Do silly things make you question your parenting?

To start with I feel your pain. I have 4 kids so not always being able to afford the "good" stuff happens. With the soccer ball thing you shouldn't feel bad. It's the coaches fault. They were suppose to tell you the size ball she needed. My daughter has been playing for a couple of years now and it's one of the things they tell you. Of course it is natural to feel bad that you can't always give your child the things they want or need for school or such. As long as you are doing the best you can then that's what matters.

Things like that will always come up. Don't sweat the small stuff!!! As long as you love your child and do the best you can for her, there is nothing wrong with you or your parenting style. Even though you can't afford things, you still make sure that your child is well provided for and has a roof over her head, good food to eat and clothing to wear. Don't beat yourself up about these things. It's life - always tossing curve balls.

at least you got her a ball. its better than no ball at all. this way when she gets older maybe 9 or so they will start to use the size 5 ball. and she'll be one of the girls to get her all first. as for the rain boots. be happy that you even got her a pair! if shes not happy that they are black you could always buy some glitter glue and draw on some flowers and if they get washed off by the rain draw a different pattern. or let your daughter do the drawing. she'll love showing off her different designs everyday. don't sweat the black top. How many parents who went to the play can say that they spotted their child the minute they saw her? i bet you can cause she stood out in purple. It would've look like she was given the lead or so. therefore you are a GOOD maybe in fact a GREAT mum.

It's perfectly normal to sweat the details about your kids. I do the same thing. What you say about the black shirt makes me think how terrible I felt at my daughter's first grade program. All the kids were either "farmers" or "city people" and my little girl was a farmer. I thought I did pretty well...she had old rough looking jeans, a plain t shirt and cowboy boots (Hannah Montana boots, no less...lol). When I got to the program most of the other kids had straw hats, overalls...some even had hay in their mouths. I felt like poop. The soccer ball is definately not your fault. I had no idea they came in different sizes either! I think that's just part of being a great parent. I go to great lengths to make sure my daughter has a happy childhood. One interesting thing though...once my daughter had to miss "movie day" at school because she had gotten into a little trouble that week. (Nothing major...just not being able to shut up in class...ha ha). When she came home that day and told me that she had to sit in a classroom with all the other kids that weren't allowed to go. It brought tears to my eyes. I felt soooo bad for her. I asked her if she cried and her response was priceless... "Of course I didn't cry...it was just a stupid movie that I've already seen." To her it was no big deal at all. Had the same thing happened to me in first grade, I would have cried for weeks...but for her it was like water off a duck's back. Ask your daughter how she feels. I bet a million dollars that she'd tell you mistakes happen and she adores her mommy!

I do! I have two daughters, my older one is 9 and the younger one just turned 8. There have been many times where I felt like I failed them somehow, even when those occasions were all about the little things that you've mentioned. My daughter was getting ready for her skating show on a Saturday morning and as I packed her bag to take her to the arena, I threw in her tights and the costume never giving it a thought to make sure everything was in order. We were both very excited about the whole thing because this was her first show. As she was getting dressed I noticed that she had a big hole in her tights just above the knee. I think the word ''mortified'' would accurately describe how I felt when I saw that hole and the horror in her face. Of course, I didn't have an extra pair in the bag and there was no way I could go and buy her a new pair before the show started. Needless to say, she was very upset as she glanced around and saw nobody else had the same problem. I wish I never had to see that disappointed look in her face...You see, a hole in her tights was not such a huge deal after all; yet, the world seems to crumble when we see that our children feel somehow let down. I think all parents have those moments and I also believe that we do the best we can for them and still question our abilities. It is the instinct of wanting to provide the best of everything for them. It doesn't mean we will always be able to. But I am convinced that as long as we have those little feelings, it will only push us towards being better parents.

i ever get these kind of feeling for such small things.

Talk to your daughter about these things so that she understands what happening. However, soccer is a team sport and is it really necessary that every player has a ball? We need to teach our children the value of sharing. norrisl4 http://norrisl4.blogpico.com

Talk to your daughter about these things so that she understands what happening. However, soccer is a team sport and is it really necessary that every player has a ball? We need to teach our children the value of sharing.

I can get mad about this stuff a lot, not at my kids and not at myself but at the schools or the expectations of kids needing to feel like they fit in. What does it matter? So what if she has a purple shirt or black boots? My son gets into all this silly stuff at school too. They are constantly asking parents to send crap in. Like one day they were making soup. They wanted me to send in alphabet letter noodles. Where the heck do you buy alphabet letter noodles? (especially with 24 hrs notice?!) They got a half opened bag of whole wheat egg noodles. It is all I had and I couldn't go to the store (though seriously i still do not think that stores sell alphabet noodles and on principle alone I wouldn't buy them even if they did!) So, no you're not a bad parent. You're a good parent if your kid has shirts and boots and heck even a soccer ball to boot :) Your daughter won't understand now (i know my 6 yr old son sure doesn't!) but someday hopefully they'll realize how silly it all is.

i wouldnt even worry about it , the point is you tryed to get something your daughter wanted to have so its the thought that counts that dont make you a bad parent so i woulnt even worry about it, some time i sweat the small things but i learned that if you give them everything they want because there friends have it then they are not going to learn what the word no means when you cant aford to get her something her friends have, so dont get donw on yourself,

Of course, we would not be parents if the silly things did not upset us from time to time. It is normal for you to feel this way from time to time. Hang in there. It does get better. Just think you have days in which other moms look at you and think you have it together and if only they could be as organized as you are.