i hurt her deeply due to my selfishness

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we have been together for nearly three years since our breaking up last year ,to be honest ,it was me that the first to have the thought of breaking up ,at the same time ,she still love me so much until today ,i think ,she is still care so much about me which make me feel so upset ,now we are both attending our college but in different city ,before we went to college ,i told her that i didn't think we are able to maintain this relationship any more ,very naturaly ,she busted into tears and i ,feeling terribly sorry just beside her wihout knowing what to say ,just as i thought that everything was going to be ok,she said online that she want to chat with me ,and i didn't think i had any excuse to refuse ,but again ,i hurt her so deeply ,i directly told her my real thoughts in my mind ,i had no feeling in her any more ,after all ,we were not able to see each other since then ,and with the time gone by ,my feeling in her fade away gradually ,again ,i became the heartbreaker and her heart was broke again ,am i a selfish person ???