how would you react?
By josephb
@josephb (219)
Malta
April 8, 2009 7:57am CST
so here's my situation sort of....
I have this friend like... she's a friend from the first second I was born... I always sort of like liked her and I was always there for her and ready for what she needed, although she didn't need many things. but this summer I'm planning to ask her something...you tell me why summer and not now? it's because we have o'levels some sort of very important exams in our country which I don't want them to interfere with our relationship... so I was planning to ask her by msn or face to face "do you want us to be more then best of the best friends?" how would you react? and is it a good idea?which is best face to face or msn or sms etc...?
2 people like this
11 responses
@garyc09 (132)
•
8 Apr 09
FACE TO FACE IF YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF TO BRINGING THIS UP WITH HER.
however this situation is hard.
does she give you any signs that she likes you more than a friend? if so then go fro it, if she hasnt give you any obvious signs then don't do it and dont lie to yourself thinking she does, jus dont do it if she hasnt blatently gave you the signs. It will ruin your friendship and you will regret it.
@josephb (219)
• Malta
8 Apr 09
yeah I agree with the user above this, well.... no but in the past yes. But I know why's that , she asked me once like 3 years ago, well I went like not answering I was like Oh my God what am I going to tell her, my hands where shaking , and I was feeling I was going to have a stroke or something and we both were going yes and then no etc... then like we promised each other(I know this seems stupid XD)that when we're 16 we ask each other, but the some months after that promise I was talkin with her bro and told him(he already knew everything...) that I don't have feelings for her anymore and I see her as my best friend. Well unfortunatley that wasn't her bro but her :S then to add the cherry on top, I went out with another girl for like 3months but then we broke up and I think that totally shook her and here where I live boys and girls don't get mixed up at school(we have different schools) so we don't see each other often.
@twanislost (241)
• United States
8 Apr 09
First of all you could have given you guys age. You say you have exams whicjh mean your in school but a 50 year old woman can be in school.
Second this is 2009 not 1999 you don't pass her a letter that says "do you want to be my girlfriend?" "check box 'yes' or 'no'"
You have to take the direct approach. Ask her face to face. But if you're still nervous than you might not be ready for the answer.
Most important. Expect the worse. Keep in your mind that she's gonna turn you down. This way if she actually does your feelings won't be as hurt.
Summers a long time away, she might meet someone or you might meet someone.
But Good Luck.
@josephb (219)
• Malta
8 Apr 09
thanks for your suggestions , we're still 16 but I can't keep it inside anymore... It's like something that I keep trapping inside of me but to trap it is really hard. And I have to keep it till summer at least so that all of this school stuff is over , her parents are really strict in her studying... which makes it difficult...
@camelhjx0 (83)
• China
9 Apr 09
16???If not the best friend,what do you want to be?The boyfriend of her??
At this age???
Any way,it it not the time to say out, keep it in your mind,and enjoy the happy time with her now!!
@grace24 (1050)
• Philippines
8 Apr 09
I think if you are going to ask her, i think it might be better if you talked to each other face to face to clarify those things. If you talk with her in msn or sms she might not believe you. You have to prove her that you are really sincere in what you are doing. You have to approach her to show your sincerity to her. I know that this might be a hard one to do but it is better that if you are going to do this you are prepared for any possibility. You may be lucky or not. You must be ready for this, prepare yourself and goodluck to you...
@sanuanu (11235)
• India
12 Apr 09
How would I react? Are you asking about my personal opinion?
i would definitely say yes, if you would ask me face to face. I wouldn't like it by sms or msn or anyother way from which I can't see you or hear you.
So, it has been four days. did you propose to her or still confused?
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
9 Apr 09
Have you considered inviting her out to dinner and talking to her about the way you feel? It would be a lot nicer for her to be approached face to face instead of by msn or sms; you can't ask her a question like "do you want us to be more then best of the best friends?" by text! Even if you sent her some flowers with a lovely letter would be better than an unemotional sms! Good luck to you, hope it works out for you! 
@LassePihl (9)
• Denmark
9 Apr 09
If I were you I would wait until the important exams were done, because if she does not feel the same way as you, You might get depressed and that will not do any good to your exams.
But asking her face to face is definitely the best way to do it. It is tough doing it face to face, but it works the best way.
Hope I helped.
@ILANEDRI19 (278)
• Israel
8 Apr 09
I know that kind of problem, and I know how complicated it can be. At first it's scary, because you scared from being rejected, but you don't have to. Just tell her that you are going to ask her something, and you don't want that question to help your friendship. Then ask her, and hope for the best. I'm sure she doesn't want to ruin your friendship.
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
8 Apr 09
I think its better to discuss your feelings face to face instead of through email so she can see and understand your feelings for her better, because when it comes to relationships Iv always felt it is better to talk about important things like your feelings face to face because its much better to be able to see the persons reaction and you just cant get that over an email.
Good luck telling your friend, and happy posting.
@JHawkin214 (279)
• United States
8 Apr 09
Face to face is always the best policy. In letters you can't hear tone or on the phone you can't see reactions. Those are very important when asking such an important question. As far as if you should ask her or not that really depends on you. Do you feel that she is someone you'd like to be with and you are in love with or is this just that you have been friends for so long that you feel a special connection. The only problem is if you do decide to date and it doesn't work out would you be able to let her go? Thos are all questions you should ask yourself.
@carcher777 (141)
• United States
8 Apr 09
From my experience, I have found that as soon as you make a sweeping statement about your feelings and force a woman into a yes/no scenario, you have lost. This is because women tend to not want a man that they know they can have. Your best bet is to be more playful and flirty. Act as if you could care less what she thinks. Make her laugh. Accuse HER of wanting YOU and see how she reacts. You can tell if a woman is on the same page as you are if you just open your eyes to the cues. If you lob a few flirty jokes at her and she doesn't up the ante right back at you, consider her just a friend and move on. Even if you DO like her a lot, date someone else at least temporarily. See if she exhibits any signs of jealousy at your new companion. Most importantly, do not attach all of your happiness to a woman unless that woman is your wife!
Good luck!
