My friend is in trouble and needs help.

This is a difficult situation Bamrah. Can in anyway she reject it? If NO, then she has to come in terms with it. I know its tough for we do not get all that we want in life. Life is tough but we have to live the hurdles with smiles. She has to change her attitude and she must try to view life differently. I am sure he has many positive sides. She must highlight on that. Its better said than done, I know but she has to let go certain things in life. Good luck to her!

marriage i believe is not an easy decision. one has to take it seriously and never take it for granted. if i will be in her shoes. i will never get married. financial difficulty is not a reason for someone to be stocked in a marriage she never wanted. all i can suggest is that she must first let go of this burdern by being honest to herself. meaning she should stand firm upon what she thinks is best for her. next is she should be honest to her parents. she should explain well that the boy she is engaged to is not her type. and thirdly, she should be honest to her fiance. she should tell him what he really really really feels. she shouldn't be distracted by what others or her parents would say. if both families would still force her to marry him then let it be but at least the boy knows what she really feels. and in cases of complication in the long run or continuous unreconciled fights in the future, at least the guy knows where its coming from. at least the girl can't blame herself for such chaotic relationship. but lastly, please do pray and seek guidance from God..

I beleive the best thing for your friend to do is to be honest. it is her life and she will have to live with it. who knows the boy may loose weight after he finds out she doesn't care for it that much. he may respect her wishes and join a gym. but in the end she should be honest and talk it out with her parents... arranged marriages is sad. but their is a chance that love will grow and she will be happy good luck

Well,Glad to see your response.If that is the traditional means to get the engagement and marrige.I think the firend of you could brave the facts,and think well what she is doing,if determined,She could also brave the traditional,and become the 10% rather than the 90 percent.Actually,this also happened in our tradition,but the fudel age conclude 100 years ago.BTW,which country are you in?

And here i was thinking how the hell her parents were able to face her instead, marrying her off to some stranger expecting the best...If i were her, i will run away. I know it sounds simple but i will not live my future life in depression and with someone i don't even know much less like...It's ridiculous actually at this day and age that such things still happen. I don't know what she will do, if she had that courage and will to strogly believe in her own freedom, she'll fight for it. =] It's just my opinion though...take care.

this is hard. but if she cant say NO and there is nothing else she can do to stop it. then the only thing left is to make the marriage work. consider the financial crisis going on now, she's still fortunate she'd be marrying someone with a good job, that for sure she can be perfectly taken care of... there's always a positive side to everything. i do hope your friend will see it. what does she wants, somebody not fat but cant provide for her, or somebody like that but can provide for her. her frustration will only be in the early stage of marriage, but when it gets longer, she'll be okay.

Its difficult to break from such a culture. I take it that you are living in India or some place similar where fixed marriage is a routine. I would be supportive. Its hard to be married to someone that you dont love. I would talk to the parents and exercise my influence to stop this marriage.

Point is that if the friend dont like the boy then she can leave anytime she wants. People dont realize that by doing what other people want you to do doesnt always mean you have too. If she isnt happy with his weight then she needs to tell him. You cant be in a relationship or even marriage for that matter without being honest because if you not HONEST it dont never work. So she needs to grow up and tell the boy look you need to loose some weight. And IF he truely respected her and care about her opinion then he wont have a problem with taking a time out from all the fatty foods. Thats just my opinion though.

I so sorry to hear what your friend is facing for. I do offer my sympathy to your friend. Hope that she will be able to get out of his problem soon and in a better way. If she is my friend, I will support every decision that she want to made as long as she think it will be the best for herself.

well it is not possible that you get everything in a guy in arranged marriage. Either he is not good looking or he is not earning well or has a large family or has unmarried sisters or is not an NRI. so i guess she should marry him and relieve her parents lots and lots of tensions and as you said her parents are not in a position to marry her good, so she should be happy she got a guy who understand her parents and respects their wish of simple marriage. Looks after sometime stop mattering and it is heart of the guy which matters most. Would she want a guy who is very sexy yet a casanova or wont think twice before hurting her.

it is not right for any parent to choose a partner for their child; its very, very wrong. she should not marry him if she does not want to, she should tell her parents that. not that i dont care about parents, but they can feel bad if they want to, she is the one who will be hurting in the long run, not them. its a very selfish act, they need to admit that.

My friend is in trouble and needs help. Here is the real deal, tell ur friend that she must live her own life and make her own decisions. She cannot marry someone just to make her parents happy. Believe me, been there and done that and bought a tee shirt, it does not work.

Love is an imagination,however it is also realistic.Engament is just a start,the paticipant have the power to decide the other is a good choice or not.According to your description,your friend came into a delima,get him or not!But,she has her own freedom in the marriage,and just make the choice she think what is right!!

i am engaged with a girl i don't love.because i dare not say no.and i now keep in touch with her every day,trying to fall in love with her.

Well i guess you have to tell her the positive out come of her life and follow what she believe might be good to her self and to her family. You can easily teach love especially to the woman, it will not ruin her life if her parents do believe that it is the right life for her, maybe she have not seen the purpose of her parents for her.

if my friends is in trouble and if she he needs my help i would make the best that i could to exten my help to him her..i love my friend..if the things that she he ask from me causes violation or against to me.then i would advice him her as a true friend i would say a big NO to the things that will bother my conscience i will just help them if it is for their best.

Wow, I think that I understand how it is. It's too bad that a person in india isn't allowed to choose their own mate. i think that I would have to leave that country if it were me. Wishing her good luck.

the problem is that the boy is fat but earning good money and he has house in America, So I think your friend should tell him in private that She can't married casue he is fat and tell it to her parents also. and see the reaction of that boy. there is no solution, if she has some daring then she can reject, and if she looks beautiful then she will get many proposals.

Its a very tricky situation for you to suggest her what to do. However, for your friend, its easier because, she is the one who has to decide what to do. If she is not willing to marry a person just because she doesnt like his appearance, then tell her to check her criteria for marriage. All that glitters is not gold!! Success of a marriage depends on two persons' understanding and cooperation with mutual respect and not for liking of physical appearance. If she is rluctant to marry an ugly looking person, remind her that beauty is also not forever. But if she is rigid for not marrying this person, what is she waiting for? She should tell her parents and be ready to face the aftermath too. Only this will save her from future regrets. Also, she can try to talk to that person, before taking final decision. Perhaps after meeting the would be groom, she finds him marrigiable and all the problems will be solved. All the best!

You can never satisfy both side.Only herself konws what does she want. Maybe she can persuward the man to control weight and start doing some sports.If the man loves her I think he will do it.