helping by listening

I think a balance of both are good skills to have. Sometimes one can help by just listening to another, other times it can be good to give a little guidance to someone. It all really depends on the person and the situation. Sometimes we can mean well but often give bad advice so sometimes it is best just to listen.

I think that you can definately help by just listening. I've felt that way before, where i do not want anyone telling me what to do or what i am already doing wrong. I just want to vent. i just want to be able to get out everything i am feeling. I figure if someone says "i really need to talk about something" they just want me to listen. I try not to say anything unless they give me the okay. :]

Hi pat! I try to listen as best as I can for as long as I possibly can! But, at some point I feel the need to stick in a few words here and there! I wouldn't feel right if I didn't interject some kind of advice! After all, isn't that really what all that listening is about? Doesn't the person want advice? Or do they really just want a sounding board? If that's all they want then they sure better tell me ahead of time!

If some body is after getting some tips from you or wishes to be counseled you must be a good listener as the lawyers are. They listen to the client very careful so that not a single thread is amiss. And on similar note you can not advice any one without listening him/her properly. So I feel , if I am to counsel I must listen to the person with all attention.

I think you can help just by listening. Sometimes people have no one to talk to at all. Sometimes people just need to vent. Imagine not listening to someone only to find out they later went into a school and started shooting at people. Would it of hurt to listen to them. Take a moment next time someone says they need to talk. You might save a life or lives. Even if you never know you did.

I believe that would depend on the situation. However, I also think that when someone needs to open up, all they expect from you is for you to listen. In many cases, people do not want advice, they just need to be heard. If I have a friend that comes to me specifically for advice, I am more than willing to give it after having listened what they have to say. Unless I am asked to provide it though, I prefer to keep my advices to myself and just focus on listening to what they need to say.

Yes. Many times I have had friends that just want to verbalize whats bothering them but really don't want any advice. I listen and shake my head. Most of the time this is all the person wants.

In general listening can help to alleviate the mental and emtional burden of the one doing the talking. As they say it a problem shared is a problem halved. The morale support that can be perceived from the act of listening can lift up some hope or instill some strength. Unless asked for it may be prudent for us not to give any advice. There are people who just want to talk, and not really interested in listening to advice. For all we know the person may have done a lot more than what we can think of. The best way would be to learn real counselling techniques. Using this method we can find out more than what the person originally wanted to spill out, and give guidance without appearing to be like someone who knows the solution to all problems. all the best, rosdimy

Sometimes I listen.But don't give advice to anybody.Some persons feel pleasure to give advice.I don't like them.

A lot of us feel we are not being heard and that no one cares about our problems so having someone listen can mean a lot. There have been times when I have felt a lot better just having someone listen to my woes so I do believe that just paying attention can be a great help although it does depend on the situation. Giving advice is not always essential; some things we know we have to decide for ourselves but being able to vent is a great help at times.

I think that sometimes it helps just to listen. I think we all need to vent sometimes and don't really want any feedback. Just the assurance that we have someone to talk to. I'm more of a listener and most often don't give advice unless asked for it. Now if they ask..that's a whole other ballgame..lol..my friends know I am very honest. Most of the time when I vent..I already have my mind made up..I just want to get it off my chest.

I think alot of time people just want to talk about the situation at hand. They dont want to have someone take sides. I think they just want you to listen and understand what they are saying.

well sometimes when we listen to others talking... it can lessen the struggle or the stress flt by the talker... should or should not to give advise is up to the situation... if needed maybe you can give, but if the talker just want to speak what he/she want to say, maybe being silent with giving body language responses like nodding and giving eye contact while the talker speaking can help also... it can make the person feeling appreciated and not feeling alone....

At times all that is required to help someone is listening. I would go as far as saying that as soon as you jump in with advice, you are not really listening anymore. Its a bit like therapy...a therapist doesn't give advice as much as helping the person who talks work out his own problems. True listening means being non judgmental and accepting that whatever the person says is how they perceive things. Most people just want to have their feelings validated, someone to say ' oh, this is how you feel, and that's OK.' Of course sometimes people clearly ask for advice, but always consider that most advice is subjective because you give it based on your own experiences and perception. I think men in particular tend to think that they are being asked for advice when in fact all that is needed is an open ear. Unwanted advice can make people feel judged, and this is the last thing they want!

I think it really depends on the person and the situation. Most of the time when someone wants to talk they just need somone to listen, no comments needed. The person talking is just wanting to get things off of their chest. I will offer advice only if the person asks me for it. I try to listen and only listen, until they ask for advice, or an opinion.

It depends on the situation. Some of us process by thinking.. by hearing ourselve talk it out. If this is the case, then one simply needs to listen while the talker does his own "problem solving". At times it is appropriate to throw in a question or two to help them think things all the way through. There are times, a friend only needs to vent. They need to get it off their chest so it's not boiling up inside. These times, I only listen. Then there are times a talker is truly looking for answers and/or advice. I only offer advice if it is asked for. Many times I will ask up front during a "listening session" what the talker is looking for from me. I am learning though that you do not answer questions people do not ask. If you do.. you can lose a freind.