What does this say about a child's homelife?
By saundyl
@saundyl (9783)
Canada
April 13, 2009 9:25pm CST
Today my little sister had her friend over. Shes new to the area and she tends to be left out at school alot because she's a very unhappy different little girl.
She's a very pleasent little girl to have over and the two get along very well.
Her mom dropped her off this morning around 9 and asked if she could stay until her dad was off work at 6 (she was working too) and my mom said sure. The girls spent the day playing and seemed pretty happy.
What really struck me was at meal times anytime she had anything left over like a little bit of macaroni or some apple crisp she wanted to wrap it up "because mom says you cant waste anything" I commented on this to my mom who said often she and her sister will be sent to school with lunch and they wont have had breakfast and they say that lunch is what they get all day because theres not enough food for supper today.
Her dad came at 5:30 when we were eating supper - my dad went out to visit with him while she finsihed her supper. Well i know at a meal time if my parents came we always finsihed quick so they werent waiting around for us...well she ate even slower than she had been. My dad offered to take her home in an hour or so so the two girls could finish the quilted blanket she was making.
At 7:30 my dad said he would take her home at 8 when his show was over and she said "i'm not going home" and ran away to hide. My sister found her and they went to play outside. At 8 my dad went to get her and my sister to go to town. He found my sister where they had been playing but the little girl took off to hide. My sister found her and her friend looked "sad" to go home. not sad in the gonna cry sad but that she really really didn't want to go back.
I know her siblings (she has 3 younger) are all half siblings and her step-dad is adopting them...from what i hear its a lot better home life than it was prior to the new husband.
What would you think?
2 people like this
5 responses
@signum (545)
• Australia
14 Apr 09
Maybe next time she's over see if you can look for any bruises or signs of physical abuse? I may be way off the mark here and it may just be something as simple as her feeling like she's getting a better deal at your house and getting the food she needs but cannot get due to her family being too poor.
I grew up rather poor and I know I hated going home after seeing all the "nice" things my friends families had.
I really hope it's just a case of her wanting what other kids get, and not physical or emotional abuse.
@signum (545)
• Australia
14 Apr 09
Well there you go. Sounds like it really is just a case of the poor girl needing a few things that other kids of her age are so easily able to get. A good hot meal and decent food for breakfast and lunch always helps. I feel so sorry for her family not being able to eat properly. Such a shame they are so poor.
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@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
14 Apr 09
One of the games the two girls were playing was "Swimming pool" (my dad keeps the house hot like a sauna lately) so they were running around this morning when i stopped in my sisters one piece bikini swimsuits. No visible bruises.
I hope it is the case of not wanting to go home because of nice things. Turns out last night was her very first sleepover and my mom was up with the girls (she was a tad homesick it seemed) off and on until 3 am.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
14 Apr 09
Hi saundyl~I think that red flags are going up and there is
something very wrong there! She seems to be afraid or something
to go home and that is a warning that we are taught to take
very seriously where I live here. I know it is hard to pry
or get into someone elses business, but this girl has a reason
for being that upset. Not having enough food to eat is one
thing, but when the stepfather came to get her she instantly
didn't want to go with him. Could this be a sign of some sort
of abuse? Could he be mistreating her? We hear to many bad
things on the news about stuff like this so I am just asking
out of concern. Signs like that could mean alot of things,
but seeing a drastic change suddenly and you say this girl
is always sad. Those are signs of abuse. I really hope for
her sake I am very wrong.
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@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
14 Apr 09
They did have her over last week and she didnt have a problem going home at the end of the day last week with him. I hope for her sake that its just that she's bored at home with it being easter break here and not a sign of abuse.
My dad & sister did take her home and she didnt want to stay so he brought her back with him with pjs and a change of clothes. She also made a comment that she didnt want to go to her appointment tomorrow morning when the got back to the house.
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@GardenGerty (160996)
• United States
18 Apr 09
It says that she is experiencing poverty right now. Do they not have any school lunch programs that will provide free meals so that the girls can have supper at home as well? She did not seem scared, but just sad, like she did not know that anything would ever be good, and she would not ever feel safe and well fed. The family is struggling, and needs all the support it can get. I hope they get to a better place financially or that they get some help. Is it a family then of four children?
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@GardenGerty (160996)
• United States
19 Apr 09
Might have been a mental health appointment, or a scheduled visitation with a non custodial parent.
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@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
19 Apr 09
There is no program at the school here. However i do know that the teachers and the school board buy nonperisable foods like raviolis for the kids that come to school with no lunches (either because they were forgotten at home or lack of food)
Theres four kids in the family yes. My mom says that they are doing better the past month since both are now working not just the mom.
She did end up going home on the monday without a fight (about 4 hours AFTER her appointment she said she had) Her mom rescheduled whatever appointment it was and then there wasnt a big fight.
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@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
19 Apr 09
I think that maybe the parents are not able to feed all of the children sufficiently because of work etc, but that the fact she saves food is not bad. It is a good idea to save food and eat it before it spoils or throw it away when it does. I do think though that if I interpreted this correctly, the home was better before the step father? Maybe the stepfather has different rules, but before judging too quickly I would just see how it goes. Maybe the girl is not used to the step father and does not like his rules but he is not a bad person. Sometimes it's hard when a new rule is set in place, etc for children. This I remember from being a child myself, but of course now red flags go up at little things. Whilst they should go up, one should also be cautious so as to not tear a family apart without reason.
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@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
19 Apr 09
I got the impression that homelife in general was much more stable with the stepfather - they actually got married and they arent moving around as much..hes been with them for a bout 3 years.
As it turned out she really didnt want to go to her doctors appointment and was content to go home AFTER the appointment was missed.
@ptty_noel (190)
• Uruguay
14 Apr 09
Most kids who live in poor home tend to want to stay by families how are better off. It can be her way of showing that she just want a better standard of living.
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