Gather Around Bretheren And Sisters.........That I May Share The Truth

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in the beginning the universe was just an empty box with a light switch on one wall. The Great Bear In The Sky flicked on the light switch and made light, he then flicked the light switch on and of rapidly several times pretending it was a light show, and thought to himself, "this is fun" The Great Bear In The Sky filled the empty box with everything we can now see, and those things beyond which we can see. on the fourth day He scooped up a handful of tree sap and formed it into His own image and with His left nostril, He blew life into it. on the fifth, sixth, and seventh day He smoked, drank beer, and rested......yeah, He's way quicker than the christian god. The Book Of The Great Bear tells of great miracles. of how the prophet Winnie was stuck and then freed from "the tree with honey in it" of how Saint Yogi of Jellystone with his faithful companion, Saint Boo-Boo were able to wrestle the golden picnic basket from the evil Mr. Ranger sir. of how when there became too much wickedness in the forest, The Great Bear In The Sky flooded the entire forest with poison oak and deer ticks destroying all life except for one bear and his family whom The Great Bear In The Sky instructed to build a tree house so that they may survive. only when a hummingbird brought the bear a marijuana leaf did he know it was safe to return to the forest floor. then one day, The Great Bear In The Sky sent the world his only begotten cub, that he may suffer and die in a bear trap to take away all our naughtiness. these are the true words written by The Great Bear In The Sky. believe in them so you may be allowed entrance into the Almighty Bear Den and eat honey, trout, and hikers for all eternity. if you do not heed the words given by The Great Bear In The Sky, you shall burn for all eternity in the campfire of death while molten marshmallows drip on you forever and ever..............amen does your religion have any interesting stories???