they see is their needs and nobody doesn't exist. I even had a few that would come up with something similar to my problems so she could turn the focus back towards her. Now with the money issues, I just recently cut ties with a so called friends like that. Except she never got money from me. She would just use her moms money like it was a glass of water. I learned a long time ago not to loan money out to so called friends, because you will never get it back, and when you need money, they will all of the sudden be broke. Then you will see them wearing a new outfit or something.
Good luck with this friend of yours. More than likely you could go off on her, but she wouldn't get the hint.
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
8 Apr 09
I don't blame you for being so ticked off hon. I would be too! That takes a lot of nerve for someone that just got a whole bunch of money to ask someone that's on a fixed income for money for an extravagance. I hate people like that! They drive me absolutely batty (and everyone thinks that's because of the Vidodin....HAH! LOL).
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Apr 09
why not just say no and save yourself this terrible pain? i dont understand. id simply tell her, sorry i dont have it. the only people i cant say no to is my kids, but i even do them sometimes if its not an essential they need!
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
9 Apr 09
sorry, but you brought htis on yourself. You know from past experience that she is a USER SO WHY DO YOU KEEP LETTING HER USE YOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN? YOu work hard and have it altogether so why do you let this person in your life to upset you, make you brokea nd make you sick? Let hem go hungry at Easter. This is not your decision - it is her decision to go hungry and maybe she will learn not to be a parasite to her friends. YOu've ranted now and you should feel better. forgive me if I am a bot harsh but you have let this so called friend have permission to wreck your life.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
9 Apr 09
You are absolutely right! I am going to have a serious discussion with her tonight, and let her know the bank is closed. She has been pulling this too long and MY health is suffering from it. I have obligations and bills too, and I make sure the money is there for paying the bills and making sure I have food in the house and my critters are fed...it's time for her to grow up, get her head out of her a## and realize that she and her husband HAVE to make it on their own.
When a person is being honest, they aren't being harsh. There is no reason to forgive honesty...thank you for it.
1 person likes this