How would you react when heard that your friend has critisized you ?

Hi Rajib...I know what I would do..NOTHING.... If someone is talking about me, then they are leaving everyone else alone.. Let them criticize, Im not a gossiper and dont worry about the silly little things in life..And how would I know if was really said anyways..I dont waste time on foolishness like that. Now my friend you may criticize what I just said!

It would depend on what was said. I think it is childish to go to someone and say "your friend said this about you." If the thing that was said is something harmful to my reputation or could cost me my job or harm my family that is a different matter. It is not enough just to go with the word of one "friend" over another. If several people came to me and expressed concern I would have to take some kind of action appropriate to the situation.

I can't really say what I would do now. I stopped being friends with all of my previous friends because of criticism from one friend and the lack of calling from others. I felt we were drifting apart and while it was hard on me to let my friends go I think I did the right thing my stopping our friendship. I hope your friend can also do the right thing by what he feels is right.

"Am I really as how he says I am?" would probably be my first question. Unless that friend was slandering me (probably calling me bad names or calling me a thief or whatever), then I think I would first ask myself then ask my other friends if what he says is true. If I really AM how he describes me, then I think I better change whatever bad attitude he pointed out. Thanks for the response on my discussion!

Good morning Rajiib! (Well it's morning here!) I grew with harsh uncalled for criticism and I am rather sensitive about it, although there is the constructive type where valuable lessons can be learnt. I am presuming that you are talking about unconstructive criticism that so called 'friends' often dish out behind someone's back to make themselves feel better. I have had it happen to me on many occasions and almost always from the same person which explains why we're no longer friends. I confronted my 'friend' each and every time asking her to explain to me exactly where she found fault and why. This often led to arguments until eventually the friendship could not take it any longer. It does depend on what was being said and who was doing the telling; if the person is someone I consider a good buddy I would definitely confront; anyone else, I couldn't care less!

Rajib- Dear friend, this has occured to me before, and sadly the friend is no longer a friend. The first thing I did was to confront the person in private and relate what other's were saying they were saying about me. They denied it, even with hard proof. So, I confronted them in public in front of the others passing on the information and the person made up excuses. So, I decided that person wasn't truly a friend and left it at that. It's quite sad when people do this, because they truly forget the meaning of friendship. I'm not sure how we can best end this type of behavior, other then to practice it. If we practice restraining ourselves from speaking when those types of thoughts enter our mind, perhaps then we can best avoid situations that might hurt our friend or jeopardize our relationship with them. If indeed the friend is making some grevious mistakes or such then it is always best to approach them yourself,not to rely on the "gossip" mill to reach them first. Namaste-Anora

What would I do now ? It depends on the level of intensity and the depth of my relationship with this person.If I am very clsoe and I know for sure that the other person is making it all up or adding some extra stories then I would ignore it.If I know this person well enough to come to a conclusion that it might have been possible [based on my prior deductions] , then slowly I will decrease the intensity of my feelings for the person.But I would not hate or feel illwill towards that person.I would only criticise myself for not being aware of his nature and just go about my work.But slowly there would be a watching for signals on my part-- meaning I would look at him more objectively and also think from the angle that this person may have not the same feeling that I have for him;this may change the intensity of my feelings for this person.I would still be friends but not a close friend.

I[i]t happened to me in the past and my initial reaction of course, I was shock and right there and then, I confronted my friend about it and she denied it...But, I can tell from her facial expression that she was guilty and I told her that I was disappointed and never imagine that she will talk bad stuff about me with other people.... After that, I stop hanging around with her......I love to be confronted and in my life, I am trying my best not to talk ill to other people and I am thankful that I am always guided and always have this self -control![/i]

Huh? this is one hell of a reaction which is obvious. I will also do the same given that situaion in front of me!

Hello my friend Rajib Ji, THis world is like that only. Why another friend should think that one will always be praised and never crticized. A good friend may criticize to correct one's friend. I think on eshould tolerate and think, if other is correct and react to first's suggestions. May God bless you and have a great time.

Hi Rajib!This has happened many times with all of us.When i was young I used to feel bad and confront the friend and lose the friend forever.Now I just feel bed but I know that the feeling wont last for long.So i just ignore the feeling and carry on for and after some days I forget about that.People are weak and sometimes even if they love you they might say something about you behind you maybe to get attention of someone or to get something out of teir heart.After saying they might even regret doing so in the next moment.So why keep such things in heart for long?

hi dada, there have been times when a 'so called' very close friend critisized me, rather she spoke ill about me and spoilt my relation with another friend. for sometime i didn't even realise that she was playing a vamp in my real life. later, when i finally came to know about her dirty intentions, it was too late. it was so late that nothing could be mended so i just decided to stop interacting with her anymore. she once contacted me, then i told her that i was aware of all that she did with me and neither i discussed it with her nor did i speak to her later. i feel there is no point in discussing things with such people. it is just that once you come to know about the intentions of such people you must stay away from such peolpe. suh people are nothing but lessons for the future.

Well there are times when someone says something in one sense and the listener understands it in another way. It is always wise to speak to the person and find out what exactly was said. According to the response u get from him/her then u will know what to do.

Well first would really depend if that friend of mine really knows me at all....maybe my friend is just telling the truth .... but if that one is not really a close friend i will talk to him/her and ask why is he/she is doing that to me and to tell him/her to better end whatever he/she is spreading to her/his other friends about me because its not true at all..... and if he/she was really a friend he/she will not do such thing to me....i think that being honest to your friend will really mean that you are indeed a good friend no matter if he/she critizes you positively or negatively (the friend in return should think about the critisism she/he got from that friend. it may mean for the better person in you) ....

It depends on what is the criticism and also on how I know the friend whose that third party is taking about. I think I will not overreact cause I never know what really has been said unless I've heard it myself. I will definitely talk to my friend first just to know if it is true or not.

I've had friends make mean comments about me in front of me. But like the dummy I am, I have always kept my mouth shut. but that was when I was younger. I am older now and have learned to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me. And if a friend is talking about me in front of me or behind my back, then that just shows how much I mean to that person and that person isn't worth keeping as a friend.

It depends, was the critiscm true? and was it well intentioned or in public to bring me down? I would not want to be gossiped about by my friends, but if a friend has a problem and does critisize me hopefully I would evaluate and see if they are right. Then go to them and ask them why they couldn't tell me stright up.

It is common to receive the criticm from friends! If it is right for me, I' like to accept it and correct my mistakes or bad habits. But if it is not true, I must debate with my friends and tell him or her what the things is! Good luck!

It would really depend on what he said. But I think all of us should remain calm and be critical. Furthermore, we should be open to criticism, constructive or not! For the simple reason that no one is perfect so for sure there would be criticisms about you. And you can not please everybody, so just go on with your life don't be bothered! Happy MyLotting!

Well depending on what I was getting criticized about I would confront my friend.