Who is right? Who is wrong?

Charlen- I've not been Catholic in a long time, but there is something I believe where faith is concerned. If you believe it to be against God's (your god of choice) or belief system then you truly have an obligation to live your faith. One of the things I have a tough time with where Christianity is concerned is this need or action to "pick and choose which laws they will follow". Meaning, "Well, if I kill in self defense, that's ok but the person who kills another is wrong", or "Well, it's not really a sin if...". Does this make sense? You can't pick and choose to follow parts of your faith and leave others out just to suit your needs are the moment. That's not what it teaches. I do agree your brother is being a tad harsh to cut her out completely, but I agree she shouldn't have been with a married man. Even though I'm no longer Christian I find that very unbecoming behavior. There are many men who live two lives, as this man has been doing promising both things. You have no idea what he's really told his supposedly soon to be ex wife, no more then your sister does. The proof will be in divorce papers. Perhaps the best thing your sister can do is to ask him to fully divorce before he has a live-in relationship with her. That way they can begin a new life fresh. If he doesn't and never leaves his wife she can at least then be free to find a man who doesn't have any secrets. I do think it is good of you to be there for your sister, but she also doesn't need you to enable her. Being with a married man is a sticky situation no matter what he's telling her. You may want to remind her of this. Not just sticky from a faith view, but from a legal view. She's not married to him, getting child support is going to be very sticky in that she'll have to admit she was sleeping with a married man. It may be more emotional scarring then she can handle, and she'll need your support. I hope things work out happy for her, but the tough reality is that it may end poorly. Namaste-Anora

God says what He has put together, no one should put asunder. evry marriage has problems that should be solved.

I am a catholic myself and am not so firm believer. But in any case, am a firm supporter of love and righteousness. Am totally against any one who follows the rules blindly. Rules are made to make people's live better and easier, and not miserable. Ya sometimes there are complicated situations, that may offend the usual rules, but life is not about living in a box, its about thinking out of the box and living according to what is right and not according to what should be right. I say, if the man is separated from his wife, there must be a reason, and if your sister and her bf find solace in each other and the bf takes full responsibility of what happens then what is happening is correct. There is mutual understanding and even the man wants to divorce his wife, so whats the point in making something good stop, in order to make better what has already gone wrong. Take Care God Bless YOU

Nobody is right, and nobody is wrong. It's just a difference of opinion. Everyone has different opinions, it's what makes the world interesting. You're not causing any harm to anyone by continuing to speak to your sister even though she did something that your religion does not agree with. That's your choice. It's your brother's choice not to speak to any of you because of what your sister is doing. He has that right. He might change his mind in time once he's not so angry anymore. He needs to understand that he can't control someone else's life, and he can only control his own decisions. Best of luck to all of you.

I don't think that there really is a right or wrong answer here. Your sister is doing what she thinks is the best for her, and your brother is doing what he feels is est for him. I do think that your brother also needs to remember the commandment, "Honor thy mother and thy father" before he really criticizes your sister here. If he is not speaking to your mother, he is also sinning.

Nobody is right and Nobody is wrong We love who we love and sometimes love doesnt come in the easiest form And people are entitled to make their own decisions about relationships Your brother should be happy that his sister is happy and most importantly everyone should focus on the well being of the child and not the personal issues going on!

I can understand your brother, he is very deep into his faith and wants his sister to be morally right, yet he is wrong to disown you guys, you your mother and your sister. Love for you all should overide his pride. he is asking you to do his work what I mean is if he is so concerned why doesn't he have a talk with your sister and the man she is courting with. As a sister and a best friend I commend you for not judging your sister because we all make mistakes, but I do agree with maybe you talking to her and telling her that maybe she should wait untill all is final before persuing this man although the dirt is done, maybe it would be the respectful way, because its a little unfair for the wife I mean she was married to the man and though the man maynot want her anymore he was her husband they were bonded by law. I hope and pray that your brother sees that disowning your sister, mom and you is a sin as well and reconsiders... good luck

Hi charlenmendoza, There is no right or wrong only the way we look at things.I agree that it isn't a great situation but your brother is mistaken here. We cannot change the past and to refuse to acknowledge his family will only make matters worse. By all means stand by your sister, she obviously loves this man and hopefully they will have a happy life together. From what you say, he appears to be a fair man and will do what is right. I hope that your brother will see his mistake and your family can be as one once again. Blessings.

Why should he ask you to disown your sister for his personal anger against something she's done? That's not fair in any case, and i would argue that in domestic situations you seek to understand each side of the argument. Rather than a case of being right and wrong -go with your gut instincts. I do think this is a dilemma that God or religion can be brought into - the bitterness would simply destroy the family (as proved by your brother's emotions) You sister is going to need your support and love through these months, and if that means support of her decisions to be with this man (as it appaears he was separated from his wife at the time- i hope) you can't force a person into a lifestyle that would only bring them pain. I hope you sister finds happiness and that at somepoint the rift in the family is mended, Happy mylotting

I that situation I think you should understand the side of your sister. She needs help and she needs a father for her kid. If the man loves her and is on the process of the annulment so be it. What is important in your situation is that the man is willing to love and support your sister and her kids. I am not saying that your brother is wrong but there are some cases wherein we need to decide on what is the present problem. Maybe if your sister loves the man and the man does not love her and just happened that they had a kid accidentally then that is a different issue. In that case you have, my advice is continue supporting your sister because she is in a great dilemma. Never mind the anger of your brother because that will pass in time. Mind the present situation that needs a right decision. I am not saying that my advice is right but if I were you that is what I'll do. I am a Catholic as well but I know when to bend the rules when needed. We are the ones who decide with our life and I know God will always be on our side no matter what. Our life has already been decided by Him. We are now just walking the path He has created.

It is up to the person or persons involved as to who is right or who is wrong. I could not judge my sister, or my brother for their own personal feelings. That is what makes each of us who we are.

each one has a point. but let me tell you... Your sister might have committed a mortal sin, and your brother may be just clinging to his beliefs (but definitely he's just ashamed about what people would think and talk about your sister and your family). We are not God so we cannot put somebody else's life into our hands not just because its not easy but also because we DO not really have the ability to do that. All that's left for us is to pray and do whatever God is commanding us.Yes...we all have our free will but to have a life with a significant purpose, we should ask God to have His way in us. Sure, your sister wants a peaceful and happy life and we know for certain that she has done something that is not pleasing to God but that doesn't end there dear..."He is faithful and Just and Will Forgive us of our sins" 1 john 1:9. It happened for a reason and if your brother really considers God's commandments, he should also have in mind that God doesn't want us to hate people. You and your whole family must be praying for your sister, guiding her and studying God's word together so all of you would know His directions.