Do you let your child stay home from school...
By patgalca
@patgalca (18366)
Orangeville, Ontario
April 15, 2009 4:01pm CST
My 16 year old daughter refused to go to school yesterday and really didn't want to go again today but I told her she couldn't miss a whole week of school. No, she is not sick. She was in a Taekwondo tournament this weekend. She got sucker punched in the face. I was not there. I wouldn't have been able to handle it. Seeing my baby get hurt I would have been crying because in martial arts you are not permitted to "go to" your child when they are hurt.
When she got home on Sunday I could see the bridge of her nose was swollen and the inside of her lip was cut up pretty bad from where her braces cut in. She told me it was the first time she had a bloody nose. Well, the next time a bruise appeared all around her left eye... yesterday, both eyes were bruised. Yeah, she has two black eyes and a bit of a swollen nose. She really didn't want anyone to see her like that. She went to school today and I got a text from her at 8:17am (she starts school at 8:00) saying, "This sucks." It appears she had a lot of people starting at her. I jokingly asked if there were any boys coming to her rescue thinking she had an abusive boyfriend. She was not amused.
This same child spent one day home from school when she was in kindergarten and broke her wrist. She had a cast on her arm and didn't want to go. She doesn't much like being the centre of attention. Geez, when I was a kid I thrived on attention I would get for something like that! 
I really feel bad for her but her 12yo sister took a soccer ball to the eye a couple of weeks ago resulting in a black eye but she didn't miss any school.
What do you think? Would you let a child stay home because she was too embarrassed about an injury?
I really feel bad for her but her 12yo sister took a soccer ball to the eye a couple of weeks ago resulting in a black eye but she didn't miss any school.
What do you think? Would you let a child stay home because she was too embarrassed about an injury?3 people like this
9 responses
@MysticTomatoes (1053)
• United States
15 Apr 09
Probably not. I'd likely make my child go to school as long as she wasn't running a fever or was contageous to other students. A bummed up nose isn't a danger to other students. Personally it's not that big of a deal. I went to work after a bad car wreck. Airbag went off in my face and I got pretty banged up. I had a black eye and a swollen cheek. More people were sympathetic towards me and in awe of my injuries and were wanting to help me out than wanted to make fun of me.
3 people like this
@MysticTomatoes (1053)
• United States
15 Apr 09
Ack. Went to *school* after a car wreck, not work. I was 18 at the time.
2 people like this
@coolcatzz (1587)
• Canada
15 Apr 09
Yup I would have let her stay home. To me there is a big difference between how 12 year old peers would react and 16 years. She was probably sick of answering questions, being stared at and having people snicker behind her back. 16 is a tough age especially these days. I would have definitely let her stay home. Just my opinion though.
3 people like this
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Apr 09
My husband said she should tell people, "You should see the other guy!"
Honestly, apart from snow days, she hasn't missed a whole lot of school. I am just concerned as there are a couple of subjects she needs to work on as her grades are not too good. I figure you go to school looking like that you'll get some sympathy from your teacher.
Honestly, apart from snow days, she hasn't missed a whole lot of school. I am just concerned as there are a couple of subjects she needs to work on as her grades are not too good. I figure you go to school looking like that you'll get some sympathy from your teacher.2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47312)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
15 Apr 09
That's too bad. You did check to make sure she hadn't broken her nose, though, right?
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Apr 09
Her Taekwondo instructor, after seeing her last night, suggested she go for x-rays so she is home today with an appointment to see the doctor. What is starting to irk me now is that they didn't take her to the hospital from the tournament. They didn't tend to her at all. By the way, she made team Canada and is going to freaking Russia next year!
2 people like this
@emilie2300 (1882)
• United States
16 Apr 09
My children go to a chatholic school and my youngest was in 5th grade and she had missed 25 days of school.
I thought she was sick at first but the days were spread out periodically that was the total. she was sick a few times but I found out she was really deppressed and being picked on in school.
I went to the school to get things strqaighted out but I thought she was not going to pass because she missed so much and chatholic school so expensive.
In your childs case now a days in school kids tease each other for the most ridicoluse reasons I would save her the embarasment and let her stay home.
3 people like this
@HelloMickey (1655)
• Hong Kong
16 Apr 09
Hello patgalca
I was a girl thrived on attention, my mum didn't know how to help me as she didn't know that.
I am suffering anxiety disorders, I now know I need to overcome my anxiety. I hope you can hope her, maybe telling her how you overcome this problem when you are young. Or let her lil sister shares some methods how she will react when people give their whole attention onto her, or how she helps herself when she face something embarrassing.
So I don't think it is good to let her stay home because she was too embarrassed, I think it may be a good chance to train her up and don't escape when she felt uncomfortable with the situation.
Hope her daugther will get better very soon.
3 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
23 Sep 09
I wouldn't call it embarassment, just that I am a very private person, and would want people to mind their own business. If my face looked that way, I'm sure they would not be able to mind their business, and I would not be comfortable being in public like that. I know how she feels. But if I did send a kid to school like that, and the kid didn't mind, I'd get a note from her Martial Arts instructor saying she was in a tournament etc. because in this day and age, if she looked like she was beat up, the parent may be the first one the school would look at.
@Darkwing (21583)
•
16 Apr 09
It's a difficult one. I guess you've had her checked out by the doctor, but it sounds pretty nasty and she's possibly sore, as well as embarrassed. I think probably she'll get over the embarrassment a little by this first day back, once they all get used to her having two black eyes, etc., and the novelty wears off.
Maybe her teacher would agree to set her some home work whilst she's off school. That's what they do here in England if you're worried about them losing too much education time, and they tend to keep up with what the others are doing. I would think she'd be happy with that.
Brightest Blessings.
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Apr 09
She got through yesterday at school all right but said a lot of people were staring even though she wore her reading glasses so that the bottom rims would cover her bruises. A lot of people were aware ahead of time because she did miss the first day and teachers questioned her absence so her best friend told them. However, she went to Taekwondo last night and her teacher told her she should get an x-ray so she is home again today with an appointment to see the doctor later this afternoon. When I called her in sick today I said, "She's the one that was walking around with two black eyes yesterday..." just so they know that these are valid absences. But I do feel getting through the first day was hardest and she can handle it better now. I should go see if she looks any better today than yesterday...
3 people like this
@froggieslover (3069)
• United States
16 Apr 09
I am not real sure, that would be hard one for me. I would honestly just want to wrap them in my arms and not let go till the pain and bruises were gone but I know I can't do that. You always want to protect your children whether it be from physical pain or "mental" pain(i.e. staring, name calling, embarrassment) but there is a point where you have to let them grow and that means having to face the music and go out to deal with the staring. From the sounds of it she got this on accident while doing her martial arts, its not like she got in a fight and lost...she got it in a honest way and in some way should be proud(if that is the right word) and show it off. I would let her know that she can't miss school just because she has a couple of black eyes and that if someone at school says something to her that she should talk it up and let them know that she got sucker punched while kicking butt and look how tough she is.
I would tell her that there is nothing to be ashamed of and she is going to have to go to school because school is important and that no matter how hard or embarrassing she can't hide away all the time :)
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18366)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Apr 09
I told her all that but she says people will stare but not ask her what happened. I had to keep her home today as her coach suggested she get x-rays so we went to the doctor and then to x-ray. They didn't send us to the hospital so I guess it's okay. She has stuff due at school tomorrow so she WILL be going. I think getting through that first day was harder.
1 person likes this
