if you are in a situation like this, what are you going to do?

Its not the child's fault that parents split up and moved on. Of course he or she should have the chance to get to know his / her father. The child is a part of him whether you like it or not. I would encourage the two to get spend time together, your partner will appreciate your support and the love you show him by not becoming an obstacle, as will the child . Its not a competition!

Ok,jayrene, If I understand a partner has a child with some one from a precvios relationship and this partner just found out about it. should then they have a chance to get to know each other....Yes, the child is not to blame for the reason this person did not know about the existence of the child. And it is in the childs interest to. The child has the right to both of the parents...So long I think, no, I know that is the right thing to do. Now, the other thing is a bit tricky...becouse it depends on what the ex partner is looking for...is it a re try relationship he/she is after or is it friendly relationship ít´s about. I should talk it over with my partner..If this was me, find out what exactly she/he is after and then....perhaps make shore that my partner tell me how he/she think and what he/she is after. Now, if my partner only looking for friendship it is important that he/she make that clear to her/his ex, so there will not be any disturens.....I do not own a person, but if you have a relationship it is important with honesty and trust.....I will not compromise with that, no, nada, what so ever... that is how I should deal with this...lol

I think your partner should be in contact with his child. But when it comes down to the mother of the child I don't think he should have a good old hay day with her as in having a good time. I think you 2 should do this together when he meets his ex and picks up his child. But not by himself.

I have been in this position for some time now. My hubby has 2 kids from a previous marriage and I have no problem with them having a relationship with their dad. His ex wife however is another matter. She is crazy. Literally. She used to call "just to talk". Hubby would talk to her for the sake of the kids, but she got really annoying. He asked her not to call unless it was about the kids. And when both had gotten to be over 18 he told her not to call him at all. She wanted to be friends with me, ie: going places to eat, etc. I said no way. I don't want to get murdered and dumped somewhere. ( She really is crazy) Anyway, Kids yes...ex NO NO NO NO!

Let them have some good time? The father and child would be okay but the father(my partner's ex), child and my wife? No way! i would not allow that. my partner might fall in love with her ex again if i'm going to let it happen. i would just let child and his/her father have a great time with each other.

If what you mean by "have some good times" is letting him be a father than the answer is yes. There is no excuse to not allow someone to be involved in their child's life. There are enough children in the world who have no father. If you mean "have some good times" is to let your boyfriend hang out with his ex whenever he wants then the answer is no.

I think it's only right that the father gets to know his child, I think it would only be fair, the child has got nothing to do with what happened to his parents. As for the mother, well i guess you just have to make it clear with your partner with regards to that matter. He can be a father to his child but contact with the mother other than for the child is not and will not be tolerated.

I'm not gonna excuse them to contact each other privately... Their good times are already in the past. But i'm not gonna force my partner to forget their good times too... When she decide to create a new life commitment with me, she had to be serious with that with no excuses.

hi jayrene, it would be too hard to marry that type of a woman for me. but it depends on our destiny, so i can't say that i never marry such a girl. anyway if her ex wants to share his emotions with his child then i always permit and if he wants to share anything with my wife, then never. no way.

I have nothing against the child specially if he/she's a good kid but a spoiled brat, no no... I wouldn't allow my children to hang out with people like that, bad influence I mean. More from an ex, wow, that's too much... I'd probably start asking my husband about the possibility of a family reunion, lol... but I'm glad that i'm not in that kind of situation coz its too complicated. I won't really put myself into such kind of mess. Before I married my husband, I know for a fact that I'm the only woman in his life.

Oh so sad to hear about this matter.I will let the discussion to all of us both sides to make it final. I will ask my husband whom he likes to be with for practical situation even it is so hurting for me. I will let him choose where she gonna live to both of us. I will let him go or if he will live w/ me I will have the contract to support his child but not having good time the the mother again.

Well we are still in love and he do not have any past relationships because i am his first love and will be his lover forever, if I came to know that he has a child in past relationship then I may get upset and will continue the relationship. If he is showing interest on the past girl friend then I will take a back step and will go away from him, And a new life starts for me. But that will not happen, he is one of the best persons in the world with good principles.

hi jayrene, if there are children involved yes I would give the children an opportunity to know each other because they did not ask to be here it is your responsibility as a parent to see that children know each other. As far as the relationship between the two parents being able to co exist I guess it depends on trust, respect ,communication and maturity of the people involved. If i was in this situation I would have a serious talk with my partner expressing my concerns to the ex making a new contact, and I would listen to his / her views to get more understanding. Hopefully your partner will listen to you and respect you enough not do anything with the ex that would jeopardize your present relationship. I would not jump to conclusions But I would make it known not to overstep any boundaries. good luck

I was in same sort of situation. I encouraged him to have a relationship with his son, but when she wanted him to start coming to her house to visit I told him no way. He went to the court house for visitation.

I had no problem with my ex husband talking to his ex wife with his kids. Now his wife that didn't have kids I did at first and now that they are remarried that is that. Of course i sort of knew when he told me that they were just friends something was going on but I let it go at first because I wanted things to go good with us what a mistake.

It depends with the situation. If the contact was initiated just for the sole purpose of discussing about the child's future then I wont oppose it. But if they will decide to hook up again then I will leave them alone. In the first place they had a child, they have something in common. But If I'm married then it's already a different matter.

It depends. If you really love your partner then you can accept anything what happens in his/her past. It doesn't matter as long as there are no troubles attach to it. If the past partner or the ex of your partner is slowly coming to the scene then that is another story. It is difficult to judge the situation but the best thing to do at that point is to ask your partner is you should stick together or what would be the plan.

I am in this kind of situation, wherein my husband have a child in a past relationship, I wouldn't call it relationship actually because it was just a fling thing, they didn't have a serious relationship like boyfriend/girlfriend thingy, it was an accident the girl got pregnant...but everything happened before I entered the picture.. now that the child is already 7 yrs old I don't mind if they go out together, because I think the child deserves to know her father and so does my husband deserves to know his child.

Let's say I'm married with that partner, I would one respect her child from her past relationship and I would like to know why my partner would be contacting her ex for what reason. If say my partner makes contact with her ex in regard to their children and say the father wants to be with his child then I'm fine with that. However in regard if the ex wants to have good times with my partner I would definitely have to know the reason why and of course there would have to be set limits with that. I wasn't sure of your last part of the question, therefore, I hope I answered well to your topic. Have a nice day!