What have you put off because of fear?
By lumenmom
@lumenmom (1986)
United States
April 16, 2009 6:46pm CST
Yesterday I had dental surgery to remove a broken tooth which is no big deal in itself. The thing is I should have had it done 10 years ago! I have never been one to be afraid if the dentist, but ten years ago when I went in to have the surgery done, I was all for it until I read the consent sheet that told what could possibly happen including putting a hole in my sinus, temporary or permanent nerve damage, broken jaw, etc. I told them I would reschedule but I never went back. I only had it done yesterday because I developed an infection and the dentist said it had to come out. During the procedure which only lasted a few minutes I kept imagining the worse and almost jump out of my seat. Now it is over and I'm thinking wow, I could have had that done a long time ago. I'm told most of the things we fear never come to pass, yet fear can really cripple people. Is there something you have avoided doing because of fear?
9 responses
@w1nsse (36)
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
wow. this feels weird. ten years ago i had root canal done on one of my molar teeth. i have always had this fear on dentists, and i only got to go to get my teeth done root canal on after enduring the pain for weeks and even months! ten years back, the procedure began, the doctor killed the nerves and i could not feel anything anymore. after which she asked me to come back tomorrow. i never did. i put it off too many times that ten years later, it finally gave in and broke into half. i did have trouble eating within those ten years. i used the other side of my mouth to chew food. and just last month i finally went to a different and new dentist and told him about my phobia. i could not even explain why i had the fear. but after knowing about the consequences, and actually learning what could happen if i do not get my teeth checked every other six months? i do not know why i never did before. yes, fear can most definitely cripple us more than help us. but fear isn't really a bad thing if it is not of excess. and if we do put off responsibilities to doing anything because of some irrational fear we have? it would only sooner than later end up haunting us in ways that would even be ten folds more horrific than if we faced our fear in the first place. a cousin of my husband would not stop teasing him once that he was afraid of me, and that he should not be. because he could not make a final decision unless he goes through discussing it with me first. he tells her, 'that's right! i am afraid of my wife. and i think every husband should be afraid of their wives. because if we weren't, then it would be so easy for us to do the wrong thing. and what is so wrong with being afraid of making a mistake when my own wife on the other hand is as afraid of me as i am of her! because we love each other. we consider each other opinion to be of value.' and i love him to saying what he did. fear IS healthy if it keeps us from doing something we'd only regret in the long run. but if we keep from doing what is right simply because we might get hurt? let me quote scott peck on this one, 'trust anybody and you may be hurt; depend on anyone and that one may let you down. the price of this is pain. if someone is determined not to risk pain, then such a person must do without many things: having children, getting married, the hope of ambition, friendship-all that makes life alive, meaningful and significant. Move out or grow in any dimension and pain as well as joy will be your reward. A full life will be full of pain. But the only alternative is not to live fully or not to live at all.'(from the road less traveled)
i do not know any other, Better way to say it.:) i pray that all of us know the difference when to let go and to hold onto whatever fear we may have. strive to be happy stranger!:)
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
18 Apr 09
That is such a coincidence. Did the new dentist convince you to get it taken care of? Yes some fear is healthy and can save your life if you heed it. The tricky part is to know how to balance it all and not let too much fear keep us from taking actions that we should.
@w1nsse (36)
• Philippines
18 Apr 09
i did. i actually found the guts to face my fears(yes, not just one) when me and my husband decided to try for a child. and Especially after experiencing child birth the most natural and NON-anesthesized way? lol. i knew i could do anything! but basically, i thought, what would i be teaching our daughter if i cannot even get my teeth fixed because i am afraid? i didn't only want to prove it to myself. i wanted to be better For her, because more than we rarely think we do, reality is, we have such paramount influence on our children. though, yes. being afraid is a good thing like i said, just not of the excess. we need to know the difference. we need to be able to tell the difference. and when we begin to ask the right questions, the answers do reveal themselves in the most obvious ways than subtle.:) sometimes were just afraid to ask them because we know what the answer would be, now that's just an entirely draining vicious cycle there isn't it? lol
@xbrendax (2662)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Yes, but my case is different! You see I have ESP and everything I have said to my friends and relatives has happened just like I said they would. I have proved myself thousands of times over the years and people come to me with questions all the time. Even as a very small child I was able to tell people what was going to happen before it happened. Well here's my problem: I have a huge umbilical hernia that looks like half of a football sticking out of my belly button and I can not go and have it operated on because I know something will go wrong and I will die! I have felt this all my life and have avoided ever going to any hospital. Even as a very small child when I was told I had to have my tonsills (can't spell it) out, I ran away from home because I knew once I was put in a hospital I would die, of course I went back home and told my parents and they believed me, so I didn't have to go, but the thing is I still feel that way, (if I go into a hospital, I will die), and the feeling is not going away, in fact it is much stronger. I have been to emergency rooms off and on all my life for little things and that doesn't bother me but it's when I have to be (admitted and have to have surgery), that I know I will die. I am almost 60 now and I've had this hernia for over 5 years now and don't know what to do. I will put it off as long as I can but I do know something will have to be done soon for it is getting bigger but I am NOT ready to die yet! My friends and family hate to see me like this but at the same time they don't want to lose me either! The day I choose to go into the hospital is the day I WILL die, so that is why I put off going, not really out of fear, it's out of not wanting to say goodby yet!
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
17 Apr 09
i had broken tooth too. i have not taken it extracted by the dentist yet. cause for the same reason that i am afraid of the dentist. and also i just want to have those remaining tooth to stay there so that i will not going to have feel a gum without a tooth in it.
@westernangel (237)
• Canada
17 Apr 09
I put off learning to drive until I was well into my forties. I was always afraid and told everyone I knew that they would never see me behind the wheel of a car. Well, I conquered that fear a few years ago and now love driving. Wish I had learned many years ago, but very glad that I drive now.
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I was also a late bloomer to driving. I took driver's ed in school and did not do bad, but I was afraid I could not pass a real driving test for some reason. I waited til 18 and paid a private company for more lessons and still did not try to get my license til I was 21.
@adam1980 (516)
•
17 Apr 09
i hate the dentist and even though i new i had a cavity as long as it wasnt hurting i wouldnt go and see the dentist out of fear, eventually it became painful so i had to go when i couldnt stand the pain any more but it was too late to save the tooth by then and i had to have it removed which i have to say was not as bad as i was expecting, since then i have been for regular checkups as i dont want to be in pain with tooth ache ever again
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
17 Apr 09
Yeah tooth aches can be horrible and it is good that you now go for regular checkups where they can find problems before they get out of hand. In my case it was a regular check up where he found the infection, but I did not know it was there because I had no tooth pain. I had been having a lot of headaches but I did not relate it at all to my teeth.
@jerrydzy (47)
• China
17 Apr 09
Yes.I have ever done the same things like you many times.Even I once doubted if I had some problem in my mind.Sometime I put off one work only because It maybe will not be done perfectly.Other time I also put off going to see doctor for my stomach due to I fear the gastroscopy.But now I am finding those behavior is not a good choice.We must to learn to face everything that we should face.It is just life.
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
17 Apr 09
Flying.... I haven't went to Australia because I am terrified of heights and don't want to board the plane!
