Phobia to Wedding Photo Shooting and Wedding Dinner, My Fiance said. Why?

@cocooreo (705)
Malaysia
April 9, 2009 11:27am CST
This early morning, my fiance confess to me that he is actually having this phobia. He told me he want to be frank with me regarding this matter. We are suppose to have photo shooting schedule in June this year and have not decided which date to be our wedding ceremony. Then, all of the sudden, he said he has PHOBIA but don't know why!! Why does he feel so? I am indeed disappointed hearing this as I thought most of the couple will be looking forward on such a blessing event but seems to be a nightmare to him. Why do you think that he scare of Wedding? For your information, we are already registered, but yet to have any ceremony. Hope to hear from any of you because until now, I still feel uneasy in my heart.
2 people like this
4 responses
• Canada
9 Apr 09
It sounds like your fiance has "cold feet" ... meaning he is just getting really nervous about your wedding. This happens to LOTS of people and it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or doesn't want to get married. A wedding of any size is a huge step. It represents a lot of changes and responsibilities and maybe the enormity of it all is affecting him. I think it's actually a really GOOD thing that he is talking to you about it, cocooreo. It gives you the chance to work with him on what is making him anxious and nervous. I know you want him to be looking forward to the wedding as much as you are but he clearly sees it all a little differently than you. You know your fiance better than anyone. Is he the type of man that likes to control a situation? Does he feel better when he is busy and "in charge"? Could he be making some decisions about the wedding or doing some tasks that would make him feel more confident and more involved? Or, is he the type that worries about every little detail? If he is, perhaps you can reassure him by showing him that things are in order and he doesn't need to worry. If you are handling most of the work and details, perhaps you can offer to include him in some things or just show him what he might need to see to ease his worries. Otherwise, he might just be nervous. We all get nervous. Some people just don't handle social situations well. It can be as basic as that. Just be supportive to him and encourage him to keep talking to you about how he is feeling. You can work on that together :) I wish you the very best.
1 person likes this
@cocooreo (705)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 09
Thank you very much for your advice. I was thinking all other silly thoughts before reading your respond. In my mind, the question whether he still love me, is he having an affair, is he thinking that our relationship have problem and so on and so forth... all this negative was swirling in my head non-stop. How I wish I can stop thinking like that but my mind just wouldn't stop. After reading your respond, it has really help to ease my feeling. I suppose I just need to give him some time to be ready. If not, by forcing, both of us will also be unhappy.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Apr 09
I think your fiance is getting nervous. Don't feel as if your the only woman whose fiance has gotten nervous before the date. Be glad that he is open and talking to you about how he feels. This does not mean as stated earlier that he does not love you, because you can tell from him expressing his feelings to you that he really loves and cares for you. He could of kept it inside until the very day and done something drastic like decide not to get married. Take this time that you two have, and try to help him over come having cold feet. I think if you work with him and show him that even though getting married is a big step and comitment you plan to stay by his side for a lifetime. Marriage is a big step that one can't go back from. You need to show him and keep showing him why he chose you out of all the women in the world.I think in the end he wil shed the cold feet and be glad that your the one he chose to marry. Have a happy mylotting day.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
15 Apr 09
I can relate to your fiance. I, too, have this big huge hang-up when it comes to cameras & big events. My feeling is that he does want to marry you but wishes he could do so without all of the hoopla. When I got married, all of that stuff nearly made me sick.
• India
17 Apr 09
Ask him to wear sunglasses or better you give him a pair of sunglasses. This will remove his uneasyness. http://www.wholesalediscountsunglasses.com