Feeling like I don't belong

First of all CONGRADULATIONS on 21 days and counting! We are so very proud of you and the enormous challenge that you have taken on and are dealing with;} Secondly it is perfectly normal that you would feel "uncomfortable" around certain social standings right now. You have made a HUGE lifestyle change and it will affect the way that you see and deal with certain things forever but that doesn't mean that you have to drop your old crowd because of it. It does mean that a few changes on their part certainly won't hurt and may even encourage them to at least think about what is going on around them... For example if you are having a particularly "sensitive" day and just can't deal with the smoking and drinking offer up another choice of venue for the nights entertainment -how about a movie,dinner and dancing, some kind of charity event that will take you and your friends away from the "usual" and help out with a good cause-you get the idea have fun with it. If this fails let you husband and closest friend know how you honestly feel and let them know that you could use some support for those pesky situations.... Be well, be happy and enjoy your time......... Charlene

Hi beachstarz, you are never a third wheel around me! I don't care if you smoke or drink at all. It's the great person that you are that draws me to you! Don't ever think that your friends don't like you because you don't smoke. Speaking for myself I only have admiration for your willpower and hope that some of it will wear off on me. I'm sure that your feelings are normal, it's always difficult when you make changes in your life. You are doing a wonderful job, keep it up!

Wow, that is a tough question. For me personally, I really would not want to give up my friends only because they drink and smoke. However, if I had just recently quite drinking or smoking, then I would certainly have to distance myself from anyone doing that until I was over the hump. 21 days in MHO is not long enough to be without a cig. I have been a non smoker for 12 years now, and I have quite many times over the 20+ years that I did smoke. I made it to 11 months and 2 weeks once even, and caved! It is true what they say that you are not truely a non smoker until you have been without for a full year! It is truely a hard habbit to break, and stay away from. Hubby quite last year in Jan, then in July someone upset him really bad, (he suffers depression), and he started smoking again. He is still smoking now, and desperately fighting to quite again, and finding that it is much harder than it was last year! I found the same thing true for me the half dozen times that I quite, it can take years to be able to quite again if you go back. So, I guess my point is, if you go around your friends that are smoking, then you most likely will start again, unless you have some intense will power. Now if you are using a patch or something, then you are not dealing with the cravings that those of us who cold turkey it go through, and in that case, if you can deal with the smell of the smoke, (a day will come that the smell is over powering), then go and have a great time with your friends. I would not find new friends. If you are going cold turkey, just try planning events with your friends where you all are outside, in more open areas and space, maybe that would help you feel momfortably that you are not smoking too. It really is going to all depend on you, and what makes you feel comfortable. If your friends are reue friends, they will be there for you, and help you. Hope this helps

Hi, beachstarz! I am not a smoker at all. But I will still give you some advice. If you feel that you want to start making new friends because of your change, do so. Because when you continue to go around the same friends that you used to smoke with, chances are the habit may start to kick back in. And I know that you don't want that to happen. So, quitting is a big step and you will want to do everything that you can to do to stick to your words. Being away from them helps you to learn and understand that you are not missing anything. Smoking and drinking is bad for ones health. I am glad that you chose to stop. Take care.

well i guess they will notice it and most of the men when they have a get together they usually do drinking and since that you have quit from smoking and drinking they will feel bored in your company.

yes ,many people smoke ,like to get together for coktails , if anyone else has quit then felt like .

Well sometime ago, about 16 years ago I gave up meat and fish, becoming vegetarian. Most of the time this isn't a problem... ten years ago I became vegan, which can make things a little trickier, particularly when going out for a meal, if the restaurant don't have a choice of various veggie food. It also makes it more difficult to find a partner, I can be happy with. Yes, it can be a challenge making changes to your life, but stick at it and it will become easier and you should find excellent new friends!

hi! you don't have to worry about not being accepted because you quited smoking. it just means you love yourself first than pleasing others. loving ourselves first is a good value to keep on..

Avoid this type of friends. Overall you are in good track. Remain in your track and neglect these types of friendship as well. You have to focus on your value.

Is it always good to our health to moderate all the things we do or take. Especially on smoking and drinking, You're right that you stop smoking though it makes your friends bored about you but who the hell cares right? Its not their health they are taking to but your very own health. And its normal to take care for your own health to stay fit.

Yes, find and meet new people. No reason for you to be with your old friends if you feel unwelcome. Find people you feel comfortable around and everything else will fall into place.