I am trying to stay upbeat, but it's all fake!

I think you should talk to her about her "dream wedding". You can't (or at least shouldn't) be expected to carry the financial burden of a huge wedding just to satisfy her dream. She is starting a grown up life. She should start by making responsible decisions that don't burden her loved ones. That being said, whatever you have to do to muster up some excitement for her, you should do it. She's going down a rocky road and will need all of the support she can get. Although she is happy now, you know there will be tough times ahead. It will only be tougher if she feels that everyone feels that all of her moves have been mistakes. The guy she is marrying may be a loser but he is the baby's daddy. Maybe being a father will open his eyes.

I dont think you can pretend to be excited, as your feelings will come out no matter how much you pretend, tho I guess you just have to trust your daughter is doing the right thing, have you spoken to your daughter about how you feel, as at the end of the day it could be a great decision or could be the worst decision of her life. Tho only time will tell which one it is, so talk to her and if you have a strong relationship then you'll be able to work things through.

i think its hard to fake happiness. all you can do is do your best and if they dont like it, too bad! tell them if you are having to do it, its your rules, so what if she is family, your sanity counts for more.

I don't think you should bend over backwards for something you don't approve of. she is young and got herself in a bad situation, If I were you I would do the bare min. show her that life is not easy and she will have to work for what she wants... if she wants a dream wedding then she will have to do it when she can afford it.she is just a baby, what does her parents have to say about it.

This is tough. I'm in a SORT-of similar situation, but it's with my 25 year old cousin (so she's a bit older), marrying this guy I totally disapprove of (he's mean, a drunk, and EXTREMELY jealous). I don't agree with her decision to marry him..But I support her - mainly because as part of her close-knit family, I have to. I'm also planning her bridal shower, and I even have to recite a poem at the wedding dinner - it's hard to imagine writing a poem about a couple that I don't think is actually going to last more than a couple of years. *sigh*. I think you just have to grit your teeth and bare it. She's young, and she might be making a mistake - but it's her mistake to make. You just have to be there for her, you don't necessarily have to approve of all of her decisions. And keep in mind, we shouldn't judge people by their pasts. The guy she's marrying COULD be a reformed criminal (hopefully that's the case), and perhaps working in fast food was the only job he could get after being convicted (if he was). We shouldn't be so quick to judge - a lot of us make mistakes, but that doesn't necessarily mean we're incapable of being respectable parents/husbands. Hopefully he's turned over a new leaf. So..I guess, you don't really have to be excited. You just have to remember that you love your niece, and if things go wrong - you'll be there for her. That's quite enough, if you ask me.

You are in a difficult situation. I dont think that you should "pretend" to be happy. Let her know exactly how you feel but still be there for it. You need to let her know that this whole experience is not going to be all fun and games. Explain to her the difficulties first of all of being a teenage mother and that marriage is also hard work. If her maturity level is not where it should be she probably doesnt realize the hard task that awaits her. You should also explain to her that it is important to have a positive father in her child's life and if this man continues down this path of destruction she may want to reconsider spending the rest of her life with him. A lot of young girls marry their baby fathers because they are scared of being a single parent, its bad enough that she will be a teen mom. I think some of the responsibility for the wedding should be given to your niece and her baby's father. They need to realize that its time to grow up and take part in real life.

If you can't afford a big wedding sit down and talk to her. She will just have to understand that you are not able to do this. You don't want to end up cutting yourself financely just because she has this dream of a big wedding. She will get over it.

First of all, where is HER mother? and why are they telling YOU to give her a wedding? If the bride nor groom can afford this, then no one need to have nothing but just go down to the courthouse, pay your fee and get married there. Simple and cheap. And from the sound of the whole thing, you just paying for their mistake. No, tell them you got your own thing to do.

Your niece is only young and perhaps as she is pregnant she is trying to do the best thing by getting married. She is with her first boyfriend so she lacks of the knowledge of an man that might be her soul mate in the future. The guy was bad in the past and hopefully he has now changed for the best. You are acting happy about the wedding to help your niece's feelings that is excellent. I hope that the bridal shower will go well but before then perhaps you need to discuss the maximum number of guests. I think that you have to remember what you were like when you were a teenager but these days it is more challenging perhaps. Good luck.

At one point or another in our life, we've been there: force to do something for our loved ones that they are so passionate about. Though you're upset with the outcome of things for her, still your support for her should never falter. She needs you. You may never be able to comprehend it but rest assured that God is guiding her all throughout and maybe his using you as an instrument to make it happen. In due time she'll learn a lot of things and gained maturity. But if you stop being there for her then the probability might diminish. Good luck with the bridal shower.

Hey i dont have advice but i will share a similar experience. My sister left alabama two years ago just before turning seventeen. It was a complecated situation and my mom couldn't go get her to get her back home. She got pregnant by a 27 year old who already has 3 kids. They came back 3 months before due date. My sister begged my mom to help them get married. So one month before baby's due date we had a simple church wedding. At first i didn't know how to feel but when i saw my sister walking down the aisle I was proud and teared up. I dont know how they will turn out but they argue all the time. But my sister reminds me of your neice. She is immature but determined. My sister is not the best mother or wife now but i dont judge her or tell her my opinion because its something she will have to learn on her own. The same goes for your neice all you can do is support her and let her learn from her mistakes

You don't have to pretend to be excited..especially when you know she is making a mistake. THat is sad she cannot see this. Others who are excited are the ones who need to wise up and realize wedding does not equal fairytale good guy means that. Wow...she is so young to be pregnant and married she is going to go through so many changes. I am sorry she does not see it like you want her too, but you can who her you do not support this but still throw a little something. You can be happy for the presant, and wait for whatever happens in the future to be dealt wit hthen if it's ineveitable and you don't think you can change it. Good luck to you on this.

I thought that this is very selfish..