Always first

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My son had his birthday party few days ago and we had it at the local pool with 16 kids. We had 3 hosts that helped the kids and play games with them. As a special boy of the day my son was the first to try each new activity. My friend has a son 2 months younger than my son (my son turned 6). This boy is not a swimmer and uses arm bands (while none of the other kids did) and when I saw him not participating I asumed it was because of that. After few minutes I asked my friend why wasnt he playing as well she didnt look pleased and said something like " because he cant swim". Later she told my other friends that it was because of that and plus because he was not allowed to go first (this is a child that has to be at school at 8:15 for 9:00 start so he can be first). I am very angree about this. First of all she knew where the party was and could have said no he is not comming, second it was my son special day and he should have the first go and feel special. Other times me and my son dont mind if this child is first as my son has manners. My son knows that its not all about been first, that he has to work hard for that and that not been first is not the end of the world. This child has to be first at everything and his parents will do everything to make sure he does. And its not even important thing its things like ordering food first, finishing a drink first. \Would you have let this child be first? What would you have done and acted in this situation.